Katy Milkman

Yeah, you never choose that. Right, so I think what you're pointing to is like, It's not a necessary condition. Right.

It's not the only. Yeah, there are people who can thrive without it. But if you get to choose and if you want to create an environment where you're going to believe in yourself.

It's not the only. Yeah, there are people who can thrive without it. But if you get to choose and if you want to create an environment where you're going to believe in yourself.

Yeah. Well, okay. Here, let me pivot a little bit to another. We're doing a lot of academic stuff. I like it. I love it. I'm an academic. I'm actually going to tell you a story about a person in academia who is the most important person in my career, and that's my dissertation advisor. His name is Max Bazerman. He's a Harvard Business School professor, great human being, and a great academic.

Yeah. Well, okay. Here, let me pivot a little bit to another. We're doing a lot of academic stuff. I like it. I love it. I'm an academic. I'm actually going to tell you a story about a person in academia who is the most important person in my career, and that's my dissertation advisor. His name is Max Bazerman. He's a Harvard Business School professor, great human being, and a great academic.

What he's truly exceptional at is mentoring. His PhD students have gone on to be tenured professors. Now everyone knows what tenure is at every elite institution in the world.

What he's truly exceptional at is mentoring. His PhD students have gone on to be tenured professors. Now everyone knows what tenure is at every elite institution in the world.

Unbelievably good.

Unbelievably good.

Unbelievably good. And he does all the other things that you need to do to help someone succeed, right? Like, you know good coaches. Of course. You know, the training, like the actual teaching of skills, all those things are part of it. But I think he creates an environment for people to thrive.

Unbelievably good. And he does all the other things that you need to do to help someone succeed, right? Like, you know good coaches. Of course. You know, the training, like the actual teaching of skills, all those things are part of it. But I think he creates an environment for people to thrive.

And it actually took me a while after I had graduated as one of his advisees and I was trying to advise my own students and figure out what was the secret sauce that made him so wildly more successful as a coach and mentor than anyone else in our field had really, I mean, stratospherically more successful.

And it actually took me a while after I had graduated as one of his advisees and I was trying to advise my own students and figure out what was the secret sauce that made him so wildly more successful as a coach and mentor than anyone else in our field had really, I mean, stratospherically more successful.

And what I realized is he had all the obvious stuff, all those obvious ingredients like, you know, responsive and knew his stuff and gives you feedback. But there was an unshaking belief, like he treated you like family. He was there for you. He believed that you could do it. He always was giving that positive reinforcement.

And what I realized is he had all the obvious stuff, all those obvious ingredients like, you know, responsive and knew his stuff and gives you feedback. But there was an unshaking belief, like he treated you like family. He was there for you. He believed that you could do it. He always was giving that positive reinforcement.

Another thing that he did that I think is so interesting and related to research is he sort of created, I'll call it like mentoring circles within the students he was coaching so that we were not always just being coached or mentored and advised by him, right, but he would put us in the position to advise more junior students.

Another thing that he did that I think is so interesting and related to research is he sort of created, I'll call it like mentoring circles within the students he was coaching so that we were not always just being coached or mentored and advised by him, right, but he would put us in the position to advise more junior students.

So there's this wonderful research that I write about in the book by Lauren Eskris Winkler, who's a professor at the Kellogg School at Northwestern. And she had this amazing insight when she was doing research for her dissertation. She noticed that She was interviewing all these people who were struggling to achieve their goals.

So there's this wonderful research that I write about in the book by Lauren Eskris Winkler, who's a professor at the Kellogg School at Northwestern. And she had this amazing insight when she was doing research for her dissertation. She noticed that She was interviewing all these people who were struggling to achieve their goals.

And as she asked them what they thought might help them achieve more, because that's what she was interested in, how do we increase achievement? They all had these really deep insights, you know, struggling salespeople and C students. When she got them to introspect, they actually knew a lot. They maybe just hadn't gotten there and no one had asked them. They also really liked being asked.