Kory Andreas
Appearances
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, and it's all we think about. And so, you know, my job now, it's great. I'm surrounded with autistic people that want to know about autism.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, oh, absolutely. You know, one of the questions on the assessment is, do you ever find that you kind of trust people before you should be trusting people? Do you have kind of a naive sense of trust with other people? Yeah, so a lot of the girls that I meet with will say that they, in high school, they were dating people
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
guys that were well into adulthood, married men, people who really had no business hanging out with a teenager. And, you know, they didn't necessarily know that it was somebody trying to take advantage of them and teachers and, you know, all kinds of things like that. So it's very common. And not that I hear it with with all the genders.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But yeah, there's definitely kind of a naive sense that can go along with those teen years as they sort of realize that people don't always hear intentions.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, you know, we do a lot of work in perspective taking and talking about how other people might be coming from a different perspective that you can't relate to. I call it an exercise in perspective taking a lot of the time when we're talking about social things, because we really only know the different experiences that we've had.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And one of the another question on the autism assessment is, do you have a hard time understanding the perspective of someone that's different than you or for an experience you haven't had yet? And the answer is overwhelmingly yes. So it's hard to even understand your own future perspective.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
It's hard to think, what might I feel about this down the road, this decision I'm making now, or what did I think about this in the past? So it's just a constant discussion and kind of opening up curiosity and just saying, you know, is there another way that we could look at that? Could you imagine, you know, someone else having bad intentions and what might that look like? And how would you know?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Worked with a bunch of big government agencies to do neurodivergence trainings and things like that. I do a lot of work with other therapist offices and treatment facilities, things like that. So just kind of getting the word of neurodivergence out there. And that's a big piece of what I do. And then, you know, keep it up on social media and all that kind of stuff.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And what would be the signs? And just kind of in the way that you learn anything, you know, just thinking about all the different things you need to be curious about in order to understand other people.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, it's my own private practice. I do have other therapists that are kind of in my network that I refer people to. So if I'm seeing a couple, I might send somebody to a colleague of mine for individual therapy and things like that. But it's just me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
I think this is my fifth year.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
That's a great question. I've seen a lot more awareness. The big thing that I'm noticing is that my biggest referral point is social media. So, you know, people are on TikTok and they're hearing stories from other neurodivergent people and experiences from actually autistic people and they're going that. me and they're seeking an assessment.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So five years ago, it was more couples that couldn't get the right kind of therapy that they needed because typical couples therapists aren't trained to work in neurodivergence. And now I'm getting a ton of assessments and the predominant clients that come to me are women and gender nonconforming clients that are looking for an assessment and looking for therapy that really works with the autism.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So autism affirming care. where we really like center the work on the way that the brain and the body are operating instead of trying to apply neurotypical techniques to that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So I don't, I have some referral sources that I send people to. I don't think that's my strength by any stretch of the imagination. I certainly did in the beginning of my career. Now, you know, I've sort of found that my niche is, I would say, typically highly verbal clients who are more of like the what they would call like level one autism clients.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, absolutely. Great question. So, you know, at five, you're dealing with a lot of like emotional regulation and skills to be able to go into a classroom and drown out all the things that are triggers. But the social skills are typically okay in that, especially with some of the kiddos that get diagnosed a little bit later where it's not as obvious when they're toddlers.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
They can sort of be in the periphery of the social interaction or in it, but they're just a little off. They're missing some cues. 15, that's when it all, you know, middle school really is where it all goes off. And so that's where most of the girls are identified. Or if they're not identified or it was missed, it was because, you know, nobody knew what they were looking at.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But that's when all of the mental health stuff kind of comes into play. So we see a ton of eating disorders, substance use. We see... incredible amounts of anxiety and depression, suicidality. I mean, there's just a lot of cutting behaviors, things like that, high risk behaviors. That's really common. Boys and girls, all genders at that time.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And then, you know, 25, we're looking at failure to launch. We're looking at, I had a really tough time with the transition to college, but that sort of evens out around 25. So most of my 22 to 25 year olds are doing things that neurotypicals were doing at 15 to 18. So there's that sort of like two thirds rule of,
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
going to school a little bit later, driving a little bit later, dating a little bit later, having sex a little bit later, like all of the milestones of adulthood, those type of relational things to come typically a little bit later.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And then 35, a lot of my in their 30s clients are working on job stability, being passed up for promotions, because they have a hard time advocating for themselves or speaking up or accommodating themselves in the workplace. But majority of my clients have incredibly high creative abilities, incredibly high intellect, a lot of skills that make them shine in the workplace in their 20s and 30s.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But sometimes the social piece and all of the sort of red tape in the games you have to play in the job can be really, really hard to navigate.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
wasn't even a thing. Yeah, absolutely.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And you know, Tony, the big thing that I see in when it when it comes to adults in their 30s is the big difference is the reason why they're coming to therapy is because for the first time in their life, they have a relationship or they're living with somebody, they have a romantic relationship that might be the first serious relationship that they've had, or the first like cohabitation situation, maybe in their 20s, maybe in their 30s.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
What I thought started it was working in the schools. I was a school social worker for 20 years. I'm in public schools and a couple schools for kids with learning disabilities. And then just kind of gravitated towards the autistic kids. And then when my daughter was about five, she got diagnosed.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And that relationship is what makes people realize something is different. And it I can relate to that because I, you know, I was I was married very early and divorced and just sort of knew that nothing was going well there.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But years later, when I got remarried, my husband was like, you are really struggling with some of the things like I would never think that you struggled with these things if I just met you in public. And it's really, you know, you don't spend that kind of time with somebody unless they're your partner.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So the way a lot of autistic people present at work and in the world and to their families is very different than what happens at home when they're safe and when they kind of come unglued. So that's why people are coming to therapy in their 30s, 40s and getting diagnosed because their partners are the first people that have seen, you know, something's going on here.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Like, why is this so hard for you to do things that everybody else does all the time?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
My husband is, I would say, neurodivergent, but not super interested in knowing a whole lot more about that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, it's true. We sort of joke about it. And we're pretty playful about it. I think my husband has, has some tendencies of neurodivergent life, but his way of doing things is very different than mine. And it's actually phenomenal, because we are both very intense. We're both very hyper focused on all of our interests and things like that we get really deeply into things.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But you know, I'm more like the creative, like emotional, you know, want to talk about feelings all the time. And he's more practical, logical, grounded, you know, all those types of things. So we're very different. And it's interesting. We have some pretty neurodivergent kiddos between us too. And, you know, to see how everybody presents, nobody looks the same in our house.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Nobody, you know, everybody's got different stuff. They have different strengths and weaknesses. And I think that's the one thing that stands out that I wish everybody knew is that no two people look the same. And even in a family with multiple, multiple people that are neurodivergent, no two people look at all identifiable as having the same kind of tendencies. It's just all over the map.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
We each have two. So we have four total. And only one of our kiddos is pretty neurotypical. So we have a wide range of stuff going on, a wide range of interests and abilities and all of that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, right now we have 15, 13, 11, and 9. Okay, all right.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
You know, they didn't start doing any kind of research on women until like the late 90s and early 2000s. So we didn't really know a whole ton. And then a couple years later, I started working with adults, started working a lot with women. And just all this stuff starts coming out about women on the spectrum. Found out I was autistic and my whole family is autistic.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, that happens with adults too. You know, in my practice, I'm totally okay with self-diagnosis and most of the people that come to me and think they are autistic are autistic. You know, there's enough information out there. If you want to know, it's out there to find out. And some people have, there's some therapists that really don't agree with that and they're kind of gatekeepy about it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But I think when you hear the experiences of other people, you're like, oh yeah, I know what that is.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, my website is coreyandreas.com. And I also am on Instagram. I have a pretty active Instagram. It's at neurocoreyous, N-E-U-R-O-K-O-R-Y-O-U-S. And I try to keep it light and high on the information there. So I put a lot of topics that are coming up in therapy, a lot of different areas that get brought up every single day and a little bit of humor mixed in.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, it's coreyandreas.com.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Absolutely. Thank you, Tony.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So it was sort of a natural inclination that I didn't know was a natural inclination until later. I just dove into the adult world at that point and started working out of the schools.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
No, no, I was a school social worker. So doing therapy and just supportive behavioral stuff for kids that were having trouble.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So typically it was the kids who had IEPs and 504 plans. So these are the kids that are identified by the school as needing additional help and supports and things like that. They would often be mandated to have a certain amount of therapy time during the week or someone to check in with when they were having trouble.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So a lot of the kids who were on my caseload automatically were the kids that were neurodivergent. So it was a lot of kids with ADHD and autism just because those were the kids that had the IEPs. I certainly had other kids that didn't have any kind of neurodivergence, but they were my faves.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, there was a lot of that. A lot of kids coming in for sensory issues. Mostly it was social struggles and behavioral things. So when I worked in the schools that were specialized schools for kids that couldn't really thrive in the public school, we had a whole, like a very specific protocol of what we would do. And those kids needed a lot of behavioral support.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But in the public school, it was more so, you know, kids having trouble communicating with teachers, kids that were bullied, kids that were teased. And then just, yeah, kids having meltdowns and things like that where they needed a space to go to kind of reset from a sensory perspective.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, towards the end of my school career, my very last couple months I worked, I was doing some private practice and trying to stay in the schools a little bit. And I worked in an elementary school and there is a big push right now not to identify kids with autism because it requires a lot of work. It's a lot of money for them and, you know, hiring people to support the kids and things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So they really do some schools who are. not doing a great job are really reluctant to go through the process. So yeah, it became a big push pull where bringing up the topic of an autism assessment was a big no, no. And so and that was my exact role at the team to bring that up. So when I said, you know, hey, we need to talk to the parents, they were like, don't use that word in our team.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
If you use that word, you're gonna have to do something, we're gonna have to do something about it. And we're not going to do that. So at that point, I was out. That was the end of my 20 years. I was like, I can't do this anymore. And it was becoming, you know, I was doing other things outside of the schools and feeling really good about what I was doing there. So it was time to go.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, I had been in private practice part time throughout all of COVID. I started right at the beginning of COVID. And then from there, I started seeing, I just was able to, you know, see a lot more people. So I had, I was working, I didn't have to work as late at night and things like that. I had more of a typical schedule, but I got really involved into the, in the world of
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
High masking autism is how I would put it. Most of my clients are people that are high up in the working world that are doing really well, objectively, you know, kind of have it all people and have kind of an internalized presentation of autism that probably other people may not see as easily as what we've seen in the media.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Get really involved in that presentation and really just learning and taking a huge deep dive into autism that we didn't know existed until the last couple decades.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, well, a lot of my trainings are on giving people the background of the vocabulary, a little bit of understanding about the research and how, you know, kind of misguided we are because we haven't been trained properly. So a lot of the people that are therapists and doctors and school professionals were educated whenever they went to grad school and college.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And so if those people, you know, med school, so if those people are the ones dictating whether or not people get diagnosed, it's pretty scary if they haven't updated their education. And you're not required as a therapist or a doctor of any kind of helping professional to get continued ed on specific things.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So you can kind of decide, you know, where you want to go, especially as a therapist, we really can go into anything. So if you wanted to spend all of your continued Can you dead time doing eating disorders or depression or, you know, other topics? You can do whatever you want.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So a lot of people are getting really bad information from otherwise pretty fantastic therapists because so much has changed so fast. So what I try to do is just update people on, you know, hey, we saw Rain Man. We know what that presentation of autism looks like. And that's real. But there's this whole other side of autism that people really don't even understand.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So just kind of giving them the up-to-date information, the signs, books to read, accounts from actually autistic people and more information so that they understand that there's this whole other side of autism that we didn't know about.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah. So masking is really the reason why so many girls and gender non-conforming people don't get diagnosed because they become really good at fitting in, really good at kind of faking neurotypicality. So one of the reasons why I do the assessments the way that I do, it's an interview. So we really just talk about a lot of the different preferences and background history and things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So it's about a four to five hour interview where we just talk about how they are sort of oriented to the world. And I think the reason that that works so much better than a lot of the standardized tests is that it's complicated. I mean, I'm autistic myself, so I can be incredibly social and incredibly well spoken and fit in in most situations.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But it's it's detrimental to my well being at times if I'm really overstimulated, or if it's too much, and you know, things like that. So really just talking to people about their internal experience, because if you ask the right questions, people are very able to explain what happens, you know, when you kind of push yourself too far in the areas that are tough for you.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So I think it was just a matter for me of figuring out what Those questions were kind of picking apart a lot of the assessments that I didn't feel were super accurate and finding out a better way.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
No, after. It was actually a couple years ago. And it really wasn't until I started working with women. I worked with predominantly boys for a long time in the schools. You know, I had a handful of kiddos that I worked with that were autistic girls. But that was so rare because the girls tended to do better, to have less trouble. They have better communication.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
They have better social emotional learning, you know, in the school setting. So it was when I started working with adults. And it was interesting because I noticed the sort of the male. And when I say male, I mean, stereotypical male presentation. A lot of the men that I work with more of what you see on TV, certainly every person's presentation is different.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But the women and the gender nonconforming clients that I worked with were very different. And I just assessment after assessment after assessment, I could not get away from this just nagging feeling of wow, this is Really relatable. And I have a quirky family. I mean, my family is really weird, really quirky, really creative, really off the beaten path.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And so, you know, a lot of that was just what I was used to. And it wasn't until years into my career that I realized, wow, there's this whole presentation of not male autism that was very relatable.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Completely. Yeah, it was it was really eye opening. And you know, I realized that a lot of the interesting pieces of autism is that the interesting most interesting piece to me is that perspective taking can be really tough when you're in an emotionally charged situation. So
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
When I'm dysregulated, when I'm having, you know, a tough sensory day or a really overwhelming day or something like that, it's hard for me to... When I'm in it, it's hard for me to always know that I'm struggling. You know, sometimes I just try to power through and things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But I'm very good at helping other people through those same types of situations because it's really easy for me to sit in this chair and help because... I'm okay. I work, I'm accommodated. I work from my house. My sensory needs are met. I choose my schedule. I work at the times that work for me for as much time as I need to work.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And that type of like the type of work situation allows me to really stay regulated most of the time. And I'm a pretty well adjusted autistic person. So it is really tricky when you're not. able to be in that situation. So when I worked in the schools, it was a lot harder to stay regulated. But perspective taking is something that, you know, I really thrive at in this chair.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But I can also relate to how much harder that is when you're out in the real world. So that's something that I spend a lot of time working with other people on.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, long before. She was five when we started seeing a bunch of different providers. And it took a couple years to get everything figured out.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
I didn't know. And at that time, you know, I've learned so much in the last two decades. But at that time, my daughter was very atypical in my mind of what I thought autism was when I was working with boys. So she was very social, very outgoing, if anything, extremely social. presented very different inside the house and outside the house.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So inside the house, she was very loud, very outgoing, incredibly articulate. She was hyperlexic. So she read at a very young age, was incredibly verbal, even as a baby. So she blew through the milestones in a way that was almost scary.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So when she started having trouble, it was things like more typical ADHD kind of stuff, like couldn't focus on anything, something she wanted to really focus on, things like that. But it ended up being behavioral struggles where it was just a lot of meltdowns.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So you would see this incredible emotional dysregulation where she would go from laughing to just throwing herself on the floor hours at a time to a degree that I knew was not anything that was supposed to be happening. at that age. And it just continued.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
But you know, what's tough is that at three to two, three, every doctor is going to tell you that's normal for five, they start to pay attention. And then you know, five and six, you're really having to convince people that it's not bad parenting, or it's not trouble at home and all these things going on.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
And then people really have a different presentation of her in school, you know, she would go to school and hold it all together. And the second we walked across that street, she would come unglued. So it was weird because, you know, she was a very well adjusted and very social kid.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So I was not looking for autism in the least until we really started to see that there were very small nuance things going on with her interactions with other people. She sort of didn't know how to like keep friends. She didn't know like how to share interests or to do some of the reciprocal communication. It became clear over time.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
I mean, over the next couple of years, you know, she sort of hit the ceiling of being able to cover it up and mask in school. But it was, it was tricky to identify in the beginning, even for someone who did this all day at school.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Yeah, my meltdowns were really internal, especially as a kid. When I look back now at what I know was overstimulation and a lot of like social stuff that was hard for me, it was really just an internalized extreme anxiety. Always second guessing my social choices, my social communication, things like that.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Sure. So I'm a therapist in private practice. My main day-to-day gig, I work with individuals, couples for therapy, and then only autistic people. And then I also do assessments like when people are looking to get diagnosed. So teenagers, mostly adults, but a few teenagers here and there The other side of that is public speaking engagements and education.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Even though I'm very outgoing naturally, I would come home and just agonize over why did I say that? Why didn't I say this? Does that person like me? Did I talk too much? Did I not talk enough? And so it was very much a personal thing. The other thing that I didn't know was happening is that, you know, you don't realize that other people have different things in their head than you do.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So I was working so hard to fit in working so hard to say the right thing, do the right thing. And it didn't come naturally. initially. And then, you know, just kind of thinking about other things like synesthesia, where the senses are kind of like overlapping.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So, you know, in my mind, numbers have a color associated with them and, you know, schedules are visual and I don't remember things unless I see them. And when I go up and down the stairs, I hear like certain musical notes and there's things that get stuck in my head and I can't stop thinking about them. The brain is busy.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So there's just so many internal things that I would never think to say, doesn't everybody have that? So it wasn't until hearing that experience from so many women that I worked with that I was like, oh my gosh.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
So for me, the big patterns that I thought were just kind of who I was is that I was an intense person, still an intense person, but all of my interests were extreme and everything I do, I would do to a degree that was just so above and beyond everybody else, which feels really good for me, but it also depletes me from like an energy standpoint. So I don't know when to stop working.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
I don't know when to stop talking and you know, all those kinds of things.