Karen Dempsey

and that goes for weddings and funerals because we don't do a wedding ceremony training and a funeral ceremony training I don't do that because I don't believe they're as different as people think both of them contain big emotions so a lot of the training is getting used to your own big emotions bringing them to the surface and seeing how you deal with them

And people are usually really surprised at themselves when they do that.

Because if you want to do it, you'll find a place in yourself that is still and solid.

The other part is, when I'm holding ceremony, I am nearly always emotional.

And I think that's the beauty and that keeps the freshness in my ceremonies.

Because I let myself be moved by people.

I believe it is my job to be moved by what I see and feel in the world.

So I go to music concerts and I cry at movies and I let myself feel all those emotions.

That is part of my work and is the part of the work of every celebrant.

So if I'm holding a funeral ceremony, one of the things that often really gets me is children or grandchildren crying at the loss of a parent or a grandparent.

That I just find so emotional and I name it.

So if I'm holding a ceremony and maybe there's been a beautiful slideshow or like a grandchild has sung a song, I will say,

I am so moved by that.

I need a moment to compose myself and I'm sure I know I'm not alone.

If I felt that I would go to pieces at the microphone, that's different.

There have been days I might get a phone call for a funeral and I say, I actually can't take it today.

I'm not in the space and I would always say to every celebrant, you do not have to take every ceremony that crosses your path.

Or when I just had Roisin, actually she's seven now, she was only a few weeks old and I got a call for a baby funeral because I hold a lot of baby funerals.

And I said I couldn't, I'm not in the space for doing that.

So I didn't.