Katriona O'Sullivan

Like we can orgasm quite young, Brendan.

And my body did what it was naturally meant to do when it stimulated.

It felt pleasure.

But I also had this terrifying experience going on at the same time.

And because I had no way of integrating that or asking questions about that, I thought it was because my body was a bad place and I was inviting these bad things to happen.

I went to the person who should have cared for me, who couldn't care for me and told her and she didn't help.

And that just added a further layer of like, I'm completely alone here.

And no one's ever going to come for you.

I suppose that was the soundtrack of my childhood.

No one's ever going to come for you.

And that's really difficult to deal with.

And what happened to me is then I start looking for answers to that feeling in all these toxic places, smaller body achievements, relationships.

But because I have no value, because I don't feel good enough, I've all this shame.

I'm driven to all these negative places.

Yeah.

What happened to me is I got pregnant at the age of 15.

I had my beautiful son.

And then I put on a load of weight.

I was actually really small when I was smaller.

And I was talked about a lot by the world as being a beautiful little girl.