Karen Kilgariff

Her full-time job is caring for her children, but Mickey's drinking and gambling make it nearly impossible for her to buy groceries or pay rent. And at one point, she's left to feed her kids popcorn that she mixes with jelly and water just for the calories. Aww. So meanwhile, Francine lives with a looming threat of violence at the hands of her husband.

Her full-time job is caring for her children, but Mickey's drinking and gambling make it nearly impossible for her to buy groceries or pay rent. And at one point, she's left to feed her kids popcorn that she mixes with jelly and water just for the calories. Aww. So meanwhile, Francine lives with a looming threat of violence at the hands of her husband.

Not constantly, because sometimes Mickey can be loving when he wants to be. But Francine learns to walk on eggshells around him. Her son James later reflects on the tense atmosphere in their home by saying, quote, So when Mickey's mad, he usually takes it out on Francine. Sometimes this happens in front of the children, and sometimes it's so bad the cops are called.

Not constantly, because sometimes Mickey can be loving when he wants to be. But Francine learns to walk on eggshells around him. Her son James later reflects on the tense atmosphere in their home by saying, quote, So when Mickey's mad, he usually takes it out on Francine. Sometimes this happens in front of the children, and sometimes it's so bad the cops are called.

But Mickey never faces any real consequences because at the time, police officers would only make an arrest if they themselves witnessed the assault firsthand. Otherwise, they just file a report. Now, these days, that's changed. In most jurisdictions, officers can make arrests citing probable cause based on injuries or witnesses' statements.

But Mickey never faces any real consequences because at the time, police officers would only make an arrest if they themselves witnessed the assault firsthand. Otherwise, they just file a report. Now, these days, that's changed. In most jurisdictions, officers can make arrests citing probable cause based on injuries or witnesses' statements.

So, of course, once the police are called to stop this horrible domestic abuse, and then it stops, then they leave. Mickey just goes back to beating Francine again. And so, of course, the natural question that we have heard in the past is why doesn't she leave?

So, of course, once the police are called to stop this horrible domestic abuse, and then it stops, then they leave. Mickey just goes back to beating Francine again. And so, of course, the natural question that we have heard in the past is why doesn't she leave?

But I think a lot of people, especially since like the 80s, just people who are interested in knowing the real answer to questions like that, know that it is an incredibly complex situation to be in when abuser and abused. There's no question Francine wants a different life for herself.

But I think a lot of people, especially since like the 80s, just people who are interested in knowing the real answer to questions like that, know that it is an incredibly complex situation to be in when abuser and abused. There's no question Francine wants a different life for herself.

Along with the physical abuse, Mickey controls every aspect of her life down to whether or not she can have friends. Wow. Yeah. And we've talked about how difficult it can be for women to leave their abuser.

Along with the physical abuse, Mickey controls every aspect of her life down to whether or not she can have friends. Wow. Yeah. And we've talked about how difficult it can be for women to leave their abuser.

But it's worth saying again, escaping abuse can be extremely complex because abusers often use physical, financial and psychological manipulation to trap their victims in a vicious cycle of control. Totally. Also, there's stigma around intimate partner violence, as well as societal or family pressures.

But it's worth saying again, escaping abuse can be extremely complex because abusers often use physical, financial and psychological manipulation to trap their victims in a vicious cycle of control. Totally. Also, there's stigma around intimate partner violence, as well as societal or family pressures.

Like when you want to leave, but you have the kind of like mother who might say, no, no, that's, look, you've got to put up with him or you've got to make it so he doesn't do that. That's a society we've lived in for a long time. The women have to fix their men's deep psychological issues or take responsibility for them.

Like when you want to leave, but you have the kind of like mother who might say, no, no, that's, look, you've got to put up with him or you've got to make it so he doesn't do that. That's a society we've lived in for a long time. The women have to fix their men's deep psychological issues or take responsibility for them.

The genuine love for your abuser can keep you in that situation, but also so does the degradation of the victim's spirit. As attorney and advocate Tiffany Smith explained to Retro Report, quote, "'This big question remains in people's minds who have not been through this or do not understand this, which is why didn't you just leave?

The genuine love for your abuser can keep you in that situation, but also so does the degradation of the victim's spirit. As attorney and advocate Tiffany Smith explained to Retro Report, quote, "'This big question remains in people's minds who have not been through this or do not understand this, which is why didn't you just leave?

A woman doesn't go on a first date, get punched in the face, and stay with this person. What happens is very calculating, very slow.'" You're humiliated. You're threatened. You've been told over and over again you're worthless. And it builds and builds until leaving feels impossible. And more than that, it's deadly.

A woman doesn't go on a first date, get punched in the face, and stay with this person. What happens is very calculating, very slow.'" You're humiliated. You're threatened. You've been told over and over again you're worthless. And it builds and builds until leaving feels impossible. And more than that, it's deadly.