Karen Doubletree

And now with the check of traffic, everything's a mess and the whole town's falling apart. We'll be back after this commercial break.

And now with the check of traffic, everything's a mess and the whole town's falling apart. We'll be back after this commercial break.

And welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before you snooze. I'm Karen Doubletree with today's headlines. Controversy today in Crabapple. As the newly unelected head of DOGI, the Department of Gross Incompetence, sent officials to the Department of Transportation to cut the power to all the traffic signals and remove all stop signs from the Crabapple Main Street.

And welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before you snooze. I'm Karen Doubletree with today's headlines. Controversy today in Crabapple. As the newly unelected head of DOGI, the Department of Gross Incompetence, sent officials to the Department of Transportation to cut the power to all the traffic signals and remove all stop signs from the Crabapple Main Street.

Director Xanadu Susk told WSHIT in a statement, These moves were made in an effort to cripple the town's traffic and make parking lots more accessible for his helicopter. One of the officials charged with the responsibility of turning off all the traffic lights and removing the stop signs, calling himself Reaper the Sleeper, was targeted with negative feedback and comments on his Instagram page.

Director Xanadu Susk told WSHIT in a statement, These moves were made in an effort to cripple the town's traffic and make parking lots more accessible for his helicopter. One of the officials charged with the responsibility of turning off all the traffic lights and removing the stop signs, calling himself Reaper the Sleeper, was targeted with negative feedback and comments on his Instagram page.

What?

What?

In a press conference earlier this afternoon, he had this to say...

In a press conference earlier this afternoon, he had this to say...

Pieper then went on to add that while he understands the anger around the decisions being made, part of his compensation package includes being in a room with a real-life female and the ability to access an AI sex robot whenever he wanted. But he assured Crab Appliance that all of the stop signs are safely tucked away in his mom's basement.

Pieper then went on to add that while he understands the anger around the decisions being made, part of his compensation package includes being in a room with a real-life female and the ability to access an AI sex robot whenever he wanted. But he assured Crab Appliance that all of the stop signs are safely tucked away in his mom's basement.

And now with the check of traffic, everything's a mess and the whole town's falling apart. We'll be back after this commercial break.

And welcome back to WSHIT's Evening News. It's news you can use before you snooze. I'm Karen Doubletree with today's headlines. Controversy today in Crabapple. As the newly unelected head of DOGI, the Department of Gross Incompetence, sent officials to the Department of Transportation to cut the power to all the traffic signals and remove all stop signs from the Crabapple Main Street.

Director Xanadu Susk told WSHIT in a statement, These moves were made in an effort to cripple the town's traffic and make parking lots more accessible for his helicopter. One of the officials charged with the responsibility of turning off all the traffic lights and removing the stop signs, calling himself Reaper the Sleeper, was targeted with negative feedback and comments on his Instagram page.

What?

In a press conference earlier this afternoon, he had this to say...

Pieper then went on to add that while he understands the anger around the decisions being made, part of his compensation package includes being in a room with a real-life female and the ability to access an AI sex robot whenever he wanted. But he assured Crab Appliance that all of the stop signs are safely tucked away in his mom's basement.