Kelsey McKinney

They look like balls. Buffy is like, no. Like, I like the figs. I paid for them. I had this whole, like, reinforced concrete platform built so that they could sit on it. Like, I'm not selling them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Guess who else is here at this party? It's Celeste's ex-husband. And his much younger wife who likes an even temperature. Yes. He comes over and he's like, Celeste, stop it.

They look like balls. Buffy is like, no. Like, I like the figs. I paid for them. I had this whole, like, reinforced concrete platform built so that they could sit on it. Like, I'm not selling them. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Guess who else is here at this party? It's Celeste's ex-husband. And his much younger wife who likes an even temperature. Yes. He comes over and he's like, Celeste, stop it.

I gave you two weeks and you didn't buy them. Like, you had the first option. I don't know what you're doing here. And Celeste freaks out. She's like, you stole my fig. You stole everything. And Charles, like, kind of sighs and is like, I don't understand where this is coming from. Like, I'm the one who bought the figs. You never even liked the sculpture.

I gave you two weeks and you didn't buy them. Like, you had the first option. I don't know what you're doing here. And Celeste freaks out. She's like, you stole my fig. You stole everything. And Charles, like, kind of sighs and is like, I don't understand where this is coming from. Like, I'm the one who bought the figs. You never even liked the sculpture.

Mm-hmm. We're almost at the end. What do you think? How are you feeling?

Mm-hmm. We're almost at the end. What do you think? How are you feeling?

Like this woman has been going on and on and on about these fucking figs for a year.

Like this woman has been going on and on and on about these fucking figs for a year.

Celeste's ex-husband is like, it was only like after we got divorced that she started to care about it.

Celeste's ex-husband is like, it was only like after we got divorced that she started to care about it.

And Celeste is like, this isn't true. Like, they're going back and back and forth. They are now having this fight publicly, which means that this is the point where we find out that it was not about the house temperature. Okay. What was it about, Kelsey? Thank you for asking. It is about the fact that Charles made a series of very, very bad investments.

And Celeste is like, this isn't true. Like, they're going back and back and forth. They are now having this fight publicly, which means that this is the point where we find out that it was not about the house temperature. Okay. What was it about, Kelsey? Thank you for asking. It is about the fact that Charles made a series of very, very bad investments.

He put most of their money into an eco dance resort. And he also put a lot of money into some kind of omnidirectional treadmill for VR video games. OK, both of these things sound stupid because they are. And so neither of them took off. And so the thing is, these people were no longer rich. They were house poor.

He put most of their money into an eco dance resort. And he also put a lot of money into some kind of omnidirectional treadmill for VR video games. OK, both of these things sound stupid because they are. And so neither of them took off. And so the thing is, these people were no longer rich. They were house poor.

So like when she asked for a divorce, she used her settlement money to buy this new house in the neighborhood, expecting there would be more money down the road. And then there was like no more money. So it's not that she ever wanted the fig. The fig was like a pawn. It's like a pettiness prop. She wants it because she wants to sell it, to have money, to hurt Charles.

So like when she asked for a divorce, she used her settlement money to buy this new house in the neighborhood, expecting there would be more money down the road. And then there was like no more money. So it's not that she ever wanted the fig. The fig was like a pawn. It's like a pettiness prop. She wants it because she wants to sell it, to have money, to hurt Charles.

Bingo. What she was trying to do is figure out how much Muffy paid for it so that she could then get half that money from Charles. So at this point, she turns to Muffy and she's like, just tell me how much you paid for it. Like, did you pay $50,000? Did you pay $75,000? Did you pay $100,000? Like... What did you pay for this fig? Holy fuck. Muffy's like, oh, no, I paid ten thousand dollars. Wow.

Bingo. What she was trying to do is figure out how much Muffy paid for it so that she could then get half that money from Charles. So at this point, she turns to Muffy and she's like, just tell me how much you paid for it. Like, did you pay $50,000? Did you pay $75,000? Did you pay $100,000? Like... What did you pay for this fig? Holy fuck. Muffy's like, oh, no, I paid ten thousand dollars. Wow.

A real a real steal. These figs. Celeste loses her mind because she's like he gave it to Muffy for cheap to get rid of it.

A real a real steal. These figs. Celeste loses her mind because she's like he gave it to Muffy for cheap to get rid of it.