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Kate McKinnon

👤 Person
378 appearances

Podcast Appearances

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, I'm in the offices of the publisher of the book that I'm here to promote.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Okay, let's start right off with it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

She's putting her glasses on.

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"Kate McKinnon"

That means she wrote a book.

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"Kate McKinnon"

These are fake glasses that I wear to feel more comfortable.

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"Kate McKinnon"

They provide a barrier between me and my interlocutors that I need in order to feel safe.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I can see you, but you can't come close to me.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I have never been on a podcast before.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Is this your first podcast?

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"Kate McKinnon"

I've never been, yes.

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"Kate McKinnon"

We're just hanging out.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Even though I have these glasses on to protect.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, no, I speak in dulcet tones.

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"Kate McKinnon"

This is my real voice.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And the presence of the microphone in my mouth is also making it easier for me to speak in my most dulcet tones.

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"Kate McKinnon"

They come to you.

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"Kate McKinnon"

They could leave.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It's a diver named Natalie.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And she has lost her costume jewelry and she gets in trouble because it's her mother's costume jewelry.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Is this really it?

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"Kate McKinnon"

I've just plotted my new series, so I am going to go because I'm inspired.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Have you ever lost something that you really weren't supposed to lose?

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"Kate McKinnon"

You've never met her?

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"Kate McKinnon"

We've, Kate, we've never.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I feel like we have, you know, a lifelong fan.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Yes, we were, I was driving by Sean.

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"Kate McKinnon"

That's beautiful.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Thank you for saying that.

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"Kate McKinnon"

This is the most intimate SmartLess ever.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Well, no, I, gosh, you know, what it was, okay, I was in a pageant at church, a play.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But, like, Northern Methodist.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So, like, everyone is, like, just gray and of, like, Dutch descent.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And has chalky skin.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And we were doing a play, Daniel and the Lion's Den.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I believe I was playing Cyrus, King of Persia.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Yeah, no, it's a really good part.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I decided to do it in a British accent to make myself feel more comfortable.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And those Methodists, they got to kick it up.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Because he's the king of Persia.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Why would they have a British accent?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Well, I know I was doing a British accent and they were laughing and I just always liked to do different voices other than my own because my own, you know, you're hearing it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It's like, it does it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was a way to reach out.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I want to say 10.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But there were always, you know, growing up in my family, everyone was doing voices.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You had to do voices or you got kicked out.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Kicked out, yeah.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, I didn't have a brother.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Around the dinner table, you know, waking up, going to bed, just voices, voices, Long Island.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You know, the North Shore.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, not quite Douglaston.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I just watched it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

We, growing up, you know, our big thing.

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"Kate McKinnon"

The big thing growing up, I mean, the microphones.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, no, it's right there.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I'm licking the microphone.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I feel like I don't need to project.

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"Kate McKinnon"

The big thing growing up was the Amy Fisher, Joey Buttafuoco incident.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Joey Buttafuoco was my grandfather's auto mechanic.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And it was exciting because it was ours.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was Long Island to a T. Was your grandfather deposed?

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"Kate McKinnon"

He would have said, but we, it was just, you know, my friends and I, we would play that.

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"Kate McKinnon"

We would enact the saga.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I didn't realize at the time that Amy Fisher was being trafficked.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, you didn't know that?

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was, you know, yeah, she was being trafficked.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You played... No, I was Joey.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Who was trafficking.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I went there, but I did the plays in high school.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I did a sketch at Columbia.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then I auditioned.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I went to an open call.

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"Kate McKinnon"

for a show, The Big Gay Sketch Show, which was on the now defunct Logo Network.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Wait, so Big Gay Sketch Show, was that the... So that was the first thing I ever auditioned for, and I got it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was 22, and I thought, well, this will be easy.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then I learned, it became clear that it was a difficult career.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so then I did UCB in New York, the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater for many years.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Was that 26th Street Days?

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then I auditioned for what?

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was so afraid to even go to ASCAP.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I did sketch and I did a lot of one-woman shows.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, not a team play.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But that involved a lot of like, I did one where it had a cake in it and a full rotisserie chicken and seven wigs.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so I would have to bring all the wigs and then I would stop at the Gristiti's grocery store above and buy a cake and a full rotisserie chicken.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And bring them down.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so I was lugging.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Those days were exciting days.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And just lugging a lot of props and wigs.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I had amassed a collection of 45 or so wigs that were gross and had chicken juice in them.

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"Kate McKinnon"

They got all chickeny and they got all cakey.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, no, I want this too.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, just, you know, being a comedian, being an actor.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I mean, you know, auditioning, stuff, getting jobs.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You know, very, very difficult and finding your voice and developing material.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You know, this is a lifelong craft, you know, practicing the craft.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I thought I was naive and it's, you know, it turned out to be a whole thing.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Are we talking about the Van Wick or what?

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"Kate McKinnon"

You take the southern state all the way?

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, but really, you take the LIE all the way out?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Obviously, I take the LIE.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Well, I don't know.

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"Kate McKinnon"

At some point, you're switching.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I never in my wildest dreams imagined that that was possible.

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"Kate McKinnon"

The summer I graduated from college, my plan was that I was going to dress up as Pippi Longstocking and sell popsicles in Union Square.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And my gimmick would be that I would be dressed as Pippi Longstocking.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so everyone would buy my popsicles.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So that was my professional plan.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I also was really wanting to teach English in Romania or one of the Balkan states.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Never did I ever, ever think that that was possible, no.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was doing a showcase in LA, and they invited me to audition, and then I did.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was horrifically nervous.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was going to... The restroom often?

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"Kate McKinnon"

The restroom often.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, I was horrendously nervous.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But then Bobby Moynihan, I guess maybe had seen me at UCB doing a one-woman show and he came up to me and he said, hey, you're funny.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then I could breathe and that was it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So I do credit him with...

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, but seriously, like, you know, just when someone reaches out to you in the dark.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, but no, if he had not done that, honestly, I would be in Romania.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I heard some titters, mild titters, which was so encouraging because I had heard that there would be dead silence.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So I was prepared for dead silence.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then when I got a single titter, I thought, okay, I'm flying.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But I had also practiced it a lot.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Like I like to wing stuff.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I don't know about you guys.

SmartLess
"Kate McKinnon"

But that I thought.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I don't think I did at that point have representation.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, that's not true.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I did have an agent and a manager at that point.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Guys, I just was really, really nervous.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Sure they all were.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, well, so the thing was, it was just me.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was hired alone.

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"Kate McKinnon"

At the last five episodes of a season.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So I just was like, here's your computer.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And bless them, I had known a few folks there from UCB who rescued me from the choppy, choppy waters.

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"Kate McKinnon"

of my own nervousness and really helped me out.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I just want to say, like, with that audition, like, I practiced so many times.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I must have said that out loud 50,000 times.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I felt okay about it because I had done that.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But usually I'm winging it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I cannot memorize dialogue.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Whatever ability I ever had left with my reliance on those cue cards, and now I cannot memorize.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I forget, I'm just, I can't remember stuff anymore.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I miss the people.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I miss Jenna and Chris, the stage managers, so much.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I miss all of my friends.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I miss Lorne Michaels.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And yes, I miss it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I miss being able to participate in...

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"Kate McKinnon"

commenting on current events.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But I also am so happy to be going to bed at 10.30, which is when I would normally go to bed.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, just, I don't like change.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so it was just terrible.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I just, I hate goodbyes.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so it was not a decision made lightly.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I was just so sad.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I just was so sad.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And really do miss everybody that I worked with because it's a beautiful, it's such a family and it's wonderful.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But then I wanted to, when you're there, you are eating breadsticks.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, that was something that I started doing when I wasn't at SNL.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I always loved, you know, I love characters.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I love big hair and I love funny names.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, bless your heart.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I was, it was on the internet.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was on the internet in 2006.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I'm glad it was because... No pun?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Because it was already done.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I... So I... You know, I am a coward.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I don't know if I would have had the courage to do it if...

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"Kate McKinnon"

I had not already done it.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I would have had to.

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"Kate McKinnon"

question i did i think it was pretty obvious the whole time um i did give ellen that award yes okay and and um wiki really framed that as a pivotal moment well okay okay i thought i was gay gay before that but that's cool no that's that's interesting no they're trying to claim it

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"Kate McKinnon"

Beyonce was at my table that night.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Yes, and she was wearing a dress that was so, the shoulders were so tall.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I don't know how she saw to her left or to her right.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I guess she didn't need to.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was so resplendent.

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"Kate McKinnon"

She was so, I couldn't look at her.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I mean, before it turns into the northern state, sure.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Now, do you think that... The Triborough is my favorite bridge.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I don't know about you.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I love, I also love the Queensborough.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It is up in... I could talk parkways with you all day, Will.

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"Kate McKinnon"

This is fun stuff.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, I'm sorry, this kushkushko is into Greenpoint.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Am I thinking of the wrong bridge?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Reach in and rescue me.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Is it not a bridge?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Thank you, because I thought I had lost my marbles.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Let's take a look at the live traffic if we could.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Get me on the Veritano.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Bring your bongos, Will, and just play the music.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And Jon Stewart, they say.

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"Kate McKinnon"

No, it's a thing that, yeah, folks are doing carpentry, and so am I. And I'm doing it, and that's what.

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"Kate McKinnon"

But I always said, I have always said.

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"Kate McKinnon"

That I would make cabinets, that I would want to make cabinets.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I've said that, and now I have made a cabinet.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I've got a garage and I got a bunch of stuff in there.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Bunch of stuff going on.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So that's my new... You got a workshop in the garage?

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"Kate McKinnon"

Yeah, I got a workshop.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And yeah, that's what I... So when I left SNL, I needed to know that I was jumping to something, which was making cabinets.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And that's what I have done in my spare time.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And you've just done the one so far?

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"Kate McKinnon"

I've done a bunch of stuff.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Okay, so the books, okay, so we, you know, I was joking before about the book being about a diver named Natalie.

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"Kate McKinnon"

The book is the second in a, it's the second book in a series of books called The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Math Science, okay?

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"Kate McKinnon"

And it's a middle grade novel, which is for ages, you know, eight to 14.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Harry Potter is a middle grade novel.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Anyway, so Roald Dahl was a middle grade author.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And of course, so this, no, so I started writing this book.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I came up with this idea with these characters like 10 years ago.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And whenever I wasn't at SNL, I would be writing this thing.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And then, so when I finished at SNL,

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"Kate McKinnon"

Finally, I had time to complete.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Just leave her alone.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so the Secrets of the Purple Pearl is the second in the Millicent Quibb series.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And it's about a mad scientist who starts a school for girls in a repressive turn-of-the-century town.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And in the second one, the Purple Pearl, you know, they're at a hotel and they're having an adventure.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And they're looking for a Purple Pearl.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I really, I wanted to be a YA, no, a middle grade novelist.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Okay, so middle grade, so the thing about YA is it's like monsters and making out.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Middle grade is fantasy.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It's discovering your identity.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It's grappling with questions of do you want to be, how do you want to appear in the world?

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"Kate McKinnon"

What are you fighting for?

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"Kate McKinnon"

What are you willing to sacrifice to fight for it?

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"Kate McKinnon"

These are the questions of middle grade.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And so I'm very drawn to the genre.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Also, these books can be really funny and characters can have really good funny names.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I think names and hair and funny voice are the most important.

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"Kate McKinnon"

That does a character make.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I would say that I was involved.

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"Kate McKinnon"

The illustrator is a beautiful artist named Alfredo Caceres, and he did such beautiful art.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I did have like ideas of what the stuff, you know, because it's imagination.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I could see it in my mind.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So I made little doodles, and then he made beautiful artworks.

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"Kate McKinnon"

It was a beautiful collaborative process and it was wonderful.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I described and he created.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Not donkeys, Kate.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You're some of my favorite comedians.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Well, I'm going to be doing some stonemasonry later, but that's another story.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I do watch a lot of reality television.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I have done all of that.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Wow, you got your hands in a lot of pies.

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"Kate McKinnon"

You're licking cherries off your stuff.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Well, that depends on the traffic on the G-Dub.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I cook every day three times a day.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I cook every day three times a day.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I cook, you know, I've become a gardener, big gardener.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I... You have veggies.

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"Kate McKinnon"

So I make, I just chop up whatever I've got and I just... I do it, yeah.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Yeah, that's what I do.

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"Kate McKinnon"

A melange, a vegetable melange over whatever I got.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I can't pick a carrot.

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"Kate McKinnon"

And I think you could too.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Oh, thank you, boys.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Can't wait to see you again.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I'd like to play a different character.

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"Kate McKinnon"

I'd like to play a desk.

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"Kate McKinnon"

Thank you so much, fellas.