Kate Murphy

And the thing that's so interesting about it and also really wondrous about it is when you do have that moment of clicking or connecting and really having that resonance with another person, you're flooded with all of these feel-good neurochemicals that makes you want to continue the association.

And the opposite, of course, is where you get you're not clicking and you're not connecting and not syncing in that way.

And that's the type of person where you're like, whoa,

and want to move away from them.

Just have that feeling that, okay, we're not connecting.

Oh, it absolutely does.

Because of that sense of individualism and that you determine your own fate and also you determine how you feel about other people or how they feel about you, it's really this communication, this balance, this syncing up with another person, which really requires you to attend to them, to be present for them.

And I love that you brought up technology because you can't achieve it remotely.

This really suggests that there are more senses than the five we take for granted.

And you just cannot achieve it in the two-dimensional or three-dimensional, if you're doing some type of virtual reality, types of interactions.

It's just impossible.

And that's why people leave virtual interactions feeling somewhat empty.

It's not as satisfying.

Well, the thing you have to remember is there is sort of a basic vibe.

They call in the scientific literature effective presence, whereas personality is how you generally feel.

Effective presence is how you make other people feel generally.

But we all have moods.

We all have changes where our vibe can kind of change throughout the day or throughout seasons and just because of things that have happened to us.

But nevertheless, there is an overriding affective presence that we have.

That you can't really change, just like you can't necessarily change your personality.