Katriona O'Sullivan

within an environment and think I'm not skinny enough or I'm not good enough or whatever but I know the things that I that heal me and soothe me at that time I was away and I wasn't in my so I went in to get the I lay on the bed this woman came in and I just had this thought I just had this moment don't do this to yourself don't do this to little Katrina she deserves better she deserves better than this and I said to Dave I can't do it and he's like oh you're here now you might as well and I rang my therapist from the room and I can't believe I did it and I

And she talked me out.

She's like, get out of there.

She loves me so much.

She said, get out of there.

But the point of this story is this, Brendan, I'm not healed.

Like, I'm not here to tell you there's a perfect arc here.

We all live in this world where we're told to be a certain shape or size.

Some of us have more trauma, pathology.

But what I have now that I never had before is I have that moment, Brendan, that moment where I can say to myself, is this good for little Katrina?

Like, is this going to get me cartwheeling again?

Absolutely.

Is this going to add to my shame?

Is this me chasing a destination?

I never had that before.

That's why I kept going and going and going.

And a lot of my friends don't have that.

And through therapy, through healing, I've been able to get the moment.

Now, still sometimes, I decide I'm going to do...

You know, I brought one of them red masks, Brendan.