Kat Dennings

That was like the moment where I was like... Yeah, like something snapped in my brain and I just never went back there, which is pretty...

Oh, American Family Market.

I was just going to start crying because I won the MAPES coloring contest two years in a row. No, you didn't. I did. And I cheated. And I'm really sorry. I figured out. The truth comes out. Here it is. 30 years later. I figured out how to do it. And I cheated. And I feel really bad about it. But c'est la vie, you know? Right? Yeah. Here's how to win. That's amazing. Here's how I figured out.

For the listeners, this is a five and 10. That is usually, I think maybe there's one location left or something, but they're mostly gone. The best place ever, Mapes five and 10. And every year they had a coloring contest for the kids and they give you the sheet. And you'd do it. And then they'd hang up the first, second, and third behind the counter.

And the first place would win like a $10 gift certificate or something, which buys a lot of stuff at the five and 10. It did. It really did. And every year I would lose. And I would notice that the first place always had like a bunch of stuff on it. Just like piles of paint, piles of pom poms, piles of sequins. And I was like, that doesn't even look good. What the hell?

So one year I decided to just see if the more crap I piled onto this picture would actually win. And it did.

Yeah. I mean, you know, cheating on a children's coloring contest at the 5 and 10 is not the worst crime I could commit. Yeah.

That's right. I'll go with that.

Well, I always get the same thing. And we're talking about hoagies, right? Naturally, yes. All right. I always – and this is controversial also because I don't know if you remember Lee's Hoagie House. I think there's still a Lee's Hoagie House over there. I do. I always get turkey, extra shredded lettuce, and mayo, and that's it. I know. I can respect that.

It's flavorless, and it reminds me of my childhood, and I love it. And I never, never deviate from that order. That's perfect. Perfect. And did they have, okay, everyone's turned this off. They're like, we wanted to hear about Two Broke Girls. She's talking about sandwiches. We'll get there. Whatever. This is a huge deal for me, guys.

Sorry, guys. Sorry. I loved. I know, same. I could literally talk about this all day.

Oh, my God. Well, first of all, thank you, because I just was just texting with Beth just now who played Caroline in that show, who I still like, love and adore. And we basically grew up on that show together. I think we started it when I was 22 and we wrapped when I was like 30 or something. I don't I can't do math. No, that's wrong. Whatever, like 29, something like that. She is so fantastic.

But so the way this happened was it was a pilot, which is just for anyone who wouldn't know about this. You make a TV show, but your first episode is called the pilot and you make the pilot and the studio and network decide whether they want to pick it up to series. So you just never know what's going to happen with a pilot. And I had only done like. in indie movies and stuff.

And I had just gotten cast in Thor, like just like we hadn't shot it yet. Or some something or we had shot it and it hadn't come out. That's what it was. We'd shot it, it hadn't come out yet. And then I got a call offering me so I didn't have to audition for this, offering me the role of Max Black. And I was like, are they sure?

Like, this seems like such a funny, because I'd only done like semi dramatic, like indie movies, and then like 40 Old Virgin and these other comedies. So I was like, this is so weird. I can't believe they want me for this. Why would they want me? And then I realized that the main boss creator of this show, Michael Patrick King had worked with me when I was 14 on an episode of Sex and the City.

it, it took off. It was just the craziest thing that it, that it became what it ended up being, which was like this very like raunchy, like fun experience that I just, I could never have known what it was going to be like. And it was really amazing. So yeah, I got a call and I went to sushi with Whitney Cummings and Michael Patrick King and they convinced me to do it.

I'm like, all right, that's it. That's the story.

Yeah. I was like, okay.

I think maybe once, uh, In seven years, six seasons, I broke once. I don't remember what it was.

On to the next one. It's true. It's true. I'm sorry to admit that, but most of the time when I'm performing, I'm just thinking about whatever I'm going to say next. I mean, if it works, it works. I'm the opposite of Meryl Streep. Let's just put it that way. I'm just thinking about what I'm going to say next and wondering if I messed that last line up. And that's pretty much it.

Oh, my God.

That's a first for me that I've never played a mom. And I didn't really know what to do next, like career wise. I was like, I mean, you know, I'm 38. Like I'm in this this area where like I could play mom, but like how? Me? I'm 12. How could I play a mother? Like, that's crazy. But, you know, obviously the math, maths.

And I was excited about the idea, you know, doing something I've never done before and playing up this side of my life because I am a stepmother. I have two stepchildren and I'm a godmother and I have nieces and nephews that are like my own children. And so I have this big side of me where there are a lot of children involved in my life. So I was really excited to do that.

And yeah, I've never gotten to do that before. And then obviously Tim Allen is, you know, this is the Tim Allen's next sitcom, which is like, he's an icon of, of television. So I was like, you know, I can't really pass, pass up this opportunity. This would be really fun. And it is. It's,

You're so nice. Thank you. It's a really interesting experience because we are dealing with grief and real issues on this. And it feels kind of crazy to be raw and emotional in front of an audience like that. And it's this incredible combination of theater and burlesque or something like that. But as soon as I look into Tim Allen's little face... I'm in there. Like I forget about everything else.

Cause he's really, I mean, everyone knows he's great, but he, he's a very present actor and he's really feeling these things. And I really haven't experienced that a huge amount because like me, people are thinking about their next line or whatever they're doing. He's so, he's so in the moment and he's such an amazing actor and he's He will just be there with you.

And I experienced these feelings without having to think about there's one episode where we have to get emotional. We were both really dreading it. Like, oh, God, we have to cry. What is this? But but we it's like I looked at him and I started crying and he looked at me and he started crying. It was real. And in the first episode, we both get emotional and it was real.

Like these aren't, it's just, it's incredible to do with him and the kids. I mean, everybody is really amazing. And that just makes the funny parts even funnier and such a relief to do. And it's just been a very good organic feeling like show to me, which is new. It's a new experience for me.

Thank you so much.

Yeah. My first manager, God bless her, she was out of her mind. And she was like a child manager. So you know what I'm talking about.

It's a real vibe. And her husband, and you know what? These are great people. I'm not going to say anything shady, but it was a little funny. Her husband had an acting studio, in quotes, right?

that every client that she signs had to go to so sure nine-year-old me goes to this acting class and it's full of bright-eyed young people and this guy just tore into these kids like you wouldn't believe i mean soul crushing to the point where a teenage boy left the room crying Okay. It was so horrible. And they had me read like a chiclet commercial, like a fake commercial off of paper.

And that was like a exercise or something. I don't know. And I did a bad job because of course, nine years old. And he was like, that was terrible. You're never going to be an actress. You have no instincts. I was like, I'm selling imaginary chicklets, sir. Like what instincts are exist for this, this year. So I really fought back against that.

And I went outside and I like gave a pep talk to this, like very cute 16 year old teenage boy who was like crying. And I'm like, it's going to be okay. I really don't think he knows what he's talking about. You should act anyway. Don't listen to him. Like, And needless to say, I didn't go back there. And I did end up being an actress. So he can suck it. Shove it. Yeah.

That said, maybe he's, I'm sure he's a great person. And he has his tough love ways. But, you know, I didn't have a great experience in the acting class world. Now I know a lot of people absolutely thrive on that. And there are wonderful places. And I'm sure that's great. I'm not good at it.

Yes, there is. Of course there is. Because my real last name is Litwack. That's all you need to hear. So it's... That's that. That's that. And at nine, I was like, this isn't going to work for me.

I can't see that name.

She slash I was very ahead of her time. I don't know where. I was a CEO situation. I was like, this can't be displayed on a poster. It shan't happen. Um, so I so do you happen to know who Lloyd Alexander is? Who's a child, a children's author who wrote the Black Cauldron, among many others, other classics. So randomly, he was my mother's best friend.

So I went there every week until I was 15 years old. And it was they were like my grandparents, he and his wife. So his wife's name was Janine Denis. She was French and it was D-E-N-N-I. And I thought it would be a super sick idea if I took her name and made it like kind of different. Literally, that was the thinking. That's as far as it went. That's amazing.

But so Dennings is from her and Kat, because my name is Katherine and I have all kinds of nicknames for that. Kat, I chose because Christina Ricci's character

cat in the movie casper was my favorite character at the time so i was like okay cat dennings this is it i can really picture it and that's literally the whole that's it the whole story that's perfect it's actually that segues me to an important question i have for you speaking of look at us headed right back to winwood amazing is it true that your house was haunted you bet

And it probably still is, ma'am.

Listen. Tell me. I'm very, I am, if I don't see it, I don't believe it. I'm a very staunch person. And I saw some, I saw some activity. Did you? Everybody who lived in that house experienced something. Are we talking like footsteps, opening cabinets, flickering lights? Yes, the classics, all the classics and some other ones. So this house was built in 1892.

It was one of the first houses in the area. And it had a plaque. So plenty of time for people to die. So many people died in there. You wouldn't even believe it. It has a plaque on it from the historical society. And every year the historical society would come through the house doing a tour. And I'd be eating like my cornflakes. I'd be like, hello? Good morning.

Like 20 ladies like walking through with like pamphlets looking at our, looking at my like Hanson posters or whatever. It was insane. And so this is a very old house and you're not allowed to change old houses like you can't break down walls or anything. It's like a sacred thing. So There were a lot of like door. We had like a butler door that was like a swinging door.

That door would swing itself, man. That door would swing itself. Lights would go on and off. Things would fall. Things would go missing and turn up other places. Things like that. And then the two craziest ones. And I know it makes me sound insane. And I am. So it's fine. No. I lived on the third floor, which some could call the attic. Some might call it an attic. Uh-huh. Okay.

I had a drum set because I was into that at the time. I was like not eight years old. I was very into the drums. One night, that's right. You guessed it. They were drumming. I heard drums and I was asleep and I was like, huh? And I look up and someone's playing the drums. And I know it sounds insane, but they were drumming. See, the problem is, is that I believe you. You should. It's horrible.

How do you think I feel? So someone was doing it. And look, I had just woken up. Some could argue I hallucinated this, but here's the proof. Okay. The person drumming that I concluded to be like a young boy, because I was convinced the attic was haunted by specifically a young boy. Sticks get dropped. Sticks fly off and go underneath on either side of the room.

There were like storage cabinets with like a small space under the cabinet. Sticks go flying. I'm like, what a weird dream. I'm going to go back to bed. And guess what?

No. Yes. And I always put them on the snare drum. Did you keep sleeping up there? what am I going to, you think my mom was like, Oh, you don't like it anymore. Yeah, no, no. Of course I kept sleeping, but I was terrified.

Oh, I'm happy to help, whatever it is.

I try. I try to support them and my local rescues or any rescue that reaches out that needs exposure and stuff. Yeah.

Exqueeze me? What is he doing? He's trying everything now.

Okay. So he does like cats. He has an appreciation for Flash. Here's the other thing I like to tell people is that everyone wants a kitten and myself included. Everyone wants a kitten. They're so cute. However, I want to visit them. Right. And they're only kittens for a very short time. And then they're cats. So you might be better off with your husband to maybe take him. How could he resist?

Man, he can't. Take him in to maybe meet a cat who's a little older, who's already really feisty. And he might toss a couple of things, watch that cat fly for it, and he'll fall in love. Consider an older cat. That's what I would recommend because then the personality is already sort of established. Established. Yeah. Right. You're not getting a variable. Right.

Because with kittens, it really depends on how they're raised and the environment that will say a lot about... This is so helpful. Because for me, all of my cats have been very anxious. Yes.

So I would say maybe a cat who's over a year old, two, three, four, five. You know, just like he'll fall in love. It will not be possible. You need to take him in and meet some cats.

Oh, you're bad. You are evil.

That's brilliant. What I thought you were going to do is have them fall in love with the cat at the place and then incessantly ask him and beg him for it. Now, this is even more amazing. You should do that.

What's he going to do about it?

Yeah.

I will be your cat doula. I will figure this out for you. And I can also mediate the experience between you and your husband. I'll be like, listen, it's me. I've brought this cat into your home. And you can direct all complaints to this email address. It'll be fake. And then you'll just be out of the light of fire.

And he'll be so annoyed that his emails keep coming back from my fake cat email address that he'll already be over it.

This is great.

Anytime. Anytime.

That's true. And you know what? I wouldn't have had it any other way. This is a joy and a pleasure. And thank you for having me.

Don't worry about it. Small stuff. Thank you so much for coming on. I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. This was really so much fun.

I'm so excited to be here.

Yes, this is what I said before we rolled that I was really excited to talk to you about because we're both narbs. We're Narberth babes.

That's right.

Wynwood, but my best friend from childhood, whose name is Avi, and anyone who lives in Narberth now knows Avi – Do you know Avi? What's Avi's last name? Fox. Do you know Avi Fox? You must. Did she babysit you?

This is great publicity for Avi's photography business. I'm so happy. That is crazy. She's really amazing. Yeah.

Yeah.

So I was in NARB every day. Or every other day. I mean, you know, we were best friends and I would just go over there and I still talk. I mean, obviously she and I still talk, but like I still talk to her next door neighbor like on Instagram and my dance teacher from Dance Express. Shout out Dance Express. Miss Kathy.

Yeah, I was a big disappointment. And I'm not gonna lie. I sucked. But I had a good time.

Really, I took a couple of those classes. Did you? In like Paoli or something. It's a good time. It's fun. I don't know. We had fun. I can't believe that I'm saying this because it's such an old memory. But like my like third Irish dance class, I drank out of someone else's water by accident and I never went back.