Kelsey McKinney

Definitely not. No way. I don't offer myself like any ounce of grace that exists in the world. I would love to come on here and lie and be like, yes, I've become very good at giving myself rain. No, I have infinite amounts of empathy for other people. For myself, nada, nothing. And that's beautiful. It's beautiful that you know that.

Definitely not. No way. I don't offer myself like any ounce of grace that exists in the world. I would love to come on here and lie and be like, yes, I've become very good at giving myself rain. No, I have infinite amounts of empathy for other people. For myself, nada, nothing. And that's beautiful. It's beautiful that you know that.

Yeah, that's fair. It's not even necessarily the actual act of gossiping and the judgment of that is what like reveals something about you. It's also the kinds of gossip you want to talk about, right? Like I noticed this especially in talk therapy where like I'll bring something up and my therapist will be like, why are we talking about this?

Yeah, that's fair. It's not even necessarily the actual act of gossiping and the judgment of that is what like reveals something about you. It's also the kinds of gossip you want to talk about, right? Like I noticed this especially in talk therapy where like I'll bring something up and my therapist will be like, why are we talking about this?

And I'm like, well, I just thought it was really interesting. And she'll push on that, right? I'm like, but why? Why do you think it's so interesting? What is it that's like catching on you, like snagging? And I think that that is like also true. The stories that you instantly want to turn around and tell someone are ones that often say something about you.

And I'm like, well, I just thought it was really interesting. And she'll push on that, right? I'm like, but why? Why do you think it's so interesting? What is it that's like catching on you, like snagging? And I think that that is like also true. The stories that you instantly want to turn around and tell someone are ones that often say something about you.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

So I want to say if I'm thinking about gossip as a tool that we use, right, that can be used for good or evil or neutral, then I think most often what I'm talking about is either the person who's telling the gossip, right, who is like bringing something with an intention, right? Right. I feel like I say this all the time when people are like, how do you know if you're gossiping badly?

So I want to say if I'm thinking about gossip as a tool that we use, right, that can be used for good or evil or neutral, then I think most often what I'm talking about is either the person who's telling the gossip, right, who is like bringing something with an intention, right? Right. I feel like I say this all the time when people are like, how do you know if you're gossiping badly?

Like, how do you know if you're being malicious? And I'm like, you know in your body, dude, right? Like you can feel it when you're like intentionally going after someone who maybe doesn't deserve it. And in that case, I would say like that is gossip being used as a tool for evil, right? Or for malicious intent, right? But I also think there is a secret third thing, which is your society's morals.

Like, how do you know if you're being malicious? And I'm like, you know in your body, dude, right? Like you can feel it when you're like intentionally going after someone who maybe doesn't deserve it. And in that case, I would say like that is gossip being used as a tool for evil, right? Or for malicious intent, right? But I also think there is a secret third thing, which is your society's morals.

Gossip is used to enforce whatever we decide as a society is valuable to us. And so if that's something innocuous, like... We decide that we hate it when people wear the color purple, right? We will gossip about people who wear it to try and keep them from not doing it, to try and sanction them back into the correct behavior.

Gossip is used to enforce whatever we decide as a society is valuable to us. And so if that's something innocuous, like... We decide that we hate it when people wear the color purple, right? We will gossip about people who wear it to try and keep them from not doing it, to try and sanction them back into the correct behavior.

And so I think there is, of course, individual agency in how you're using gossip, but there is also this greater umbrella that we exist in, which is like, what do we say our culture believes in? Which we don't all get an equal share of say in.

And so I think there is, of course, individual agency in how you're using gossip, but there is also this greater umbrella that we exist in, which is like, what do we say our culture believes in? Which we don't all get an equal share of say in.

Yeah. Or even conspiracy at that point.

Yeah. Or even conspiracy at that point.

A conspiracy theory is like a gossip that flows too close to the sun, right? And so it's like, it's gotten too big and out of control and it starts being like, I'll look for any evidence of this rumor that I've already decided is true and maybe to a nefarious intent, right? Like outing someone would be one. But I think it's also, it's not even necessarily UK, US culture, right? Like,

A conspiracy theory is like a gossip that flows too close to the sun, right? And so it's like, it's gotten too big and out of control and it starts being like, I'll look for any evidence of this rumor that I've already decided is true and maybe to a nefarious intent, right? Like outing someone would be one. But I think it's also, it's not even necessarily UK, US culture, right? Like,