Karen Kilgariff

I told the man I needed to get my stuffed animal at the bar and politely excuse myself to go ask my then quite drunk dad what was going on. Oh, shit. When I told him, he grabbed the manager and drunkenly told her to maybe check out this guy outside. Turns out he had corralled another child with him and she caught him outside just in time. As far as I know, nothing ever came of this.

I told the man I needed to get my stuffed animal at the bar and politely excuse myself to go ask my then quite drunk dad what was going on. Oh, shit. When I told him, he grabbed the manager and drunkenly told her to maybe check out this guy outside. Turns out he had corralled another child with him and she caught him outside just in time. As far as I know, nothing ever came of this.

And though I have tried to research this many times, there is no record of a near kidnapping at the local bar. Fuck. My dad to this day can only vaguely remember almost losing his daughter that night and had never followed up about the man who tried to take her. Classic dad. My dad is an incredible guy and continues to live life with a live fast, die young attitude at the ripe young age of 70.

And though I have tried to research this many times, there is no record of a near kidnapping at the local bar. Fuck. My dad to this day can only vaguely remember almost losing his daughter that night and had never followed up about the man who tried to take her. Classic dad. My dad is an incredible guy and continues to live life with a live fast, die young attitude at the ripe young age of 70.

As you can imagine, I have plenty more near death secret past life stories that I will have to write about another day involving this legendary man. And with that, stay sexy and don't let your husband take your six year old to happy hour. Or if you do, maybe sit her on the bar like a normal parent. Emma, she, her. Holy fucking shit, Emma.

As you can imagine, I have plenty more near death secret past life stories that I will have to write about another day involving this legendary man. And with that, stay sexy and don't let your husband take your six year old to happy hour. Or if you do, maybe sit her on the bar like a normal parent. Emma, she, her. Holy fucking shit, Emma.

Yeah. Why did nobody follow up? Why? Why?

Yeah. Why did nobody follow up? Why? Why?

If no one's paying attention, then yeah, you're on your fucking own.

If no one's paying attention, then yeah, you're on your fucking own.

Uno momento. Let me just go grab the, and then be like, dad, what is up with this guy? He says that he knows you.

Uno momento. Let me just go grab the, and then be like, dad, what is up with this guy? He says that he knows you.

Oh, okay. Drink your fucking seven and seven and like, let's get the fuck out of here.

Oh, okay. Drink your fucking seven and seven and like, let's get the fuck out of here.

Oh, yay. I love it already. Right? Tell us why family members don't speak, please.

Oh, yay. I love it already. Right? Tell us why family members don't speak, please.

I don't have anyone like I'll never speak to again. So it's really nice to hear that.

I don't have anyone like I'll never speak to again. So it's really nice to hear that.

I got to question this whole fucking wedding. Yeah. This whole marriage.

I got to question this whole fucking wedding. Yeah. This whole marriage.