Kate Hudson

I don't know how I've been able to do it, but it's like, we just do it.

I don't know how I've been able to do it, but it's like, we just do it.

I just like jump in the deep end of everything. So it's sort of like, I mean, the best thing was that I, in a time that could have been probably not very grounded, I've always sought home. I've always sought, I like my cozy, you know, I'm a homebody. And I've always wanted a big family. I've always wanted to work hard and have a big, fun, crazy life. But like, you know, I like to be home.

I just like jump in the deep end of everything. So it's sort of like, I mean, the best thing was that I, in a time that could have been probably not very grounded, I've always sought home. I've always sought, I like my cozy, you know, I'm a homebody. And I've always wanted a big family. I've always wanted to work hard and have a big, fun, crazy life. But like, you know, I like to be home.

And so even when I was young, I longed for that family connection. I grew up like that. And so when I met Chris, it's like when my career was taking off, it was also a time that could have been a whirlwind. And instead, I was in this very grounding, loving relationship.

And so even when I was young, I longed for that family connection. I grew up like that. And so when I met Chris, it's like when my career was taking off, it was also a time that could have been a whirlwind. And instead, I was in this very grounding, loving relationship.

No. You know, the thing is like, I, I, I don't know if it has something, it just, I guess it's just a, it's an attachment thing, I guess. It's like how we attach to pain or why something isn't working or what the expectation is of what you wanted from the relationship. And then that expectation letting you down. Um, and then people suffer because they've sort of

No. You know, the thing is like, I, I, I don't know if it has something, it just, I guess it's just a, it's an attachment thing, I guess. It's like how we attach to pain or why something isn't working or what the expectation is of what you wanted from the relationship. And then that expectation letting you down. Um, and then people suffer because they've sort of

put such an expectation on what something's supposed to look like versus my choice through life is just like opening, being more open. And like, and that doesn't mean that it's without pain and sadness and working through stuff and reflecting and taking accountability, but like And I'll come back to the accountability part because I think that's the most important thing.

put such an expectation on what something's supposed to look like versus my choice through life is just like opening, being more open. And like, and that doesn't mean that it's without pain and sadness and working through stuff and reflecting and taking accountability, but like And I'll come back to the accountability part because I think that's the most important thing.

But at the end of the day, I believe you love someone. If you love them once, you really love them in some way forever. Even if you can't stand them, if you really loved them, if it was pure, if it wasn't like coming from some place unhealthy, you'll love them forever. through anything, you know, maybe not romantically, but that will always, always be there.

But at the end of the day, I believe you love someone. If you love them once, you really love them in some way forever. Even if you can't stand them, if you really loved them, if it was pure, if it wasn't like coming from some place unhealthy, you'll love them forever. through anything, you know, maybe not romantically, but that will always, always be there.

hi hi kate hudson excuse me if i have like these like disgusting cough episodes oh are you sick i am no i am i had that lingering like three week uh-huh you came here to get me sick if you get sick it wasn't me it was you i am not contagious you came here to like fuck this bitch i'm gonna get her really sick and leave and give her no tea no it's gonna be great

hi hi kate hudson excuse me if i have like these like disgusting cough episodes oh are you sick i am no i am i had that lingering like three week uh-huh you came here to get me sick if you get sick it wasn't me it was you i am not contagious you came here to like fuck this bitch i'm gonna get her really sick and leave and give her no tea no it's gonna be great

And I, and I do believe that like it shifts just like friendships shift, you know, my best friendships have gone through times where we are like, don't talk 40 times a day to not seeing each other for a year. But there's a, but there's always that kind of foundation. I believe that with great loves of your life. And I, I,

And I, and I do believe that like it shifts just like friendships shift, you know, my best friendships have gone through times where we are like, don't talk 40 times a day to not seeing each other for a year. But there's a, but there's always that kind of foundation. I believe that with great loves of your life. And I, I,

There was no, oh, you're gonna be a movie star and then you can be a rock star. It's like, no, stay in one lane. Everyone tells you to stay in one lane. Don't break what's not broken. So I kind of had this thing was like the one thing I loved the most was going to take a was just going to take a backseat.

There was no, oh, you're gonna be a movie star and then you can be a rock star. It's like, no, stay in one lane. Everyone tells you to stay in one lane. Don't break what's not broken. So I kind of had this thing was like the one thing I loved the most was going to take a was just going to take a backseat.

will always, even in the hardest times, be able to see the people that I've been with and that I've shared intimacy with.

will always, even in the hardest times, be able to see the people that I've been with and that I've shared intimacy with.

in a loving way I also I also believe that that's a choice like I choose to do that you know I I I do that because I think it's more peaceful for me um which makes it more peaceful for my children but I think that the the biggest thing about relationships and you know when they when they when they end, is like how you're being accountable.

in a loving way I also I also believe that that's a choice like I choose to do that you know I I I do that because I think it's more peaceful for me um which makes it more peaceful for my children but I think that the the biggest thing about relationships and you know when they when they when they end, is like how you're being accountable.

And I think most people hold on to all the shit when they're not taking accountability for their own thing. You know, it's like, it doesn't matter. There's always two people in the relationship. So you can't just point a finger out. You always have to look back and, you know... the old one finger and three pointed back at you.

And I think most people hold on to all the shit when they're not taking accountability for their own thing. You know, it's like, it doesn't matter. There's always two people in the relationship. So you can't just point a finger out. You always have to look back and, you know... the old one finger and three pointed back at you.

And that's why that Gautier song was so, it was so like, it hit a nerve for everybody. Yes. Somebody that I used to know. You're like, God, why didn't I write that? You know, but like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough.

And that's why that Gautier song was so, it was so like, it hit a nerve for everybody. Yes. Somebody that I used to know. You're like, God, why didn't I write that? You know, but like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough.

I had a friend who said something really, really great, which is like, you know, when you're in something and you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of like a DNA strand. Like, You know, people say it's like a roller coaster, but it's more like when you're with someone for a long time, it's like it's like it circulates, you know, moves.

I had a friend who said something really, really great, which is like, you know, when you're in something and you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of like a DNA strand. Like, You know, people say it's like a roller coaster, but it's more like when you're with someone for a long time, it's like it's like it circulates, you know, moves.

And I thought that was a very kind of a beautiful image for a long term intimate relationship. And as it's shifting, when you start to feel yourself off balance, like it's much easier for us. to go out, to externalize it and go, I'm not getting this or I'm not receiving that. This is what that would look like over here and what if I had this over there?

And I thought that was a very kind of a beautiful image for a long term intimate relationship. And as it's shifting, when you start to feel yourself off balance, like it's much easier for us. to go out, to externalize it and go, I'm not getting this or I'm not receiving that. This is what that would look like over here and what if I had this over there?

And what I believe happens as you get older or healthier, maybe not an age thing, but like is when you go internal, that issue or that wave or that cycle, it starts to move differently. You're not seeking anything externally. You're only really looking at it internally, which can only in turn really make the relationship more intimate and honestly more, you know,

And what I believe happens as you get older or healthier, maybe not an age thing, but like is when you go internal, that issue or that wave or that cycle, it starts to move differently. You're not seeking anything externally. You're only really looking at it internally, which can only in turn really make the relationship more intimate and honestly more, you know,

And so my dream was like, OK, well, I can do musicals and then maybe that's how I incorporate music into my life. And

And so my dream was like, OK, well, I can do musicals and then maybe that's how I incorporate music into my life. And

I would say connect connective because you're not seeking it from somewhere else. And then if you get to that place where you're like, I don't know if I can do this anymore.

I would say connect connective because you're not seeking it from somewhere else. And then if you get to that place where you're like, I don't know if I can do this anymore.

No, no one can do anything to you other than like, I mean, unless you're in like a very, very scary.

No, no one can do anything to you other than like, I mean, unless you're in like a very, very scary.

Yeah, and, like, look, you know, everybody holds their own wild card, right? And, like, sometimes that wild card works for some people and it really doesn't for others. And if you're holding two completely different wild cards, it can get fucking really tumultuous and wild. But if you're holding the same wild card, you know, if someone is like, hey, here's the deal. I want an open relationship.

Yeah, and, like, look, you know, everybody holds their own wild card, right? And, like, sometimes that wild card works for some people and it really doesn't for others. And if you're holding two completely different wild cards, it can get fucking really tumultuous and wild. But if you're holding the same wild card, you know, if someone is like, hey, here's the deal. I want an open relationship.

then I you know it just time gets away from you and you know kids and things and COVID happened and I'm like I'm sitting on hundreds and hundreds of songs that I've never like I'm so scared to put that out but but why yeah and so I had to kind of tackle that and then I was just like fuck it if I don't do it then I will be on my deathbed and it will be a great regret of mine so

then I you know it just time gets away from you and you know kids and things and COVID happened and I'm like I'm sitting on hundreds and hundreds of songs that I've never like I'm so scared to put that out but but why yeah and so I had to kind of tackle that and then I was just like fuck it if I don't do it then I will be on my deathbed and it will be a great regret of mine so

I could never be faithful to you. I'd be like, oh, my God, thank you for saying that. I can't be with you. Right. But, like... I have so much respect for your honesty. But if you're like, this person told me he couldn't be faithful to me, but I decided to be with this person anyway. And now we're in this tumultual relationship and I'm miserable.

I could never be faithful to you. I'd be like, oh, my God, thank you for saying that. I can't be with you. Right. But, like... I have so much respect for your honesty. But if you're like, this person told me he couldn't be faithful to me, but I decided to be with this person anyway. And now we're in this tumultual relationship and I'm miserable.

I'd be like, if I was my own girlfriend, I'd be like, babe, this is more about you than it is about him. Like he told you. He was honest. He was honest. And you still rode the wave. Yeah. You're holding different wild cards. If you were like, great, then I'm going to do the same. And then you guys would have a, I mean, you'd be, you know.

I'd be like, if I was my own girlfriend, I'd be like, babe, this is more about you than it is about him. Like he told you. He was honest. He was honest. And you still rode the wave. Yeah. You're holding different wild cards. If you were like, great, then I'm going to do the same. And then you guys would have a, I mean, you'd be, you know.

And also, you know, a lot of people I think find themselves in relationships where People feel insecure and they want to put people down and you take it. And at some point, I think a lot of women I know have been in this situation. At some point, you know, you can point your finger out at them, but you can, somewhat you're like, why am I...

And also, you know, a lot of people I think find themselves in relationships where People feel insecure and they want to put people down and you take it. And at some point, I think a lot of women I know have been in this situation. At some point, you know, you can point your finger out at them, but you can, somewhat you're like, why am I...

accepting this right like why am I here yeah yeah and and it kind of feeds that like you know push pull thing that a lot of people get very like toxically into love but no I used to love it I was like oh my god I'm alive I was like Kate I'm alive and now if I like would meet someone at that point in my life I think when I got to like

accepting this right like why am I here yeah yeah and and it kind of feeds that like you know push pull thing that a lot of people get very like toxically into love but no I used to love it I was like oh my god I'm alive I was like Kate I'm alive and now if I like would meet someone at that point in my life I think when I got to like

Oh, done. Out. See you later. Weird. So weird. What about two years? Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I doing that's making you feel insecure? And by the way, you can go into my phone anytime. You don't need to look at that. Like if I'm with someone for two years, I'm not one of those people that's like. Why are you looking in my phone? It's like, what's my, like, here's my phone.

Oh, done. Out. See you later. Weird. So weird. What about two years? Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I doing that's making you feel insecure? And by the way, you can go into my phone anytime. You don't need to look at that. Like if I'm with someone for two years, I'm not one of those people that's like. Why are you looking in my phone? It's like, what's my, like, here's my phone.

I don't, I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel like I need, you know. Yeah. Have you ever caught someone going through your phone? Oh, yeah. Emails. Emails.

I don't, I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel like I need, you know. Yeah. Have you ever caught someone going through your phone? Oh, yeah. Emails. Emails.

how did you find out i could tell where there was like logins you know it was like stupid you know it was like stupid yeah which also is like bye oh like you gotta be smarter like you almost get like the ick because you're like wait like i it would have been like cooler if you were like so sly yeah but you're but you're i'm getting a notification yeah it's like what are you doing no clearly someone's on my yeah

how did you find out i could tell where there was like logins you know it was like stupid you know it was like stupid yeah which also is like bye oh like you gotta be smarter like you almost get like the ick because you're like wait like i it would have been like cooler if you were like so sly yeah but you're but you're i'm getting a notification yeah it's like what are you doing no clearly someone's on my yeah

especially with shady guys, like full on. How do you get in? Oh, girls, any girl who says I would never is a liar.

especially with shady guys, like full on. How do you get in? Oh, girls, any girl who says I would never is a liar.

I mean, at some point in your life, a girl's been like, hmm. No, I'm going to – no. Yeah. Something's up. It's one thing if something's not up, then you should feel – It's just a random Sunday. Then you're like, okay, you have trust issues. You got to figure that out. Yeah.

I mean, at some point in your life, a girl's been like, hmm. No, I'm going to – no. Yeah. Something's up. It's one thing if something's not up, then you should feel – It's just a random Sunday. Then you're like, okay, you have trust issues. You got to figure that out. Yeah.

It's one thing if like the guy is being fully shady and not telling you the truth and you're like, no, I need some concrete evidence. Don't CIA. I'm going to figure this out. Then you get it and then – Yeah. I mean, please. Yes.

It's one thing if like the guy is being fully shady and not telling you the truth and you're like, no, I need some concrete evidence. Don't CIA. I'm going to figure this out. Then you get it and then – Yeah. I mean, please. Yes.

It doesn't matter. You're out of my life. So what are we talking about? Yeah. Thank God. Because now I'm never going to see you again. Like that's great. But I'm really like I I'm like you would have to be doing something crazy, really shitty. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no. Like you wouldn't care. You're telling me one thing and doing another. And I'm not going to do that.

It doesn't matter. You're out of my life. So what are we talking about? Yeah. Thank God. Because now I'm never going to see you again. Like that's great. But I'm really like I I'm like you would have to be doing something crazy, really shitty. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no. Like you wouldn't care. You're telling me one thing and doing another. And I'm not going to do that.

So I'm going to find out. And then I also did do the thing, too, which is fun where you just lie. Yeah. Where you're just like, no, I read it. I read it. I read this.

So I'm going to find out. And then I also did do the thing, too, which is fun where you just lie. Yeah. Where you're just like, no, I read it. I read it. I read this.

Period.

Period.

It's like, guys, we're going to strategize this, and by the end of it, you're going to be sweating bullets, and I'm going to leave you.

It's like, guys, we're going to strategize this, and by the end of it, you're going to be sweating bullets, and I'm going to leave you.

I know. Guys are so funny. I love guys so much because they're quite – They're very simple. Not that they're not complex. But the foundation of how men work isn't that challenging. It's not. They're super straightforward. True. I think we expect them to be more complicated.

I know. Guys are so funny. I love guys so much because they're quite – They're very simple. Not that they're not complex. But the foundation of how men work isn't that challenging. It's not. They're super straightforward. True. I think we expect them to be more complicated.

It's funny because I'm not like I don't I don't. That's been part of my hesitation is I don't see the instrument as like a technician. I think there's certain technicians of the instrument that are fucking brilliant. And you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they can hit certain notes and things. I never saw myself as a technician of the instrument.

It's funny because I'm not like I don't I don't. That's been part of my hesitation is I don't see the instrument as like a technician. I think there's certain technicians of the instrument that are fucking brilliant. And you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they can hit certain notes and things. I never saw myself as a technician of the instrument.

Or yeah. Or like if there's like three burner phones, like there's a problem. You know what I mean? It's going to get weird at some point. Like if you see a burner phone and a Dob kit, just run. It's not going to be a good ending. Right. Which has happened to a couple of friends of mine where I'm like, no. What do you do if you see this? And I'm like, oh, my God, babe. Run.

Or yeah. Or like if there's like three burner phones, like there's a problem. You know what I mean? It's going to get weird at some point. Like if you see a burner phone and a Dob kit, just run. It's not going to be a good ending. Right. Which has happened to a couple of friends of mine where I'm like, no. What do you do if you see this? And I'm like, oh, my God, babe. Run.

Well, first look on it because I would love to know. We need the thrill. You've got to know. We've got to have something to talk about over dinner. Right. Or like take it. Just steal it. Just like take the phone and then never talk to him again.

Well, first look on it because I would love to know. We need the thrill. You've got to know. We've got to have something to talk about over dinner. Right. Or like take it. Just steal it. Just like take the phone and then never talk to him again.

How old are you? 29. OK, so you're like, see, I'm in the age where everyone's married. OK. And we live vicariously through our late 20s, like we're early 30s friends. Yeah. Where we're like, oh, let me tell you the story. Now we're all like, you know, like it's like we're in the care. Are you are you is is is your husband going to go to the funeral? four-year-old's birthday party?

How old are you? 29. OK, so you're like, see, I'm in the age where everyone's married. OK. And we live vicariously through our late 20s, like we're early 30s friends. Yeah. Where we're like, oh, let me tell you the story. Now we're all like, you know, like it's like we're in the care. Are you are you is is is your husband going to go to the funeral? four-year-old's birthday party?

Are the girls going to this birthday? How many fucking birthday parties are there this weekend? What are we doing? Are we just staying home? It's just very normal. Now we're in the... You're in the normal. We're in the raising kids phase, which is just like soccer games, baseball games, birthday parties. There's no like there's no burner phone. No, no. And that's no. Yeah.

Are the girls going to this birthday? How many fucking birthday parties are there this weekend? What are we doing? Are we just staying home? It's just very normal. Now we're in the... You're in the normal. We're in the raising kids phase, which is just like soccer games, baseball games, birthday parties. There's no like there's no burner phone. No, no. And that's no. Yeah.

Sometimes we want a little burner phone. I have a friend who has someone with a burner phone.

Sometimes we want a little burner phone. I have a friend who has someone with a burner phone.

It's hard.

It's hard.

You have friends who are more dramatic than others. And we all have to, like, let each other go through it. True. I just don't like when people, like, we know when it turns and it's unhealthy that we need to, like, rally around our friends. True. Like, if something is not right and they're kind of stuck in a really unhealthy. Yeah. And it's, like, not funny anymore.

You have friends who are more dramatic than others. And we all have to, like, let each other go through it. True. I just don't like when people, like, we know when it turns and it's unhealthy that we need to, like, rally around our friends. True. Like, if something is not right and they're kind of stuck in a really unhealthy. Yeah. And it's, like, not funny anymore.

Yeah. Then you're like, okay, you know what? What's going on?

Yeah. Then you're like, okay, you know what? What's going on?

Can't help.

Can't help.

For me, personally.

For me, personally.

If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh, this is family, and we have to, like, bring her all in, you know? And my other thing is, like, if I'm going to have dinner with her and then you're going to go have lunch with her, we're good. If we're all besties, like, my best friend was my ex's ex-girlfriend. Hold on. Well, it's not as complicated as it sounds.

If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh, this is family, and we have to, like, bring her all in, you know? And my other thing is, like, if I'm going to have dinner with her and then you're going to go have lunch with her, we're good. If we're all besties, like, my best friend was my ex's ex-girlfriend. Hold on. Well, it's not as complicated as it sounds.

Basically, I met my best friend through my ex-husband who used to date her. Oh, fascinating. So when I was married to him, I met her. We became best friends. Got it. And that was his ex. And that was his ex. But we loved each other. There was no like, I'm going to go have dinner or lunch with my ex-girlfriend. You were included. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Basically, I met my best friend through my ex-husband who used to date her. Oh, fascinating. So when I was married to him, I met her. We became best friends. Got it. And that was his ex. And that was his ex. But we loved each other. There was no like, I'm going to go have dinner or lunch with my ex-girlfriend. You were included. Yeah. Oh yeah.

And, and she'd rather be with me than hang out with him. So like that makes sense to me.

And, and she'd rather be with me than hang out with him. So like that makes sense to me.

So like when I'm writing music, I write for my voice or I write what I'm feeling. So that always for me was like, oh, you know, if I can't hit that note, then...

So like when I'm writing music, I write for my voice or I write what I'm feeling. So that always for me was like, oh, you know, if I can't hit that note, then...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I mean... It's tough. That's a tough one. Because I think it would be like... You know, it also depends on if you like, is she kind of into him? Right. That's fair. You can kind of feel when it's right or when it isn't.

I mean... It's tough. That's a tough one. Because I think it would be like... You know, it also depends on if you like, is she kind of into him? Right. That's fair. You can kind of feel when it's right or when it isn't.

You're not friends with this girl. You have mutual friend groups. Okay. Mutual friend groups that, you know, run into each other here and there at a party. Oh, hey, nice to see you. Like, oh, good. She breaks up with her boyfriend. Okay. I don't know. Whenever, six months, a year later, you end up with the boyfriend. The boyfriend. Does she have a right to be mad at you?

You're not friends with this girl. You have mutual friend groups. Okay. Mutual friend groups that, you know, run into each other here and there at a party. Oh, hey, nice to see you. Like, oh, good. She breaks up with her boyfriend. Okay. I don't know. Whenever, six months, a year later, you end up with the boyfriend. The boyfriend. Does she have a right to be mad at you?

She's around. Like, maybe you share a friend.

She's around. Like, maybe you share a friend.

Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people who would say otherwise. And I'm like, that's crazy.

Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people who would say otherwise. And I'm like, that's crazy.

First of all, twice a day. I mean, it'd be one thing if it's like four times a day. Right. You'd be like, this is... Like, we're exhausted. And, like, this is, like, kind of weird because, like, what happens when I have to, like, leave for a week? True. Like, is this, like... Like, is this something you need every day regardless of whether I'm here or not?

First of all, twice a day. I mean, it'd be one thing if it's like four times a day. Right. You'd be like, this is... Like, we're exhausted. And, like, this is, like, kind of weird because, like, what happens when I have to, like, leave for a week? True. Like, is this, like... Like, is this something you need every day regardless of whether I'm here or not?

And it also depends on, I mean, his age because it would sort of determine whether or not he was... Just going through it. Yeah. Or like if he was young, like that would make sense. If he's like 40 something, men's libidos kind of go down at late 20s. Right. So he's like a sex addict. So like if his libido is that high, it's like, what are you on? Literally.

And it also depends on, I mean, his age because it would sort of determine whether or not he was... Just going through it. Yeah. Or like if he was young, like that would make sense. If he's like 40 something, men's libidos kind of go down at late 20s. Right. So he's like a sex addict. So like if his libido is that high, it's like, what are you on? Literally.

It's like I always I always say it's about women, especially as women get older. There's sort of this concept around women that. They should become less sexual as they get older. But the reality is, is that women as we get older, our libidos get more intensified to a certain age than men's. So it's sort of like this.

It's like I always I always say it's about women, especially as women get older. There's sort of this concept around women that. They should become less sexual as they get older. But the reality is, is that women as we get older, our libidos get more intensified to a certain age than men's. So it's sort of like this.

made up thing right that women as we get older are supposed to be right like died out like we're not even having sex we're not sexual yeah when it's it's literally the the opposite yeah so somewhere down the line men didn't really want women to be very sexy as they got older right I think so they kind of made it so like oh no like

made up thing right that women as we get older are supposed to be right like died out like we're not even having sex we're not sexual yeah when it's it's literally the the opposite yeah so somewhere down the line men didn't really want women to be very sexy as they got older right I think so they kind of made it so like oh no like

If you're no longer, you know, mating for us, then you should just go over here. So true. When in reality, it's like women into their 40s, sometimes 50s are like very much. Sexual. Yeah.

If you're no longer, you know, mating for us, then you should just go over here. So true. When in reality, it's like women into their 40s, sometimes 50s are like very much. Sexual. Yeah.

Yeah. Where did you, where did I say that? Yeah. I took like a full year off. You did it? It was, I was like, what? I couldn't flirt. No, yeah, none of it. But it was great. How old were you when you did this? 30 something. I just, I was like at that place where I was like, I don't want to keep repeating any patterns anymore.

Yeah. Where did you, where did I say that? Yeah. I took like a full year off. You did it? It was, I was like, what? I couldn't flirt. No, yeah, none of it. But it was great. How old were you when you did this? 30 something. I just, I was like at that place where I was like, I don't want to keep repeating any patterns anymore.

I have a great therapist who was like, I'm, I can help you, but you have to like do it.

I have a great therapist who was like, I'm, I can help you, but you have to like do it.

And well, my thing is I always get distracted, you know. Right. You like to flirt.

And well, my thing is I always get distracted, you know. Right. You like to flirt.

You said you love boys. I just love the, I love the, you know, like, ooh, this is fun. I'm going to touch this person. But it was really interesting because. He took me like basically I was like, OK, well, I guess I'm I can't even text guys. You couldn't flirt. If a guy came up to you, you're like just not interested. Yeah.

You said you love boys. I just love the, I love the, you know, like, ooh, this is fun. I'm going to touch this person. But it was really interesting because. He took me like basically I was like, OK, well, I guess I'm I can't even text guys. You couldn't flirt. If a guy came up to you, you're like just not interested. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, I love, Oh my God. I love, I think it's a, I think it's a, I love Romeo so much. It's a good vibe. Romeo. It makes me happy. That song just is like, I just want to like put it on in the car in the summer. Yes. I love that. That's the one you mentioned.

I'm like, yeah, I love, Oh my God. I love, I think it's a, I think it's a, I love Romeo so much. It's a good vibe. Romeo. It makes me happy. That song just is like, I just want to like put it on in the car in the summer. Yes. I love that. That's the one you mentioned.

I mean, I could talk to them, but I was like, there's no I couldn't give them my number. So I'd be like, they're like, have your number. I'd be like, you know, no, no.

I mean, I could talk to them, but I was like, there's no I couldn't give them my number. So I'd be like, they're like, have your number. I'd be like, you know, no, no.

No, I'm not. I'm not there right now. But it was strangely empowering because it got very uncomfortable for me in the beginning, like the first couple months. I was like... You know, my mojo was like... I was just like, oh, God. I was like, you know... You know, just felt like I hadn't... I was like, what am I doing? I'm not like... Not me. Yeah, it's just... It's not fun, you know?

No, I'm not. I'm not there right now. But it was strangely empowering because it got very uncomfortable for me in the beginning, like the first couple months. I was like... You know, my mojo was like... I was just like, oh, God. I was like, you know... You know, just felt like I hadn't... I was like, what am I doing? I'm not like... Not me. Yeah, it's just... It's not fun, you know?

And so I was like, well... And then because we were going through very specific type of therapy, it was really about like figuring out certain things that were happening with me. And then I had this one sort of breakthrough that was very emotional that I don't think I would have been able to access if I had any distraction.

And so I was like, well... And then because we were going through very specific type of therapy, it was really about like figuring out certain things that were happening with me. And then I had this one sort of breakthrough that was very emotional that I don't think I would have been able to access if I had any distraction.

it allowed me to see things much more clearly. And then within six months, I was like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't care about like, if I was going to go out and meet my girlfriends, I wasn't like, that thing where I'm like, oh, I wonder if so-and-so would be there or like, ooh, we should maybe call up so-and-so and then do that.

it allowed me to see things much more clearly. And then within six months, I was like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't care about like, if I was going to go out and meet my girlfriends, I wasn't like, that thing where I'm like, oh, I wonder if so-and-so would be there or like, ooh, we should maybe call up so-and-so and then do that.

There was no desire for me to be doing anything that had anything to do with potential you know, flirtation. Right. So, um, then when I was in with, you know, doing that and I remember my therapist a year later was like, okay, you can, I think you can flirt again. I was like, what? I can flirt? And he's like, yeah. I was like, How do I flirt? I like forgot.

There was no desire for me to be doing anything that had anything to do with potential you know, flirtation. Right. So, um, then when I was in with, you know, doing that and I remember my therapist a year later was like, okay, you can, I think you can flirt again. I was like, what? I can flirt? And he's like, yeah. I was like, How do I flirt? I like forgot.

And then I remember like all these guys would start texting and I'd be like, I didn't have the same attachment to it anymore. It just, it just went away. It was like, I didn't get that. Like, Ooh, you know, I, I was just like, Oh, No, no, it just didn't have the same, like, pull. Interesting. It sort of became... And then the guys that I would normally have been like, ooh, was like, mm, nope.

And then I remember like all these guys would start texting and I'd be like, I didn't have the same attachment to it anymore. It just, it just went away. It was like, I didn't get that. Like, Ooh, you know, I, I was just like, Oh, No, no, it just didn't have the same, like, pull. Interesting. It sort of became... And then the guys that I would normally have been like, ooh, was like, mm, nope.

That's incredible.

That's incredible.

So you lasted the year. Oh, yeah, I'm very disciplined. Damn. Yeah, yeah. It was good. One year. One year and... Yeah. It's pretty incredible. I didn't know I was longer because then I was so happy single. I was single for like three and a half years.

So you lasted the year. Oh, yeah, I'm very disciplined. Damn. Yeah, yeah. It was good. One year. One year and... Yeah. It's pretty incredible. I didn't know I was longer because then I was so happy single. I was single for like three and a half years.

I love it.

I love it.

You're like, and I don't think if I would have done that, if I would have, if I didn't do that, I would never have ended up with Danny, you know?

You're like, and I don't think if I would have done that, if I would have, if I didn't do that, I would never have ended up with Danny, you know?

Yeah. Because Danny, like, He's just such a good man, and I'm not so sure I was attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men, but the uncomplicated kind of... I liked a feisty, wild type, and... Whereas Danny has that in him. His values are very sturdy. And he's such a lovely person.

Yeah. Because Danny, like, He's just such a good man, and I'm not so sure I was attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men, but the uncomplicated kind of... I liked a feisty, wild type, and... Whereas Danny has that in him. His values are very sturdy. And he's such a lovely person.

And I would have never, I think, allowed that in if I didn't take those three years of just being so happy in my life alone.

And I would have never, I think, allowed that in if I didn't take those three years of just being so happy in my life alone.

If I find someone, there's this really funny, like I, I'm, I'm, I see, I of course get fed all these like Aries memes. Um, and there's this one where they're like, I'm an Aries. Of course I did it at like, and there was one person who goes, I'm an Aries.

If I find someone, there's this really funny, like I, I'm, I'm, I see, I of course get fed all these like Aries memes. Um, and there's this one where they're like, I'm an Aries. Of course I did it at like, and there was one person who goes, I'm an Aries.

I was like I'm an Aries like of course I love to be in relationships and then he's like you like me back like and just rant runs in the other direction I think there's a little bit of like the Aries thing which is like we like newness yeah venture you know, like, excitement.

I was like I'm an Aries like of course I love to be in relationships and then he's like you like me back like and just rant runs in the other direction I think there's a little bit of like the Aries thing which is like we like newness yeah venture you know, like, excitement.

So, like, the sort of good man, like, solid relationship is, like, Aries, I think, a little bit in our head is, like, a little bit like, hmm, is this gonna, like... is there going to be something that's going to keep this interesting or is this the rest of my life? And I, I think a lot of like fire signs would relate to this.

So, like, the sort of good man, like, solid relationship is, like, Aries, I think, a little bit in our head is, like, a little bit like, hmm, is this gonna, like... is there going to be something that's going to keep this interesting or is this the rest of my life? And I, I think a lot of like fire signs would relate to this.

And so I, so for me that those three years was like, Oh, I'm actually like really love this. I loved being without, um, because I was so happy alone. Like I, the extent that sort of like excitement thing was like, I don't, that's actually not really, you don't need it. What's gonna, you're like, I'm exciting. Yeah. I excite myself. That's right. It's like, I can, I can create my own new newness.

And so I, so for me that those three years was like, Oh, I'm actually like really love this. I loved being without, um, because I was so happy alone. Like I, the extent that sort of like excitement thing was like, I don't, that's actually not really, you don't need it. What's gonna, you're like, I'm exciting. Yeah. I excite myself. That's right. It's like, I can, I can create my own new newness.

I met Danny when I was 23, pregnant with Ryder and Danny was in high school. Yeah. Who made the first move? Danny. Yeah. He was very, very slow, slow burn. So slow. I was like, I was like, this is getting, this is weird. Like, is this, is, is this like a thing or is this like not a thing? You know, he's really cute. He's really great. That's so cute. I know. He's the best.

I met Danny when I was 23, pregnant with Ryder and Danny was in high school. Yeah. Who made the first move? Danny. Yeah. He was very, very slow, slow burn. So slow. I was like, I was like, this is getting, this is weird. Like, is this, is, is this like a thing or is this like not a thing? You know, he's really cute. He's really great. That's so cute. I know. He's the best.

Honestly, like I'm just – it's like I'm so happy.

Honestly, like I'm just – it's like I'm so happy.

I could just like – you know, I really believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have, right? It's like the options are endless. Yeah. When people are like – I can't find anybody, I'm like, you're not looking in the right places. There's somebody for everybody. You have to just be open to it, and you have to let the expectation go.

I could just like – you know, I really believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have, right? It's like the options are endless. Yeah. When people are like – I can't find anybody, I'm like, you're not looking in the right places. There's somebody for everybody. You have to just be open to it, and you have to let the expectation go.

He's not gonna look the way you want him to look, and he might not, all this, this is my vision board. Be comfortable if the person on your vision board is the opposite of who the guy you ended up falling in love with is.

He's not gonna look the way you want him to look, and he might not, all this, this is my vision board. Be comfortable if the person on your vision board is the opposite of who the guy you ended up falling in love with is.

Because I really believe that like part of what stops us from experiencing like great love is that we are shrinking the idea down to something really small and so we're not open to –

Because I really believe that like part of what stops us from experiencing like great love is that we are shrinking the idea down to something really small and so we're not open to –

That's right. But it's good to have vision boards.

That's right. But it's good to have vision boards.

But like, but like be open to something totally different.

But like, but like be open to something totally different.

Oh, this question is so important. I think like, It's so hard because communication. I think in order to be in truly have like independence, you have to be good communicators because everyone's idea of their needs are so different, you know, and I am very independent. The other thing about Danny, he's so like He just like lets me. Be you. Be me. And it's like I could, you know, I could be like.

Oh, this question is so important. I think like, It's so hard because communication. I think in order to be in truly have like independence, you have to be good communicators because everyone's idea of their needs are so different, you know, and I am very independent. The other thing about Danny, he's so like He just like lets me. Be you. Be me. And it's like I could, you know, I could be like.

Progressive parents-ish, progressive-ish parents. Those were things that were always very open. And I think part of why we were never super rebellious was because there was no mystery around those things. So, you know, even like partying, like my parents loved to have a good time. And we grew up seeing them enjoy their life laugh with friends, be, you know, talk about naughty things.

Progressive parents-ish, progressive-ish parents. Those were things that were always very open. And I think part of why we were never super rebellious was because there was no mystery around those things. So, you know, even like partying, like my parents loved to have a good time. And we grew up seeing them enjoy their life laugh with friends, be, you know, talk about naughty things.

I really want to go out with my girlfriends tonight and I really want to be with you. Be like, go babe, go. And I could like be out till four in the morning, end up on some thing and come back and be like, Oh my God, I had the craziest night. I did it. And he's just like totally okay with it. Like in a, in a, in a good way. He loves when I'm happy. And

I really want to go out with my girlfriends tonight and I really want to be with you. Be like, go babe, go. And I could like be out till four in the morning, end up on some thing and come back and be like, Oh my God, I had the craziest night. I did it. And he's just like totally okay with it. Like in a, in a, in a good way. He loves when I'm happy. And

If it's the other way around, I'm like... Why were you out?

If it's the other way around, I'm like... Why were you out?

What were you up to? Four in the morning? What could you have been doing? Whose car did you end up in? No, literally saying. No, but I... But I really... Independence is what works for you. What might work for me doesn't work for him. So in order for me to feel independent, I think you have to communicate what that is. Like...

What were you up to? Four in the morning? What could you have been doing? Whose car did you end up in? No, literally saying. No, but I... But I really... Independence is what works for you. What might work for me doesn't work for him. So in order for me to feel independent, I think you have to communicate what that is. Like...

My thing is I just want to be told, you know, like just tell me that you're, you know, where you are, like tell me what you need and then I'm good. What I don't, I'm, I have a hard time with like not knowing. Right. Right. Some people are fine with not knowing they're much more comfortable with that, secure with it. My thing's like, if you tell me,

My thing is I just want to be told, you know, like just tell me that you're, you know, where you are, like tell me what you need and then I'm good. What I don't, I'm, I have a hard time with like not knowing. Right. Right. Some people are fine with not knowing they're much more comfortable with that, secure with it. My thing's like, if you tell me,

me either, but it's fine. For me, I'm also like, I'm saying this, but I also am very happy to be wrong.

me either, but it's fine. For me, I'm also like, I'm saying this, but I also am very happy to be wrong.

There was no like, I mean, there's two songs on there that I wrote before I started writing with Linda. And then after we got out of the studio writing with Linda Perry, who's a writer on a lot of it, we went back, Dan and I went back and we kind of... um, you know, restructured two other songs that I had written before, but they, they're, it's all like of that time, you know?

There was no like, I mean, there's two songs on there that I wrote before I started writing with Linda. And then after we got out of the studio writing with Linda Perry, who's a writer on a lot of it, we went back, Dan and I went back and we kind of... um, you know, restructured two other songs that I had written before, but they, they're, it's all like of that time, you know?

know Kate more the lyrics will honestly it's like such a it's it's it's like because I waited so long to put something out it was really important that there it was a it was reflective so that there was like for me that it was where I'm at now but that there's a that there's a story of sort of

know Kate more the lyrics will honestly it's like such a it's it's it's like because I waited so long to put something out it was really important that there it was a it was reflective so that there was like for me that it was where I'm at now but that there's a that there's a story of sort of

you know, a life well-loved and whether that be with my son or whether it be in past relationships that didn't work out or where I'm at now in, with my Romeo, which was, which is, you know, and that's just Danny and I wrote that together. And, but like, you know, that kind of the, the freedom in that song, you know? Um, and yeah, I have always been a hopeless romantic.

you know, a life well-loved and whether that be with my son or whether it be in past relationships that didn't work out or where I'm at now in, with my Romeo, which was, which is, you know, and that's just Danny and I wrote that together. And, but like, you know, that kind of the, the freedom in that song, you know? Um, and yeah, I have always been a hopeless romantic.

And I'm gonna take the word hopeless out of it, because I actually feel that there's, I'm a hopeful romantic, you know? It's like, and the hardest songs for me to write are the hopeful ones, and that was so important for me in this, because I'm so, like, my brain loves a depressing song. I mean, if you go into my,

And I'm gonna take the word hopeless out of it, because I actually feel that there's, I'm a hopeful romantic, you know? It's like, and the hardest songs for me to write are the hopeful ones, and that was so important for me in this, because I'm so, like, my brain loves a depressing song. I mean, if you go into my,

vault of music it's just there's so much depressing shit in there it's crazy and it will come out at some point okay good i i really like we need a good cry but like for me with this i wanted it to feel like what the album title is like there's to to to love fully is a glorious experience and it it comes to you in so many different ways and like we're talking about like if you're open to it

vault of music it's just there's so much depressing shit in there it's crazy and it will come out at some point okay good i i really like we need a good cry but like for me with this i wanted it to feel like what the album title is like there's to to to love fully is a glorious experience and it it comes to you in so many different ways and like we're talking about like if you're open to it

then I think you're living a really well loved life. As long as you're a good person, you're treating people respectfully and you're honest.

then I think you're living a really well loved life. As long as you're a good person, you're treating people respectfully and you're honest.

Sometimes overhear things that were like, Hmm, what are they talking about? Um, But this mystery of like connection and why we connect with people was never something that was like hidden that we didn't talk about, you know?

Sometimes overhear things that were like, Hmm, what are they talking about? Um, But this mystery of like connection and why we connect with people was never something that was like hidden that we didn't talk about, you know?

And like gonna find out is like about not wanting a relationship. Right. You know, it's about being in that.

And like gonna find out is like about not wanting a relationship. Right. You know, it's about being in that.

For three years. You know, that's kind of like a song about when you Just want to like when you don't that that like little, you know, like spark that you have with someone where you're just like, is this going to go down? You know.

For three years. You know, that's kind of like a song about when you Just want to like when you don't that that like little, you know, like spark that you have with someone where you're just like, is this going to go down? You know.

I have to go make out with a guy. I have one scene to do today.

I have to go make out with a guy. I have one scene to do today.

I'm making out with a total stranger. What? I've been like really stressing about this.

I'm making out with a total stranger. What? I've been like really stressing about this.

No fuck. I'm not telling him. Wait you have to make out? Like full make out time? I have to like make out with this random guy. How long? I mean, you will see it on Netflix at some point. Stop. Yeah, I don't I don't know. But I've been like having anxiety over it.

No fuck. I'm not telling him. Wait you have to make out? Like full make out time? I have to like make out with this random guy. How long? I mean, you will see it on Netflix at some point. Stop. Yeah, I don't I don't know. But I've been like having anxiety over it.

You just I don't know. I've never. What I do is I'm channeling Emma Stone in in, you know, poor things, poor things, poor things.

You just I don't know. I've never. What I do is I'm channeling Emma Stone in in, you know, poor things, poor things, poor things.

Poor things. If she could do that. You can do this. I can do this.

Poor things. If she could do that. You can do this. I can do this.

I can make out with some random guy. Easy. Yeah.

I can make out with some random guy. Easy. Yeah.

Totally boy crazy. Really?

Totally boy crazy. Really?

Yeah. Boys are fun. I have a good boy right now. I have a really awesome boy, but I mean, I, I, you know, I'm doing this show right now where I play the president of a basketball team. So I'm basically surrounded by men all day. I went home to Danny. I was like, honey, I'm having the time of my life. I love you, and I am very committed, but ugh, I feel so lucky. It's like I was born for this job.

Yeah. Boys are fun. I have a good boy right now. I have a really awesome boy, but I mean, I, I, you know, I'm doing this show right now where I play the president of a basketball team. So I'm basically surrounded by men all day. I went home to Danny. I was like, honey, I'm having the time of my life. I love you, and I am very committed, but ugh, I feel so lucky. It's like I was born for this job.

Stop. But I was very boy crazy. Okay. But I was also very prude. Oh, really? Like love to have fun, love to be flirty, super prude. Really? Yeah. What was your personality in high school? I didn't want to be there.

Stop. But I was very boy crazy. Okay. But I was also very prude. Oh, really? Like love to have fun, love to be flirty, super prude. Really? Yeah. What was your personality in high school? I didn't want to be there.

Because I was like ready to like I was like ready to have my own apartment somewhere in the world. Like I was like in ninth grade, like just someone give me like a martini and a cigarette and like some book on a balcony in Paris. Like. I don't know. I can see it a little bit in my daughter. It's just like I wasn't into the high school party scene. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be singing.

Because I was like ready to like I was like ready to have my own apartment somewhere in the world. Like I was like in ninth grade, like just someone give me like a martini and a cigarette and like some book on a balcony in Paris. Like. I don't know. I can see it a little bit in my daughter. It's just like I wasn't into the high school party scene. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be singing.

I wanted to be like traveling the world. I was like ready. Got it. To me, high school felt like it was holding me back.

I wanted to be like traveling the world. I was like ready. Got it. To me, high school felt like it was holding me back.

And I was like, oh, you're just holding me back. Now I look back at high school and I feel like it was one of the great experiences of my life. But I was definitely the mom of the bunch. Oh, okay. Yeah, like when all my friends were partying, like I was designated driver. Like I would take care of everybody.

And I was like, oh, you're just holding me back. Now I look back at high school and I feel like it was one of the great experiences of my life. But I was definitely the mom of the bunch. Oh, okay. Yeah, like when all my friends were partying, like I was designated driver. Like I would take care of everybody.

Yeah, everybody thinks I'm a total party guy. I was the opposite. So you're always DDing still to this day? Always. Well, I mean, you know, not now, but like back then I was very straight.

Yeah, everybody thinks I'm a total party guy. I was the opposite. So you're always DDing still to this day? Always. Well, I mean, you know, not now, but like back then I was very straight.

Yeah, because... Look, when you're young, if you're confident in something, people don't really like it. So I remember I was like, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was very focused. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be working and doing things. there's a lot of girls who just rolled their eyes at that. Yeah.

Yeah, because... Look, when you're young, if you're confident in something, people don't really like it. So I remember I was like, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was very focused. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be working and doing things. there's a lot of girls who just rolled their eyes at that. Yeah.

And so, yeah, I wouldn't say bullied, but there was a lot of gossipy, like talk behind back type stuff.

And so, yeah, I wouldn't say bullied, but there was a lot of gossipy, like talk behind back type stuff.

And like, you know, I guess like, because I wasn't, I think girls who don't party, you know, I can sometimes get that too. It's like, oh, you're, too good to like get drunk with us. And it's like, no, I actually just don't want to like do a kickstand like on with you right now. Like I don't want to get wasted, but I'm happy to like hold your hair when you're throwing up. I don't.

And like, you know, I guess like, because I wasn't, I think girls who don't party, you know, I can sometimes get that too. It's like, oh, you're, too good to like get drunk with us. And it's like, no, I actually just don't want to like do a kickstand like on with you right now. Like I don't want to get wasted, but I'm happy to like hold your hair when you're throwing up. I don't.

So I was like that girl. And it would, I think sometimes bother girls.

So I was like that girl. And it would, I think sometimes bother girls.

I think these like young like social structure clicky like lord of the flies type like things that happen are actually really important. Um, how you deal with them at school and then how you deal with them at home with your family and like how they're supported, I think are so important. Like I feel like it's good to kind of have a little bit of friction when you're growing up and, um,

I think these like young like social structure clicky like lord of the flies type like things that happen are actually really important. Um, how you deal with them at school and then how you deal with them at home with your family and like how they're supported, I think are so important. Like I feel like it's good to kind of have a little bit of friction when you're growing up and, um,

So, I mean, music's been in my life, my whole life. Okay. Whether it was me or whether it was with like my exes, partners. But yeah, no, I finally was like, you know what, if I don't share it, I'll just regret it. And

So, I mean, music's been in my life, my whole life. Okay. Whether it was me or whether it was with like my exes, partners. But yeah, no, I finally was like, you know what, if I don't share it, I'll just regret it. And

people saying mean things sometimes it's like, Oh, you know, you kind of need a little bit of that to like power through it and to realize like in, in, in retrospect to be able to reflect, look back and go, wow, like I'm so happy that that wasn't who I am and that I had a little bit of that scarring. It's a good point. Get me, get, get you through certain things cause it doesn't get better.

people saying mean things sometimes it's like, Oh, you know, you kind of need a little bit of that to like power through it and to realize like in, in, in retrospect to be able to reflect, look back and go, wow, like I'm so happy that that wasn't who I am and that I had a little bit of that scarring. It's a good point. Get me, get, get you through certain things cause it doesn't get better.

No, it does not. The world is a, I mean, human nature is quite brutal. So, so like, how do we, you know, when those small communities, like you're going to have friction in high school. I mean, what was your friction?

No, it does not. The world is a, I mean, human nature is quite brutal. So, so like, how do we, you know, when those small communities, like you're going to have friction in high school. I mean, what was your friction?

I know. And then you kind of look back too and you're like, oh, and then you had these great, like big, fun, awesome moments. Yes. Sometimes I look, there's certain people too that were just like always wonderful. Like, you know, you kind of, This girl Hillary and Jessica, and I look at these girls and I'm like, God, I wonder what they're doing now.

I know. And then you kind of look back too and you're like, oh, and then you had these great, like big, fun, awesome moments. Yes. Sometimes I look, there's certain people too that were just like always wonderful. Like, you know, you kind of, This girl Hillary and Jessica, and I look at these girls and I'm like, God, I wonder what they're doing now.

They must be the greatest mother of all time because they were so even and they had kind to everybody and helping you organize your own thoughts. Did you get your homework done? You're like, oh yeah, oh shit. So it's like, I don't know, you look back at that little, it's like a microcosm of what

They must be the greatest mother of all time because they were so even and they had kind to everybody and helping you organize your own thoughts. Did you get your homework done? You're like, oh yeah, oh shit. So it's like, I don't know, you look back at that little, it's like a microcosm of what

19.

19.

19. And he was just a, like, you know, not a very nice rock star type, like. I remember thinking, God, he was so mean. And then I met him again at 20, and he wasn't that mean. I must have caught him on a bad night or something. And yeah, I mean, first real love of my life. He was... How soon did you date to then get married? Oh gosh, it was a whirlwind.

19. And he was just a, like, you know, not a very nice rock star type, like. I remember thinking, God, he was so mean. And then I met him again at 20, and he wasn't that mean. I must have caught him on a bad night or something. And yeah, I mean, first real love of my life. He was... How soon did you date to then get married? Oh gosh, it was a whirlwind.

We were engaged in four months and married in nine months. And then like three years, then I wanted to have a baby and we had Ryder. And then it kind of started to do that downward spiral. The classic.

We were engaged in four months and married in nine months. And then like three years, then I wanted to have a baby and we had Ryder. And then it kind of started to do that downward spiral. The classic.

I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries, like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share this? my writing, really. And I think it's because when I grew up, and sort of was young and became well known. And I got famous young, so I was 20 years old. And at that time, you don't switch careers.

I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries, like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share this? my writing, really. And I think it's because when I grew up, and sort of was young and became well known. And I got famous young, so I was 20 years old. And at that time, you don't switch careers.

How did you know you were ready for marriage at 21? There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like I didn't question it for a second.

How did you know you were ready for marriage at 21? There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like I didn't question it for a second.

Yeah. We were so connected. And Chris taught me so much about love and connection. It was just a wonderfully passionate relationship.

Yeah. We were so connected. And Chris taught me so much about love and connection. It was just a wonderfully passionate relationship.

Like, the people I live in let people make mistakes, you know? Okay. So your mom didn't care. She's like... Yeah, and by the way, not a mistake. I look back at my entire... You know, life at this point. And I'm like, I actually feel like I might have gotten it right. You know, like love.

Like, the people I live in let people make mistakes, you know? Okay. So your mom didn't care. She's like... Yeah, and by the way, not a mistake. I look back at my entire... You know, life at this point. And I'm like, I actually feel like I might have gotten it right. You know, like love.

There's this sort of construct that that we're supposed to do it a certain way, which I understand because I really believe in the unit and I think it's what's missing right now.

There's this sort of construct that that we're supposed to do it a certain way, which I understand because I really believe in the unit and I think it's what's missing right now.

But I do believe that a unit can exist differently than this sort of like very kind of religious concept of like marriage and male-female relationship. Like I really believe that a unit can be –

But I do believe that a unit can exist differently than this sort of like very kind of religious concept of like marriage and male-female relationship. Like I really believe that a unit can be –

Even if someone is alone in their life and hasn't met the love of their life, that they could have a best friend, that they live close together and they can raise their children together and like have values inside of that that can be really important for children. So like, you know, for me, having the means and the ability to choose to be more healthy in relationships is,

Even if someone is alone in their life and hasn't met the love of their life, that they could have a best friend, that they live close together and they can raise their children together and like have values inside of that that can be really important for children. So like, you know, for me, having the means and the ability to choose to be more healthy in relationships is,

means that it's kind of been easier for me to exit unhealthy relationships. Interesting. So whereas if I probably didn't have the means, it would be a much more challenging thing. But inside of that, just because you're not supposed to be with someone doesn't mean that you can't create a big, beautiful experience. Totally.

means that it's kind of been easier for me to exit unhealthy relationships. Interesting. So whereas if I probably didn't have the means, it would be a much more challenging thing. But inside of that, just because you're not supposed to be with someone doesn't mean that you can't create a big, beautiful experience. Totally.

I don't know how I've been able to do it, but it's like, we just do it.

I just like jump in the deep end of everything. So it's sort of like, I mean, the best thing was that I, in a time that could have been probably not very grounded, I've always sought home. I've always sought, I like my cozy, you know, I'm a homebody. And I've always wanted a big family. I've always wanted to work hard and have a big, fun, crazy life. But like, you know, I like to be home.

And so even when I was young, I longed for that family connection. I grew up like that. And so when I met Chris, it's like when my career was taking off, it was also a time that could have been a whirlwind. And instead, I was in this very grounding, loving relationship.

No. You know, the thing is like, I, I, I don't know if it has something, it just, I guess it's just a, it's an attachment thing, I guess. It's like how we attach to pain or why something isn't working or what the expectation is of what you wanted from the relationship. And then that expectation letting you down. Um, and then people suffer because they've sort of

put such an expectation on what something's supposed to look like versus my choice through life is just like opening, being more open. And like, and that doesn't mean that it's without pain and sadness and working through stuff and reflecting and taking accountability, but like And I'll come back to the accountability part because I think that's the most important thing.

But at the end of the day, I believe you love someone. If you love them once, you really love them in some way forever. Even if you can't stand them, if you really loved them, if it was pure, if it wasn't like coming from some place unhealthy, you'll love them forever. through anything, you know, maybe not romantically, but that will always, always be there.

hi hi kate hudson excuse me if i have like these like disgusting cough episodes oh are you sick i am no i am i had that lingering like three week uh-huh you came here to get me sick if you get sick it wasn't me it was you i am not contagious you came here to like fuck this bitch i'm gonna get her really sick and leave and give her no tea no it's gonna be great

And I, and I do believe that like it shifts just like friendships shift, you know, my best friendships have gone through times where we are like, don't talk 40 times a day to not seeing each other for a year. But there's a, but there's always that kind of foundation. I believe that with great loves of your life. And I, I,

There was no, oh, you're gonna be a movie star and then you can be a rock star. It's like, no, stay in one lane. Everyone tells you to stay in one lane. Don't break what's not broken. So I kind of had this thing was like the one thing I loved the most was going to take a was just going to take a backseat.

will always, even in the hardest times, be able to see the people that I've been with and that I've shared intimacy with.

in a loving way I also I also believe that that's a choice like I choose to do that you know I I I do that because I think it's more peaceful for me um which makes it more peaceful for my children but I think that the the biggest thing about relationships and you know when they when they when they end, is like how you're being accountable.

And I think most people hold on to all the shit when they're not taking accountability for their own thing. You know, it's like, it doesn't matter. There's always two people in the relationship. So you can't just point a finger out. You always have to look back and, you know... the old one finger and three pointed back at you.

And that's why that Gautier song was so, it was so like, it hit a nerve for everybody. Yes. Somebody that I used to know. You're like, God, why didn't I write that? You know, but like, yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough.

I had a friend who said something really, really great, which is like, you know, when you're in something and you're going through a wave, you know, he was also talking about it kind of like a DNA strand. Like, You know, people say it's like a roller coaster, but it's more like when you're with someone for a long time, it's like it's like it circulates, you know, moves.

And I thought that was a very kind of a beautiful image for a long term intimate relationship. And as it's shifting, when you start to feel yourself off balance, like it's much easier for us. to go out, to externalize it and go, I'm not getting this or I'm not receiving that. This is what that would look like over here and what if I had this over there?

And what I believe happens as you get older or healthier, maybe not an age thing, but like is when you go internal, that issue or that wave or that cycle, it starts to move differently. You're not seeking anything externally. You're only really looking at it internally, which can only in turn really make the relationship more intimate and honestly more, you know,

And so my dream was like, OK, well, I can do musicals and then maybe that's how I incorporate music into my life. And

I would say connect connective because you're not seeking it from somewhere else. And then if you get to that place where you're like, I don't know if I can do this anymore.

No, no one can do anything to you other than like, I mean, unless you're in like a very, very scary.

Yeah, and, like, look, you know, everybody holds their own wild card, right? And, like, sometimes that wild card works for some people and it really doesn't for others. And if you're holding two completely different wild cards, it can get fucking really tumultuous and wild. But if you're holding the same wild card, you know, if someone is like, hey, here's the deal. I want an open relationship.

then I you know it just time gets away from you and you know kids and things and COVID happened and I'm like I'm sitting on hundreds and hundreds of songs that I've never like I'm so scared to put that out but but why yeah and so I had to kind of tackle that and then I was just like fuck it if I don't do it then I will be on my deathbed and it will be a great regret of mine so

I could never be faithful to you. I'd be like, oh, my God, thank you for saying that. I can't be with you. Right. But, like... I have so much respect for your honesty. But if you're like, this person told me he couldn't be faithful to me, but I decided to be with this person anyway. And now we're in this tumultual relationship and I'm miserable.

I'd be like, if I was my own girlfriend, I'd be like, babe, this is more about you than it is about him. Like he told you. He was honest. He was honest. And you still rode the wave. Yeah. You're holding different wild cards. If you were like, great, then I'm going to do the same. And then you guys would have a, I mean, you'd be, you know.

And also, you know, a lot of people I think find themselves in relationships where People feel insecure and they want to put people down and you take it. And at some point, I think a lot of women I know have been in this situation. At some point, you know, you can point your finger out at them, but you can, somewhat you're like, why am I...

accepting this right like why am I here yeah yeah and and it kind of feeds that like you know push pull thing that a lot of people get very like toxically into love but no I used to love it I was like oh my god I'm alive I was like Kate I'm alive and now if I like would meet someone at that point in my life I think when I got to like

Oh, done. Out. See you later. Weird. So weird. What about two years? Then maybe I'd be like, okay, what am I doing that's making you feel insecure? And by the way, you can go into my phone anytime. You don't need to look at that. Like if I'm with someone for two years, I'm not one of those people that's like. Why are you looking in my phone? It's like, what's my, like, here's my phone.

I don't, I wouldn't live with secrecy or feel like I need, you know. Yeah. Have you ever caught someone going through your phone? Oh, yeah. Emails. Emails.

how did you find out i could tell where there was like logins you know it was like stupid you know it was like stupid yeah which also is like bye oh like you gotta be smarter like you almost get like the ick because you're like wait like i it would have been like cooler if you were like so sly yeah but you're but you're i'm getting a notification yeah it's like what are you doing no clearly someone's on my yeah

especially with shady guys, like full on. How do you get in? Oh, girls, any girl who says I would never is a liar.

I mean, at some point in your life, a girl's been like, hmm. No, I'm going to – no. Yeah. Something's up. It's one thing if something's not up, then you should feel – It's just a random Sunday. Then you're like, okay, you have trust issues. You got to figure that out. Yeah.

It's one thing if like the guy is being fully shady and not telling you the truth and you're like, no, I need some concrete evidence. Don't CIA. I'm going to figure this out. Then you get it and then – Yeah. I mean, please. Yes.

It doesn't matter. You're out of my life. So what are we talking about? Yeah. Thank God. Because now I'm never going to see you again. Like that's great. But I'm really like I I'm like you would have to be doing something crazy, really shitty. You know what I mean? Like, oh, no. Like you wouldn't care. You're telling me one thing and doing another. And I'm not going to do that.

So I'm going to find out. And then I also did do the thing, too, which is fun where you just lie. Yeah. Where you're just like, no, I read it. I read it. I read this.

Period.

It's like, guys, we're going to strategize this, and by the end of it, you're going to be sweating bullets, and I'm going to leave you.

I know. Guys are so funny. I love guys so much because they're quite – They're very simple. Not that they're not complex. But the foundation of how men work isn't that challenging. It's not. They're super straightforward. True. I think we expect them to be more complicated.

It's funny because I'm not like I don't I don't. That's been part of my hesitation is I don't see the instrument as like a technician. I think there's certain technicians of the instrument that are fucking brilliant. And you listen to them and you're like, whoa, they can do runs for days and they can hit certain notes and things. I never saw myself as a technician of the instrument.

Or yeah. Or like if there's like three burner phones, like there's a problem. You know what I mean? It's going to get weird at some point. Like if you see a burner phone and a Dob kit, just run. It's not going to be a good ending. Right. Which has happened to a couple of friends of mine where I'm like, no. What do you do if you see this? And I'm like, oh, my God, babe. Run.

Well, first look on it because I would love to know. We need the thrill. You've got to know. We've got to have something to talk about over dinner. Right. Or like take it. Just steal it. Just like take the phone and then never talk to him again.

How old are you? 29. OK, so you're like, see, I'm in the age where everyone's married. OK. And we live vicariously through our late 20s, like we're early 30s friends. Yeah. Where we're like, oh, let me tell you the story. Now we're all like, you know, like it's like we're in the care. Are you are you is is is your husband going to go to the funeral? four-year-old's birthday party?

Are the girls going to this birthday? How many fucking birthday parties are there this weekend? What are we doing? Are we just staying home? It's just very normal. Now we're in the... You're in the normal. We're in the raising kids phase, which is just like soccer games, baseball games, birthday parties. There's no like there's no burner phone. No, no. And that's no. Yeah.

Sometimes we want a little burner phone. I have a friend who has someone with a burner phone.

It's hard.

You have friends who are more dramatic than others. And we all have to, like, let each other go through it. True. I just don't like when people, like, we know when it turns and it's unhealthy that we need to, like, rally around our friends. True. Like, if something is not right and they're kind of stuck in a really unhealthy. Yeah. And it's, like, not funny anymore.

Yeah. Then you're like, okay, you know what? What's going on?

Can't help.

For me, personally.

If they had a kid, I'd be like, oh, this is family, and we have to, like, bring her all in, you know? And my other thing is, like, if I'm going to have dinner with her and then you're going to go have lunch with her, we're good. If we're all besties, like, my best friend was my ex's ex-girlfriend. Hold on. Well, it's not as complicated as it sounds.

Basically, I met my best friend through my ex-husband who used to date her. Oh, fascinating. So when I was married to him, I met her. We became best friends. Got it. And that was his ex. And that was his ex. But we loved each other. There was no like, I'm going to go have dinner or lunch with my ex-girlfriend. You were included. Yeah. Oh yeah.

And, and she'd rather be with me than hang out with him. So like that makes sense to me.

So like when I'm writing music, I write for my voice or I write what I'm feeling. So that always for me was like, oh, you know, if I can't hit that note, then...

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I mean... It's tough. That's a tough one. Because I think it would be like... You know, it also depends on if you like, is she kind of into him? Right. That's fair. You can kind of feel when it's right or when it isn't.

You're not friends with this girl. You have mutual friend groups. Okay. Mutual friend groups that, you know, run into each other here and there at a party. Oh, hey, nice to see you. Like, oh, good. She breaks up with her boyfriend. Okay. I don't know. Whenever, six months, a year later, you end up with the boyfriend. The boyfriend. Does she have a right to be mad at you?

She's around. Like, maybe you share a friend.

Okay. Absolutely not. Yeah. Well, there's a lot of people who would say otherwise. And I'm like, that's crazy.

First of all, twice a day. I mean, it'd be one thing if it's like four times a day. Right. You'd be like, this is... Like, we're exhausted. And, like, this is, like, kind of weird because, like, what happens when I have to, like, leave for a week? True. Like, is this, like... Like, is this something you need every day regardless of whether I'm here or not?

And it also depends on, I mean, his age because it would sort of determine whether or not he was... Just going through it. Yeah. Or like if he was young, like that would make sense. If he's like 40 something, men's libidos kind of go down at late 20s. Right. So he's like a sex addict. So like if his libido is that high, it's like, what are you on? Literally.

It's like I always I always say it's about women, especially as women get older. There's sort of this concept around women that. They should become less sexual as they get older. But the reality is, is that women as we get older, our libidos get more intensified to a certain age than men's. So it's sort of like this.

made up thing right that women as we get older are supposed to be right like died out like we're not even having sex we're not sexual yeah when it's it's literally the the opposite yeah so somewhere down the line men didn't really want women to be very sexy as they got older right I think so they kind of made it so like oh no like

If you're no longer, you know, mating for us, then you should just go over here. So true. When in reality, it's like women into their 40s, sometimes 50s are like very much. Sexual. Yeah.

Yeah. Where did you, where did I say that? Yeah. I took like a full year off. You did it? It was, I was like, what? I couldn't flirt. No, yeah, none of it. But it was great. How old were you when you did this? 30 something. I just, I was like at that place where I was like, I don't want to keep repeating any patterns anymore.

I have a great therapist who was like, I'm, I can help you, but you have to like do it.

And well, my thing is I always get distracted, you know. Right. You like to flirt.

You said you love boys. I just love the, I love the, you know, like, ooh, this is fun. I'm going to touch this person. But it was really interesting because. He took me like basically I was like, OK, well, I guess I'm I can't even text guys. You couldn't flirt. If a guy came up to you, you're like just not interested. Yeah.

I'm like, yeah, I love, Oh my God. I love, I think it's a, I think it's a, I love Romeo so much. It's a good vibe. Romeo. It makes me happy. That song just is like, I just want to like put it on in the car in the summer. Yes. I love that. That's the one you mentioned.

I mean, I could talk to them, but I was like, there's no I couldn't give them my number. So I'd be like, they're like, have your number. I'd be like, you know, no, no.

No, I'm not. I'm not there right now. But it was strangely empowering because it got very uncomfortable for me in the beginning, like the first couple months. I was like... You know, my mojo was like... I was just like, oh, God. I was like, you know... You know, just felt like I hadn't... I was like, what am I doing? I'm not like... Not me. Yeah, it's just... It's not fun, you know?

And so I was like, well... And then because we were going through very specific type of therapy, it was really about like figuring out certain things that were happening with me. And then I had this one sort of breakthrough that was very emotional that I don't think I would have been able to access if I had any distraction.

it allowed me to see things much more clearly. And then within six months, I was like, I didn't care about my phone. I didn't care about like, if I was going to go out and meet my girlfriends, I wasn't like, that thing where I'm like, oh, I wonder if so-and-so would be there or like, ooh, we should maybe call up so-and-so and then do that.

There was no desire for me to be doing anything that had anything to do with potential you know, flirtation. Right. So, um, then when I was in with, you know, doing that and I remember my therapist a year later was like, okay, you can, I think you can flirt again. I was like, what? I can flirt? And he's like, yeah. I was like, How do I flirt? I like forgot.

And then I remember like all these guys would start texting and I'd be like, I didn't have the same attachment to it anymore. It just, it just went away. It was like, I didn't get that. Like, Ooh, you know, I, I was just like, Oh, No, no, it just didn't have the same, like, pull. Interesting. It sort of became... And then the guys that I would normally have been like, ooh, was like, mm, nope.

That's incredible.

So you lasted the year. Oh, yeah, I'm very disciplined. Damn. Yeah, yeah. It was good. One year. One year and... Yeah. It's pretty incredible. I didn't know I was longer because then I was so happy single. I was single for like three and a half years.

I love it.

You're like, and I don't think if I would have done that, if I would have, if I didn't do that, I would never have ended up with Danny, you know?

Yeah. Because Danny, like, He's just such a good man, and I'm not so sure I was attracted to the good man. I mean, I was attracted to good men, but the uncomplicated kind of... I liked a feisty, wild type, and... Whereas Danny has that in him. His values are very sturdy. And he's such a lovely person.

And I would have never, I think, allowed that in if I didn't take those three years of just being so happy in my life alone.

If I find someone, there's this really funny, like I, I'm, I'm, I see, I of course get fed all these like Aries memes. Um, and there's this one where they're like, I'm an Aries. Of course I did it at like, and there was one person who goes, I'm an Aries.

I was like I'm an Aries like of course I love to be in relationships and then he's like you like me back like and just rant runs in the other direction I think there's a little bit of like the Aries thing which is like we like newness yeah venture you know, like, excitement.

So, like, the sort of good man, like, solid relationship is, like, Aries, I think, a little bit in our head is, like, a little bit like, hmm, is this gonna, like... is there going to be something that's going to keep this interesting or is this the rest of my life? And I, I think a lot of like fire signs would relate to this.

And so I, so for me that those three years was like, Oh, I'm actually like really love this. I loved being without, um, because I was so happy alone. Like I, the extent that sort of like excitement thing was like, I don't, that's actually not really, you don't need it. What's gonna, you're like, I'm exciting. Yeah. I excite myself. That's right. It's like, I can, I can create my own new newness.

I met Danny when I was 23, pregnant with Ryder and Danny was in high school. Yeah. Who made the first move? Danny. Yeah. He was very, very slow, slow burn. So slow. I was like, I was like, this is getting, this is weird. Like, is this, is, is this like a thing or is this like not a thing? You know, he's really cute. He's really great. That's so cute. I know. He's the best.

Honestly, like I'm just – it's like I'm so happy.

I could just like – you know, I really believe that there's a lot of different people in your life that you could have, right? It's like the options are endless. Yeah. When people are like – I can't find anybody, I'm like, you're not looking in the right places. There's somebody for everybody. You have to just be open to it, and you have to let the expectation go.

He's not gonna look the way you want him to look, and he might not, all this, this is my vision board. Be comfortable if the person on your vision board is the opposite of who the guy you ended up falling in love with is.

Because I really believe that like part of what stops us from experiencing like great love is that we are shrinking the idea down to something really small and so we're not open to –

That's right. But it's good to have vision boards.

But like, but like be open to something totally different.

Oh, this question is so important. I think like, It's so hard because communication. I think in order to be in truly have like independence, you have to be good communicators because everyone's idea of their needs are so different, you know, and I am very independent. The other thing about Danny, he's so like He just like lets me. Be you. Be me. And it's like I could, you know, I could be like.

Progressive parents-ish, progressive-ish parents. Those were things that were always very open. And I think part of why we were never super rebellious was because there was no mystery around those things. So, you know, even like partying, like my parents loved to have a good time. And we grew up seeing them enjoy their life laugh with friends, be, you know, talk about naughty things.

I really want to go out with my girlfriends tonight and I really want to be with you. Be like, go babe, go. And I could like be out till four in the morning, end up on some thing and come back and be like, Oh my God, I had the craziest night. I did it. And he's just like totally okay with it. Like in a, in a, in a good way. He loves when I'm happy. And

If it's the other way around, I'm like... Why were you out?

What were you up to? Four in the morning? What could you have been doing? Whose car did you end up in? No, literally saying. No, but I... But I really... Independence is what works for you. What might work for me doesn't work for him. So in order for me to feel independent, I think you have to communicate what that is. Like...

My thing is I just want to be told, you know, like just tell me that you're, you know, where you are, like tell me what you need and then I'm good. What I don't, I'm, I have a hard time with like not knowing. Right. Right. Some people are fine with not knowing they're much more comfortable with that, secure with it. My thing's like, if you tell me,

me either, but it's fine. For me, I'm also like, I'm saying this, but I also am very happy to be wrong.

There was no like, I mean, there's two songs on there that I wrote before I started writing with Linda. And then after we got out of the studio writing with Linda Perry, who's a writer on a lot of it, we went back, Dan and I went back and we kind of... um, you know, restructured two other songs that I had written before, but they, they're, it's all like of that time, you know?

know Kate more the lyrics will honestly it's like such a it's it's it's like because I waited so long to put something out it was really important that there it was a it was reflective so that there was like for me that it was where I'm at now but that there's a that there's a story of sort of

you know, a life well-loved and whether that be with my son or whether it be in past relationships that didn't work out or where I'm at now in, with my Romeo, which was, which is, you know, and that's just Danny and I wrote that together. And, but like, you know, that kind of the, the freedom in that song, you know? Um, and yeah, I have always been a hopeless romantic.

And I'm gonna take the word hopeless out of it, because I actually feel that there's, I'm a hopeful romantic, you know? It's like, and the hardest songs for me to write are the hopeful ones, and that was so important for me in this, because I'm so, like, my brain loves a depressing song. I mean, if you go into my,

vault of music it's just there's so much depressing shit in there it's crazy and it will come out at some point okay good i i really like we need a good cry but like for me with this i wanted it to feel like what the album title is like there's to to to love fully is a glorious experience and it it comes to you in so many different ways and like we're talking about like if you're open to it

then I think you're living a really well loved life. As long as you're a good person, you're treating people respectfully and you're honest.

Sometimes overhear things that were like, Hmm, what are they talking about? Um, But this mystery of like connection and why we connect with people was never something that was like hidden that we didn't talk about, you know?

And like gonna find out is like about not wanting a relationship. Right. You know, it's about being in that.

For three years. You know, that's kind of like a song about when you Just want to like when you don't that that like little, you know, like spark that you have with someone where you're just like, is this going to go down? You know.

I have to go make out with a guy. I have one scene to do today.

I'm making out with a total stranger. What? I've been like really stressing about this.

No fuck. I'm not telling him. Wait you have to make out? Like full make out time? I have to like make out with this random guy. How long? I mean, you will see it on Netflix at some point. Stop. Yeah, I don't I don't know. But I've been like having anxiety over it.

You just I don't know. I've never. What I do is I'm channeling Emma Stone in in, you know, poor things, poor things, poor things.

Poor things. If she could do that. You can do this. I can do this.

I can make out with some random guy. Easy. Yeah.

Totally boy crazy. Really?

Yeah. Boys are fun. I have a good boy right now. I have a really awesome boy, but I mean, I, I, you know, I'm doing this show right now where I play the president of a basketball team. So I'm basically surrounded by men all day. I went home to Danny. I was like, honey, I'm having the time of my life. I love you, and I am very committed, but ugh, I feel so lucky. It's like I was born for this job.

Stop. But I was very boy crazy. Okay. But I was also very prude. Oh, really? Like love to have fun, love to be flirty, super prude. Really? Yeah. What was your personality in high school? I didn't want to be there.

Because I was like ready to like I was like ready to have my own apartment somewhere in the world. Like I was like in ninth grade, like just someone give me like a martini and a cigarette and like some book on a balcony in Paris. Like. I don't know. I can see it a little bit in my daughter. It's just like I wasn't into the high school party scene. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be singing.

I wanted to be like traveling the world. I was like ready. Got it. To me, high school felt like it was holding me back.

And I was like, oh, you're just holding me back. Now I look back at high school and I feel like it was one of the great experiences of my life. But I was definitely the mom of the bunch. Oh, okay. Yeah, like when all my friends were partying, like I was designated driver. Like I would take care of everybody.

Yeah, everybody thinks I'm a total party guy. I was the opposite. So you're always DDing still to this day? Always. Well, I mean, you know, not now, but like back then I was very straight.

Yeah, because... Look, when you're young, if you're confident in something, people don't really like it. So I remember I was like, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I was very focused. I wanted to be in theater. I wanted to be working and doing things. there's a lot of girls who just rolled their eyes at that. Yeah.

And so, yeah, I wouldn't say bullied, but there was a lot of gossipy, like talk behind back type stuff.

And like, you know, I guess like, because I wasn't, I think girls who don't party, you know, I can sometimes get that too. It's like, oh, you're, too good to like get drunk with us. And it's like, no, I actually just don't want to like do a kickstand like on with you right now. Like I don't want to get wasted, but I'm happy to like hold your hair when you're throwing up. I don't.

So I was like that girl. And it would, I think sometimes bother girls.

I think these like young like social structure clicky like lord of the flies type like things that happen are actually really important. Um, how you deal with them at school and then how you deal with them at home with your family and like how they're supported, I think are so important. Like I feel like it's good to kind of have a little bit of friction when you're growing up and, um,

So, I mean, music's been in my life, my whole life. Okay. Whether it was me or whether it was with like my exes, partners. But yeah, no, I finally was like, you know what, if I don't share it, I'll just regret it. And

people saying mean things sometimes it's like, Oh, you know, you kind of need a little bit of that to like power through it and to realize like in, in, in retrospect to be able to reflect, look back and go, wow, like I'm so happy that that wasn't who I am and that I had a little bit of that scarring. It's a good point. Get me, get, get you through certain things cause it doesn't get better.

No, it does not. The world is a, I mean, human nature is quite brutal. So, so like, how do we, you know, when those small communities, like you're going to have friction in high school. I mean, what was your friction?

I know. And then you kind of look back too and you're like, oh, and then you had these great, like big, fun, awesome moments. Yes. Sometimes I look, there's certain people too that were just like always wonderful. Like, you know, you kind of, This girl Hillary and Jessica, and I look at these girls and I'm like, God, I wonder what they're doing now.

They must be the greatest mother of all time because they were so even and they had kind to everybody and helping you organize your own thoughts. Did you get your homework done? You're like, oh yeah, oh shit. So it's like, I don't know, you look back at that little, it's like a microcosm of what

19.

19. And he was just a, like, you know, not a very nice rock star type, like. I remember thinking, God, he was so mean. And then I met him again at 20, and he wasn't that mean. I must have caught him on a bad night or something. And yeah, I mean, first real love of my life. He was... How soon did you date to then get married? Oh gosh, it was a whirlwind.

We were engaged in four months and married in nine months. And then like three years, then I wanted to have a baby and we had Ryder. And then it kind of started to do that downward spiral. The classic.

I think it was terrifying, which is why I didn't do it. And I'm an Aries, like I'm supposed to be fearless. And I was like, why am I so terrified to share this? my writing, really. And I think it's because when I grew up, and sort of was young and became well known. And I got famous young, so I was 20 years old. And at that time, you don't switch careers.

How did you know you were ready for marriage at 21? There wasn't an ounce of me that wasn't like I didn't question it for a second.

Yeah. We were so connected. And Chris taught me so much about love and connection. It was just a wonderfully passionate relationship.

Like, the people I live in let people make mistakes, you know? Okay. So your mom didn't care. She's like... Yeah, and by the way, not a mistake. I look back at my entire... You know, life at this point. And I'm like, I actually feel like I might have gotten it right. You know, like love.

There's this sort of construct that that we're supposed to do it a certain way, which I understand because I really believe in the unit and I think it's what's missing right now.

But I do believe that a unit can exist differently than this sort of like very kind of religious concept of like marriage and male-female relationship. Like I really believe that a unit can be –

Even if someone is alone in their life and hasn't met the love of their life, that they could have a best friend, that they live close together and they can raise their children together and like have values inside of that that can be really important for children. So like, you know, for me, having the means and the ability to choose to be more healthy in relationships is,

means that it's kind of been easier for me to exit unhealthy relationships. Interesting. So whereas if I probably didn't have the means, it would be a much more challenging thing. But inside of that, just because you're not supposed to be with someone doesn't mean that you can't create a big, beautiful experience. Totally.

Isn't it? I love that. I know. So it's a great name for. It's so badass. But so Ronnie is really named after Ron, Ron, her grandfather. We spelt it R-A-N-I, but I call her Ronald. Yes. I literally... She answers to it. I'm like, Ronald. And she's like, yes.

Isn't it? I love that. I know. So it's a great name for. It's so badass. But so Ronnie is really named after Ron, Ron, her grandfather. We spelt it R-A-N-I, but I call her Ronald. Yes. I literally... She answers to it. I'm like, Ronald. And she's like, yes.

It's a mixed feeling because I... Now that I'm older, I love it. I think what happens when you... sort of become have a very successful rom-com it sort of becomes what people expect of you and want from you and as an actor you're sort of like yeah but i want to do a million different things so you i mean and as hollywood goes they love to put you in a box they love it um

It's a mixed feeling because I... Now that I'm older, I love it. I think what happens when you... sort of become have a very successful rom-com it sort of becomes what people expect of you and want from you and as an actor you're sort of like yeah but i want to do a million different things so you i mean and as hollywood goes they love to put you in a box they love it um

And and so I think when you're younger, it's like you don't want to be pigeonholed into this idea that that's what you do. And the second you have success in a romcom as a woman, it's like they just want you in that. Oh, you know. So it's like you love it. And then at the same time, you're like, yeah, but I'm I want to do other things. You know, I don't want to do this all the time.

And and so I think when you're younger, it's like you don't want to be pigeonholed into this idea that that's what you do. And the second you have success in a romcom as a woman, it's like they just want you in that. Oh, you know. So it's like you love it. And then at the same time, you're like, yeah, but I'm I want to do other things. You know, I don't want to do this all the time.

Yeah, don't put baby in the corner.

Yeah, don't put baby in the corner.

She's a self-proclaimed sister. She just said, I'm your sister. I don't think there's much arguing with her, so that makes sense. It's like she told me, and that's what it is now. I love her so much. She's a wild one, which makes sense for our family because we all have a little wild hair up our hiney.

She's a self-proclaimed sister. She just said, I'm your sister. I don't think there's much arguing with her, so that makes sense. It's like she told me, and that's what it is now. I love her so much. She's a wild one, which makes sense for our family because we all have a little wild hair up our hiney.

So she would fit right in. And so she fits right in. Yeah. What was it like looking up to your mom growing up? I mean, like, I think like anyone who loves their mom, you know, you're growing up, you don't really see anything. You don't see it like the out, like from the outside.

So she would fit right in. And so she fits right in. Yeah. What was it like looking up to your mom growing up? I mean, like, I think like anyone who loves their mom, you know, you're growing up, you don't really see anything. You don't see it like the out, like from the outside.

There's two ways to go. You know, if you're someone who's like really wants to keep things private, private, you know, I think... you just make that very clear to whoever it is, whether it be press or whether it be you taking a picture with a fan. It's like when you're with your kids, it's just, I'm with my kids and I really don't do that when I'm with my kids.

There's two ways to go. You know, if you're someone who's like really wants to keep things private, private, you know, I think... you just make that very clear to whoever it is, whether it be press or whether it be you taking a picture with a fan. It's like when you're with your kids, it's just, I'm with my kids and I really don't do that when I'm with my kids.

I mean, that's kind of what I grew up with. When we would go out to dinner and stuff, that was just my parents' thing is like, This is about, you know, sometimes you need to have some boundary because you really need to show your kids that you're attentive to them and that all of the incoming attention doesn't isn't isn't really real in a sense. And what I mean by that is that it doesn't feed.

I mean, that's kind of what I grew up with. When we would go out to dinner and stuff, that was just my parents' thing is like, This is about, you know, sometimes you need to have some boundary because you really need to show your kids that you're attentive to them and that all of the incoming attention doesn't isn't isn't really real in a sense. And what I mean by that is that it doesn't feed.

It didn't feed them. We we fed them more, meaning that connection. So sometimes they would put a boundary down with people. Then there's the other side, which is it can become exhausting trying to protect your children all the time. Meaning at some point, there might be a moment where you just go, this is what our life is. And

It didn't feed them. We we fed them more, meaning that connection. So sometimes they would put a boundary down with people. Then there's the other side, which is it can become exhausting trying to protect your children all the time. Meaning at some point, there might be a moment where you just go, this is what our life is. And

you explain it to them in a way so that they understand that getting validated by other people isn't going to bring you joy, but that this is just a part of what happens when you do something that people recognize. Like, so I think that's kind of what, what I do. And, and, and then, you know, as they get older, they kind of define what they, what their boundaries are, you know, like mine.

you explain it to them in a way so that they understand that getting validated by other people isn't going to bring you joy, but that this is just a part of what happens when you do something that people recognize. Like, so I think that's kind of what, what I do. And, and, and then, you know, as they get older, they kind of define what they, what their boundaries are, you know, like mine.

Well, my parents were really good. Like we they when we were younger, we moved to Colorado and it was a much less kind of chaotic front. Yeah. Our front face, like frontward facing world like L.A. or New York. But we also traveled a lot with them. Our parents were really good at just being like really kind, but like just always about our family unit.

Well, my parents were really good. Like we they when we were younger, we moved to Colorado and it was a much less kind of chaotic front. Yeah. Our front face, like frontward facing world like L.A. or New York. But we also traveled a lot with them. Our parents were really good at just being like really kind, but like just always about our family unit.

You know, I never felt like I was on display for my family. It was like, this is just what we do. And then none of this really means anything to us if our unit's not strong.

You know, I never felt like I was on display for my family. It was like, this is just what we do. And then none of this really means anything to us if our unit's not strong.

No, because I had the kind of parents that were very clear about how not normal and a lot of it was. They were so clear about how privileged our certain experiences were with us. I think that's like the most important thing. You know, it's like you can see it when your kids start to feel feel a little like, you know. that they're feeling a little different.

No, because I had the kind of parents that were very clear about how not normal and a lot of it was. They were so clear about how privileged our certain experiences were with us. I think that's like the most important thing. You know, it's like you can see it when your kids start to feel feel a little like, you know. that they're feeling a little different.

And our family, we're really good at just knocking that right out.

And our family, we're really good at just knocking that right out.

Yeah. When you, when you, you know, these are things that you earn. Yeah. I really think also just volunteer work with kids is like one of the most important things. And I don't care how much money you have, but like kids recognizing that there's, you know, like helping other kids. That to me is the thing that keeps everybody grounded and grateful is like,

Yeah. When you, when you, you know, these are things that you earn. Yeah. I really think also just volunteer work with kids is like one of the most important things. And I don't care how much money you have, but like kids recognizing that there's, you know, like helping other kids. That to me is the thing that keeps everybody grounded and grateful is like,

When you live in certain places in the world, you just have a very different life experience. It's important to not shelter it too much, to be like, this is different than how a lot of people in the world live.

When you live in certain places in the world, you just have a very different life experience. It's important to not shelter it too much, to be like, this is different than how a lot of people in the world live.

I mean, amazing. I mean, to be 19 years old and read a script that had a character like Penny Lane was like, you know, incredible and didn't come around very often. at that age, you know, at the same time I was playing a different part. So I was cast as the sister, um, in almost famous.

I mean, amazing. I mean, to be 19 years old and read a script that had a character like Penny Lane was like, you know, incredible and didn't come around very often. at that age, you know, at the same time I was playing a different part. So I was cast as the sister, um, in almost famous.

And then asked when, when, when the penny, when the girl who was playing Penny Lane fell out, um, I asked Cameron if I could audition for Penny Lane. And then he, and then he allowed me to audition. I'd audition like a thousand times. And, uh, But when you read a character like that, that young, it's like there's just not that many roles like that. So the fact that I was able to

And then asked when, when, when the penny, when the girl who was playing Penny Lane fell out, um, I asked Cameron if I could audition for Penny Lane. And then he, and then he allowed me to audition. I'd audition like a thousand times. And, uh, But when you read a character like that, that young, it's like there's just not that many roles like that. So the fact that I was able to

to do that was such a gift.

to do that was such a gift.

I remember it so well because I'll never forget it because they were doing MTV and Beyonce was on the carpet. And Andre 3000 was like up in a hotel suite. And I was such a big fan of Destiny's Child and OutKast. And then when I saw Beyonce, I remember looking at her and being like, oh, my God, she's so beautiful. That's all I could think was like, wow. And Chris, my ex-husband.

I remember it so well because I'll never forget it because they were doing MTV and Beyonce was on the carpet. And Andre 3000 was like up in a hotel suite. And I was such a big fan of Destiny's Child and OutKast. And then when I saw Beyonce, I remember looking at her and being like, oh, my God, she's so beautiful. That's all I could think was like, wow. And Chris, my ex-husband.

like love, like, like loved her, you know? And I was like, Oh my God. And we were both like, Hey, and she's interviewing me. And now I look back and like, it's so crazy. I've been lucky enough to have moments with her throughout our career. You know, we're around the same age and came up together, you know?

like love, like, like loved her, you know? And I was like, Oh my God. And we were both like, Hey, and she's interviewing me. And now I look back and like, it's so crazy. I've been lucky enough to have moments with her throughout our career. You know, we're around the same age and came up together, you know?

Well, but she's Beyonce, you know? I mean, like she, you can't even like- But it's different. Like, you know, I look at I look at her and I just, you know, you see, you know, I've seen the evolution in real time, you know.

Well, but she's Beyonce, you know? I mean, like she, you can't even like- But it's different. Like, you know, I look at I look at her and I just, you know, you see, you know, I've seen the evolution in real time, you know.

I don't, I don't feel it. It doesn't, it does not register. No, it's like, to me, that just doesn't make any sense. Like I don't, that's not, it's almost like I block it out or something. I don't know. She seems lovely. She's really wonderful and she's kind and really caring, you know? So the type of person that you can get excited has had the level of success. Oh my God. Yes. Yes.

I don't, I don't feel it. It doesn't, it does not register. No, it's like, to me, that just doesn't make any sense. Like I don't, that's not, it's almost like I block it out or something. I don't know. She seems lovely. She's really wonderful and she's kind and really caring, you know? So the type of person that you can get excited has had the level of success. Oh my God. Yes. Yes.

And she's worked so hard. She works so hard. As you know, with Taylor, this doesn't just come. It comes with real attention to detail and care and real hard work. Yes, the drive is incredible. Yeah, it's amazing to know, to see.

And she's worked so hard. She works so hard. As you know, with Taylor, this doesn't just come. It comes with real attention to detail and care and real hard work. Yes, the drive is incredible. Yeah, it's amazing to know, to see.

I mean, you know, it's so fun is that they love the show. Like my kids binge the show and one day the running point. It's like, you know, which which actually makes me really happy because they're boys. They're like teenage. I've got an adult boy, man. and a teenage boy and they're into it.

I mean, you know, it's so fun is that they love the show. Like my kids binge the show and one day the running point. It's like, you know, which which actually makes me really happy because they're boys. They're like teenage. I've got an adult boy, man. and a teenage boy and they're into it.

So, I mean, that's all I can ask for as a, as a, like, that's the, that's the validation I really needed was that they liked it.

So, I mean, that's all I can ask for as a, as a, like, that's the, that's the validation I really needed was that they liked it.

Yeah. And also like women, there is a place for them in men's sports, like whether it be in coaching staff or executive in the front office and things like, you know, I mean, as someone who grew up loving sports, it's like playing it. Yes. And women's sports. Yes. But like, I love, I love sports. I love baseball and football, basketball. Yeah.

Yeah. And also like women, there is a place for them in men's sports, like whether it be in coaching staff or executive in the front office and things like, you know, I mean, as someone who grew up loving sports, it's like playing it. Yes. And women's sports. Yes. But like, I love, I love sports. I love baseball and football, basketball. Yeah.

But, you know, and I know so many women who are like... like an encyclopedia of sports.

But, you know, and I know so many women who are like... like an encyclopedia of sports.

And it's like, I can't even stand it. You could be. Yeah. And, and, and, um, Yeah, I mean, it really is like for, I think for girls who really love sports, it is one of those things where you just go, there's a real, like there's a place for it and it can create a great balance on a coaching staff, you know?

And it's like, I can't even stand it. You could be. Yeah. And, and, and, um, Yeah, I mean, it really is like for, I think for girls who really love sports, it is one of those things where you just go, there's a real, like there's a place for it and it can create a great balance on a coaching staff, you know?

A necessary one.

A necessary one.

Yes. I grew up in Elway, Colorado. So when we moved to Colorado, we didn't have an LA football team. The Raiders had already moved to Oakland when I was little. So we were big Broncos fans. So through and through, Bronco. All of us. And then LA was always the Lakers. So we were always big Laker fans. And... Dodger fans, big Dodger fans, our whole family, huge Dodger fans.

Yes. I grew up in Elway, Colorado. So when we moved to Colorado, we didn't have an LA football team. The Raiders had already moved to Oakland when I was little. So we were big Broncos fans. So through and through, Bronco. All of us. And then LA was always the Lakers. So we were always big Laker fans. And... Dodger fans, big Dodger fans, our whole family, huge Dodger fans.

Although my dad and I are more Yankee fans, but that's sort of through his, his godfather was Lefty Gomez, uh, who was a Yankee. And I ended up dating a Yankee and then did a whole world series run. So I got really tight with the Yankees, um, Everybody, like from, you know, the owners to the team, you know, all the staff and everybody at Yankee Stadium.

Although my dad and I are more Yankee fans, but that's sort of through his, his godfather was Lefty Gomez, uh, who was a Yankee. And I ended up dating a Yankee and then did a whole world series run. So I got really tight with the Yankees, um, Everybody, like from, you know, the owners to the team, you know, all the staff and everybody at Yankee Stadium.

And so I just have like such a love for the Yankees organization. I did see that you got to bring your daughter to set. I did. Yeah. No, I try to bring my kids. My boys just get bored. You know, Ronnie really loves it. She loves watching it. She loves sitting in front. She has a lot of notes. Like she'll, she has a lot to say about the things that I'm doing. She'll ask a lot of questions.

And so I just have like such a love for the Yankees organization. I did see that you got to bring your daughter to set. I did. Yeah. No, I try to bring my kids. My boys just get bored. You know, Ronnie really loves it. She loves watching it. She loves sitting in front. She has a lot of notes. Like she'll, she has a lot to say about the things that I'm doing. She'll ask a lot of questions.

Like, well, why did you do that? Like, why did you go to the desk? Why did you, why did you pick that up? Well, because I have to pick up things. She's like, well, yeah, but like, But that doesn't make sense because if you're going to go out of the room, why wouldn't you just leave that in the room? And I'm like, okay, this is getting a little intense.

Like, well, why did you do that? Like, why did you go to the desk? Why did you, why did you pick that up? Well, because I have to pick up things. She's like, well, yeah, but like, But that doesn't make sense because if you're going to go out of the room, why wouldn't you just leave that in the room? And I'm like, okay, this is getting a little intense.

She's like watching everything. There was one joke she didn't think was funny. I was like, did you think that was funny? She was like, no. I was like, oh, okay.

She's like watching everything. There was one joke she didn't think was funny. I was like, did you think that was funny? She was like, no. I was like, oh, okay.

I interviewed this Dr. Shefali. She wrote a book. It's called The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is a brilliant therapist, but actually Oprah was the person who said, you have to read this book. I did this thing with Oprah right before COVID. And she was like, have you ever read this book now? She's like, you have to read it. And I read it, of course, because Oprah, I read it immediately.

I interviewed this Dr. Shefali. She wrote a book. It's called The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is a brilliant therapist, but actually Oprah was the person who said, you have to read this book. I did this thing with Oprah right before COVID. And she was like, have you ever read this book now? She's like, you have to read it. And I read it, of course, because Oprah, I read it immediately.

And it was a game changer. And then I called her to come on our podcast and And the thing that really stood out to me is that we really do, our traumas or our childhood, our own traumas come out while raising our kids. Our kids are actually our great healers and our great teachers. And if we allow, it doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries. It doesn't mean that you don't have certain rules.

And it was a game changer. And then I called her to come on our podcast and And the thing that really stood out to me is that we really do, our traumas or our childhood, our own traumas come out while raising our kids. Our kids are actually our great healers and our great teachers. And if we allow, it doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries. It doesn't mean that you don't have certain rules.

It doesn't mean that you don't, you know, have a good authority and structure for your kids. So it creates a safe environment for them. But what it does mean is that you're aware that the things that come up for you are things that you need to be as conscious of as how you're raising your kids, right? So like a good example would be the other day, Bing and I, he's in that teenage phase.

It doesn't mean that you don't, you know, have a good authority and structure for your kids. So it creates a safe environment for them. But what it does mean is that you're aware that the things that come up for you are things that you need to be as conscious of as how you're raising your kids, right? So like a good example would be the other day, Bing and I, he's in that teenage phase.

We had that headbutt moment of, I want him to do something. He refuses to do it. And in that moment, I got triggered. not, it wasn't about him. It was about my own inability to resolve or walk away from the moment that was happening. And instead I became combative with my 13 year old, which is like, what are, I mean, that, that, that doesn't go, where's that going to go? Right.

We had that headbutt moment of, I want him to do something. He refuses to do it. And in that moment, I got triggered. not, it wasn't about him. It was about my own inability to resolve or walk away from the moment that was happening. And instead I became combative with my 13 year old, which is like, what are, I mean, that, that, that doesn't go, where's that going to go? Right.

But it happens all the time as a parent, you know, with so many parents. I do it sometimes with my five-year-old. Right. Yeah. And when you walk away, when you walk away from it, you can recognize where you sort of might have created more of a problem than you did a lesson.

But it happens all the time as a parent, you know, with so many parents. I do it sometimes with my five-year-old. Right. Yeah. And when you walk away, when you walk away from it, you can recognize where you sort of might have created more of a problem than you did a lesson.

And the importance of being able to tell your kids that you could do better, I could have handled that situation better, actually models much more for them than... being stubborn and saying, no, I can't, I can't admit that I was wrong. And I, and I think that's the biggest lesson for me. And now that I feel like a veteran mother, I've been like doing it for 21 years.

And the importance of being able to tell your kids that you could do better, I could have handled that situation better, actually models much more for them than... being stubborn and saying, no, I can't, I can't admit that I was wrong. And I, and I think that's the biggest lesson for me. And now that I feel like a veteran mother, I've been like doing it for 21 years.

It's like to admit you're, you're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna be wrong. And you're, and to share your imperfections with your kids in moments without, to be able to say to your kids, you know, I could have handled that better. And I'm sorry. Because you don't deserve me to get that angry at you right now.

It's like to admit you're, you're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna be wrong. And you're, and to share your imperfections with your kids in moments without, to be able to say to your kids, you know, I could have handled that better. And I'm sorry. Because you don't deserve me to get that angry at you right now.

And you're teaching your kids conflict resolution. Oh, yeah. Sometimes in conflict, you go too far and you need to say you're sorry. Yep. Instead of teaching them that you double down. Right. And what you find in going to your kids and saying, I could have handled this better or I made a mistake or I'm sorry I didn't trust you, whatever the scenario is. you get that connection becomes stronger.

And you're teaching your kids conflict resolution. Oh, yeah. Sometimes in conflict, you go too far and you need to say you're sorry. Yep. Instead of teaching them that you double down. Right. And what you find in going to your kids and saying, I could have handled this better or I made a mistake or I'm sorry I didn't trust you, whatever the scenario is. you get that connection becomes stronger.

And I think that sort of has been the biggest lesson for me is knowing when to do that. Parenting is hard. It's a crapshoot is what it is. Yeah. And it's hard. And you are going to mess your kids up. I feel like No matter what you do and how you try to do it, it's like you're going to do it wrong. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to fuck your kids up in some way at some point.

And I think that sort of has been the biggest lesson for me is knowing when to do that. Parenting is hard. It's a crapshoot is what it is. Yeah. And it's hard. And you are going to mess your kids up. I feel like No matter what you do and how you try to do it, it's like you're going to do it wrong. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to fuck your kids up in some way at some point.

You're going to do something that's going to feel traumatizing to them that you didn't realize felt traumatizing to them. Yes. And this is coming from the most loving parents, right? Yes. Even in the most loving, like connective, healthy, attached parental situation, you're still going to mess up.

You're going to do something that's going to feel traumatizing to them that you didn't realize felt traumatizing to them. Yes. And this is coming from the most loving parents, right? Yes. Even in the most loving, like connective, healthy, attached parental situation, you're still going to mess up.

It's like... all the time. I mean, I, I, I'm like trying to think of ones that are actually like funny that like, we don't hear all the time. Like that mom's here, you know, it's more with singing, you know, it's, but, but I mean, I get like all of it. I've gotten like, that's so cringe. Like mom, when you do, when you do like, you know, yeah.

It's like... all the time. I mean, I, I, I'm like trying to think of ones that are actually like funny that like, we don't hear all the time. Like that mom's here, you know, it's more with singing, you know, it's, but, but I mean, I get like all of it. I've gotten like, that's so cringe. Like mom, when you do, when you do like, you know, yeah.

Like don't wear that, you know, whatever it is, like something I'm wearing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like something I'm wearing or something I certain posts that I that I. Your caption is so cringe. Yeah. Or or like or even like just like the fact that I Instagram is something that I do. It's like Gen Z for some reason. They're like, oh, like there's a picture of like the floor with like a plant.

Like don't wear that, you know, whatever it is, like something I'm wearing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like something I'm wearing or something I certain posts that I that I. Your caption is so cringe. Yeah. Or or like or even like just like the fact that I Instagram is something that I do. It's like Gen Z for some reason. They're like, oh, like there's a picture of like the floor with like a plant.

Like, right. Right. And you're and they post it and like a foot. Yes. And you're like, I don't know what that is. Like, I don't know what I'm like. I call them like the fuzzies and like all the fuzzy pictures of like kids like on a thing. But like you can't see anybody's face. Yes. And I'm like, I get it.

Like, right. Right. And you're and they post it and like a foot. Yes. And you're like, I don't know what that is. Like, I don't know what I'm like. I call them like the fuzzies and like all the fuzzy pictures of like kids like on a thing. But like you can't see anybody's face. Yes. And I'm like, I get it.

I get that. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. It just doesn't matter.

I get that. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. It just doesn't matter.

Yeah. I mean, I have all like, it's always, I think also as a mom, they're just very much clued into the things that you're doing. Like, you know, is that what you're wearing? So like, if it's a little see-through or very see-through with, with me, like it could be very see-through and they're like, no mom, that's gross. Like, what are you doing?

Yeah. I mean, I have all like, it's always, I think also as a mom, they're just very much clued into the things that you're doing. Like, you know, is that what you're wearing? So like, if it's a little see-through or very see-through with, with me, like it could be very see-through and they're like, no mom, that's gross. Like, what are you doing?

You know, or, or it could be like, I'm wearing a dark lip and whatever. It's just like, there's a lot of focus. Sure.

You know, or, or it could be like, I'm wearing a dark lip and whatever. It's just like, there's a lot of focus. Sure.

They believe that so truly, deeply in their hearts. So it has turned out to be. Ronnie is different. Ronnie and I are like Velcro. it's just totally different.

They believe that so truly, deeply in their hearts. So it has turned out to be. Ronnie is different. Ronnie and I are like Velcro. it's just totally different.

But I'm biased because I don't know what boys are. Boys are so fun. Boys are so fun, but we weren't meant to have... Well, you might not be done yet. You know, I don't know. It looks like, yeah, honestly, honestly, sounds to me like you guys are going to keep having babies.

But I'm biased because I don't know what boys are. Boys are so fun. Boys are so fun, but we weren't meant to have... Well, you might not be done yet. You know, I don't know. It looks like, yeah, honestly, honestly, sounds to me like you guys are going to keep having babies.

Oh God, don't say that. You're going to end up with like twin boys.

Oh God, don't say that. You're going to end up with like twin boys.

So bad. I love it, though. I could have I could have so many kids, you know, I mean, I even think about it right now. I'm like, am I totally done? But because I just can't imagine being done. And then, yeah, it's a weird thing to think like, oh, no, I'm done having kids when you love having kids.

So bad. I love it, though. I could have I could have so many kids, you know, I mean, I even think about it right now. I'm like, am I totally done? But because I just can't imagine being done. And then, yeah, it's a weird thing to think like, oh, no, I'm done having kids when you love having kids.

And if you're like a really, if you love it, like it really does get better. It gets a little scarier. You know, when you start to watch them, when you start to have to let them go. Like be their own human. Yeah, because you want them to love themselves and then you want them to make good decisions out in the world, you know? So you get a little bit of that, oh man, I just... hope they are good.

And if you're like a really, if you love it, like it really does get better. It gets a little scarier. You know, when you start to watch them, when you start to have to let them go. Like be their own human. Yeah, because you want them to love themselves and then you want them to make good decisions out in the world, you know? So you get a little bit of that, oh man, I just... hope they are good.

Isn't it? I love that. I know. So it's a great name for. It's so badass. But so Ronnie is really named after Ron, Ron, her grandfather. We spelt it R-A-N-I, but I call her Ronald. Yes. I literally... She answers to it. I'm like, Ronald. And she's like, yes.

It's a mixed feeling because I... Now that I'm older, I love it. I think what happens when you... sort of become have a very successful rom-com it sort of becomes what people expect of you and want from you and as an actor you're sort of like yeah but i want to do a million different things so you i mean and as hollywood goes they love to put you in a box they love it um

And and so I think when you're younger, it's like you don't want to be pigeonholed into this idea that that's what you do. And the second you have success in a romcom as a woman, it's like they just want you in that. Oh, you know. So it's like you love it. And then at the same time, you're like, yeah, but I'm I want to do other things. You know, I don't want to do this all the time.

Yeah, don't put baby in the corner.

She's a self-proclaimed sister. She just said, I'm your sister. I don't think there's much arguing with her, so that makes sense. It's like she told me, and that's what it is now. I love her so much. She's a wild one, which makes sense for our family because we all have a little wild hair up our hiney.

So she would fit right in. And so she fits right in. Yeah. What was it like looking up to your mom growing up? I mean, like, I think like anyone who loves their mom, you know, you're growing up, you don't really see anything. You don't see it like the out, like from the outside.

There's two ways to go. You know, if you're someone who's like really wants to keep things private, private, you know, I think... you just make that very clear to whoever it is, whether it be press or whether it be you taking a picture with a fan. It's like when you're with your kids, it's just, I'm with my kids and I really don't do that when I'm with my kids.

I mean, that's kind of what I grew up with. When we would go out to dinner and stuff, that was just my parents' thing is like, This is about, you know, sometimes you need to have some boundary because you really need to show your kids that you're attentive to them and that all of the incoming attention doesn't isn't isn't really real in a sense. And what I mean by that is that it doesn't feed.

It didn't feed them. We we fed them more, meaning that connection. So sometimes they would put a boundary down with people. Then there's the other side, which is it can become exhausting trying to protect your children all the time. Meaning at some point, there might be a moment where you just go, this is what our life is. And

you explain it to them in a way so that they understand that getting validated by other people isn't going to bring you joy, but that this is just a part of what happens when you do something that people recognize. Like, so I think that's kind of what, what I do. And, and, and then, you know, as they get older, they kind of define what they, what their boundaries are, you know, like mine.

Well, my parents were really good. Like we they when we were younger, we moved to Colorado and it was a much less kind of chaotic front. Yeah. Our front face, like frontward facing world like L.A. or New York. But we also traveled a lot with them. Our parents were really good at just being like really kind, but like just always about our family unit.

You know, I never felt like I was on display for my family. It was like, this is just what we do. And then none of this really means anything to us if our unit's not strong.

No, because I had the kind of parents that were very clear about how not normal and a lot of it was. They were so clear about how privileged our certain experiences were with us. I think that's like the most important thing. You know, it's like you can see it when your kids start to feel feel a little like, you know. that they're feeling a little different.

And our family, we're really good at just knocking that right out.

Yeah. When you, when you, you know, these are things that you earn. Yeah. I really think also just volunteer work with kids is like one of the most important things. And I don't care how much money you have, but like kids recognizing that there's, you know, like helping other kids. That to me is the thing that keeps everybody grounded and grateful is like,

When you live in certain places in the world, you just have a very different life experience. It's important to not shelter it too much, to be like, this is different than how a lot of people in the world live.

I mean, amazing. I mean, to be 19 years old and read a script that had a character like Penny Lane was like, you know, incredible and didn't come around very often. at that age, you know, at the same time I was playing a different part. So I was cast as the sister, um, in almost famous.

And then asked when, when, when the penny, when the girl who was playing Penny Lane fell out, um, I asked Cameron if I could audition for Penny Lane. And then he, and then he allowed me to audition. I'd audition like a thousand times. And, uh, But when you read a character like that, that young, it's like there's just not that many roles like that. So the fact that I was able to

to do that was such a gift.

I remember it so well because I'll never forget it because they were doing MTV and Beyonce was on the carpet. And Andre 3000 was like up in a hotel suite. And I was such a big fan of Destiny's Child and OutKast. And then when I saw Beyonce, I remember looking at her and being like, oh, my God, she's so beautiful. That's all I could think was like, wow. And Chris, my ex-husband.

like love, like, like loved her, you know? And I was like, Oh my God. And we were both like, Hey, and she's interviewing me. And now I look back and like, it's so crazy. I've been lucky enough to have moments with her throughout our career. You know, we're around the same age and came up together, you know?

Well, but she's Beyonce, you know? I mean, like she, you can't even like- But it's different. Like, you know, I look at I look at her and I just, you know, you see, you know, I've seen the evolution in real time, you know.

I don't, I don't feel it. It doesn't, it does not register. No, it's like, to me, that just doesn't make any sense. Like I don't, that's not, it's almost like I block it out or something. I don't know. She seems lovely. She's really wonderful and she's kind and really caring, you know? So the type of person that you can get excited has had the level of success. Oh my God. Yes. Yes.

And she's worked so hard. She works so hard. As you know, with Taylor, this doesn't just come. It comes with real attention to detail and care and real hard work. Yes, the drive is incredible. Yeah, it's amazing to know, to see.

I mean, you know, it's so fun is that they love the show. Like my kids binge the show and one day the running point. It's like, you know, which which actually makes me really happy because they're boys. They're like teenage. I've got an adult boy, man. and a teenage boy and they're into it.

So, I mean, that's all I can ask for as a, as a, like, that's the, that's the validation I really needed was that they liked it.

Yeah. And also like women, there is a place for them in men's sports, like whether it be in coaching staff or executive in the front office and things like, you know, I mean, as someone who grew up loving sports, it's like playing it. Yes. And women's sports. Yes. But like, I love, I love sports. I love baseball and football, basketball. Yeah.

But, you know, and I know so many women who are like... like an encyclopedia of sports.

And it's like, I can't even stand it. You could be. Yeah. And, and, and, um, Yeah, I mean, it really is like for, I think for girls who really love sports, it is one of those things where you just go, there's a real, like there's a place for it and it can create a great balance on a coaching staff, you know?

A necessary one.

Yes. I grew up in Elway, Colorado. So when we moved to Colorado, we didn't have an LA football team. The Raiders had already moved to Oakland when I was little. So we were big Broncos fans. So through and through, Bronco. All of us. And then LA was always the Lakers. So we were always big Laker fans. And... Dodger fans, big Dodger fans, our whole family, huge Dodger fans.

Although my dad and I are more Yankee fans, but that's sort of through his, his godfather was Lefty Gomez, uh, who was a Yankee. And I ended up dating a Yankee and then did a whole world series run. So I got really tight with the Yankees, um, Everybody, like from, you know, the owners to the team, you know, all the staff and everybody at Yankee Stadium.

And so I just have like such a love for the Yankees organization. I did see that you got to bring your daughter to set. I did. Yeah. No, I try to bring my kids. My boys just get bored. You know, Ronnie really loves it. She loves watching it. She loves sitting in front. She has a lot of notes. Like she'll, she has a lot to say about the things that I'm doing. She'll ask a lot of questions.

Like, well, why did you do that? Like, why did you go to the desk? Why did you, why did you pick that up? Well, because I have to pick up things. She's like, well, yeah, but like, But that doesn't make sense because if you're going to go out of the room, why wouldn't you just leave that in the room? And I'm like, okay, this is getting a little intense.

She's like watching everything. There was one joke she didn't think was funny. I was like, did you think that was funny? She was like, no. I was like, oh, okay.

I interviewed this Dr. Shefali. She wrote a book. It's called The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is a brilliant therapist, but actually Oprah was the person who said, you have to read this book. I did this thing with Oprah right before COVID. And she was like, have you ever read this book now? She's like, you have to read it. And I read it, of course, because Oprah, I read it immediately.

And it was a game changer. And then I called her to come on our podcast and And the thing that really stood out to me is that we really do, our traumas or our childhood, our own traumas come out while raising our kids. Our kids are actually our great healers and our great teachers. And if we allow, it doesn't mean that you don't have boundaries. It doesn't mean that you don't have certain rules.

It doesn't mean that you don't, you know, have a good authority and structure for your kids. So it creates a safe environment for them. But what it does mean is that you're aware that the things that come up for you are things that you need to be as conscious of as how you're raising your kids, right? So like a good example would be the other day, Bing and I, he's in that teenage phase.

We had that headbutt moment of, I want him to do something. He refuses to do it. And in that moment, I got triggered. not, it wasn't about him. It was about my own inability to resolve or walk away from the moment that was happening. And instead I became combative with my 13 year old, which is like, what are, I mean, that, that, that doesn't go, where's that going to go? Right.

But it happens all the time as a parent, you know, with so many parents. I do it sometimes with my five-year-old. Right. Yeah. And when you walk away, when you walk away from it, you can recognize where you sort of might have created more of a problem than you did a lesson.

And the importance of being able to tell your kids that you could do better, I could have handled that situation better, actually models much more for them than... being stubborn and saying, no, I can't, I can't admit that I was wrong. And I, and I think that's the biggest lesson for me. And now that I feel like a veteran mother, I've been like doing it for 21 years.

It's like to admit you're, you're gonna make mistakes. You're gonna be wrong. And you're, and to share your imperfections with your kids in moments without, to be able to say to your kids, you know, I could have handled that better. And I'm sorry. Because you don't deserve me to get that angry at you right now.

And you're teaching your kids conflict resolution. Oh, yeah. Sometimes in conflict, you go too far and you need to say you're sorry. Yep. Instead of teaching them that you double down. Right. And what you find in going to your kids and saying, I could have handled this better or I made a mistake or I'm sorry I didn't trust you, whatever the scenario is. you get that connection becomes stronger.

And I think that sort of has been the biggest lesson for me is knowing when to do that. Parenting is hard. It's a crapshoot is what it is. Yeah. And it's hard. And you are going to mess your kids up. I feel like No matter what you do and how you try to do it, it's like you're going to do it wrong. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to fuck your kids up in some way at some point.

You're going to do something that's going to feel traumatizing to them that you didn't realize felt traumatizing to them. Yes. And this is coming from the most loving parents, right? Yes. Even in the most loving, like connective, healthy, attached parental situation, you're still going to mess up.

It's like... all the time. I mean, I, I, I'm like trying to think of ones that are actually like funny that like, we don't hear all the time. Like that mom's here, you know, it's more with singing, you know, it's, but, but I mean, I get like all of it. I've gotten like, that's so cringe. Like mom, when you do, when you do like, you know, yeah.

Like don't wear that, you know, whatever it is, like something I'm wearing. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like something I'm wearing or something I certain posts that I that I. Your caption is so cringe. Yeah. Or or like or even like just like the fact that I Instagram is something that I do. It's like Gen Z for some reason. They're like, oh, like there's a picture of like the floor with like a plant.

Like, right. Right. And you're and they post it and like a foot. Yes. And you're like, I don't know what that is. Like, I don't know what I'm like. I call them like the fuzzies and like all the fuzzy pictures of like kids like on a thing. But like you can't see anybody's face. Yes. And I'm like, I get it.

I get that. Like, it doesn't matter what it is. It just doesn't matter.

Yeah. I mean, I have all like, it's always, I think also as a mom, they're just very much clued into the things that you're doing. Like, you know, is that what you're wearing? So like, if it's a little see-through or very see-through with, with me, like it could be very see-through and they're like, no mom, that's gross. Like, what are you doing?

You know, or, or it could be like, I'm wearing a dark lip and whatever. It's just like, there's a lot of focus. Sure.

They believe that so truly, deeply in their hearts. So it has turned out to be. Ronnie is different. Ronnie and I are like Velcro. it's just totally different.

But I'm biased because I don't know what boys are. Boys are so fun. Boys are so fun, but we weren't meant to have... Well, you might not be done yet. You know, I don't know. It looks like, yeah, honestly, honestly, sounds to me like you guys are going to keep having babies.

Oh God, don't say that. You're going to end up with like twin boys.

So bad. I love it, though. I could have I could have so many kids, you know, I mean, I even think about it right now. I'm like, am I totally done? But because I just can't imagine being done. And then, yeah, it's a weird thing to think like, oh, no, I'm done having kids when you love having kids.

And if you're like a really, if you love it, like it really does get better. It gets a little scarier. You know, when you start to watch them, when you start to have to let them go. Like be their own human. Yeah, because you want them to love themselves and then you want them to make good decisions out in the world, you know? So you get a little bit of that, oh man, I just... hope they are good.