Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Kory Andreas Shares Insights on Neurodiversity and Self-Realization
Wed, 22 Jan 2025
Send us a text What happens when a dedicated school social worker and loving mother discovers her own autism diagnosis later in life? Meet Kory Andreas, a therapist whose personal and professional journeys provide profound insights into neurodiversity and autism. Kory's transition from the public education system to private practice was deeply influenced by her experiences with her daughter's early autism diagnosis and her own self-discovery. Her story sheds light on the systemic challenges faced by educators and families, particularly regarding the identification and support of neurodivergent students. Uncover the intricate layers of autism masking, especially among women and gender non-conforming individuals, as Kori opens up about her unique approach to assessments. Moving beyond standardized tests, she employs in-depth interviews to grasp the complexities of each individual's experience. Her late-life recognition of her own autism not only transformed her personal understanding but also enriched her ability to guide others through similar paths. Kory's narrative, intertwined with her daughter's atypical autism presentation, challenges conventional expectations and urges a more individualized perspective on neurodivergence. From childhood to adulthood, navigating life with autism presents distinct challenges at each stage. Kory shares her insights on managing emotional regulation in early years, tackling mental health challenges in adolescence, and confronting the hurdles of adulthood, such as workplace dynamics and personal relationships. She passionately advocates for the validity of self-diagnosis, emphasizing how access to information empowers individuals to comprehend their experiences. Through her social media presence and public engagements, Kori continues to foster awareness and understanding, inviting listeners to contribute their stories and join the broader conversation on neurodiversity. https://tonymantor.com https://Facebook.com/tonymantor https://instagram.com/tonymantor https://twitter.com/tonymantor https://youtube.com/tonymantormusic intro/outro music bed written by T. Wild Why Not Me the World music published by Mantor Music (BMI)
Chapter 1: What insights does Kory Andreas share about autism?
So a lot of people are getting really bad information from otherwise pretty fantastic therapists because so much has changed so fast. So what I try to do is just update people on, you know, hey, we saw Rain Man. We know what that presentation of autism looks like. And that's real. But there's this whole other side of autism that people really don't even understand.
So just kind of giving them the up-to-date information, the signs, books to read, accounts from actually autistic people and more information so that they understand that there's this whole other side of autism that we didn't know about.
Yeah, that's all good points. Now, you brought up masking. It's pretty well known that although some men mask, it's more of a female trait because they're trying to fit in. Sometimes they do. Sometimes it doesn't work out as well. When it doesn't, it can create a lot of psychological issues. What do you do to help them get through that?
Yeah. So masking is really the reason why so many girls and gender non-conforming people don't get diagnosed because they become really good at fitting in, really good at kind of faking neurotypicality. So one of the reasons why I do the assessments the way that I do, it's an interview. So we really just talk about a lot of the different preferences and background history and things like that.
So it's about a four to five hour interview where we just talk about how they are sort of oriented to the world. And I think the reason that that works so much better than a lot of the standardized tests is that it's complicated. I mean, I'm autistic myself, so I can be incredibly social and incredibly well spoken and fit in in most situations.
But it's it's detrimental to my well being at times if I'm really overstimulated, or if it's too much, and you know, things like that. So really just talking to people about their internal experience, because if you ask the right questions, people are very able to explain what happens, you know, when you kind of push yourself too far in the areas that are tough for you.
So I think it was just a matter for me of figuring out what Those questions were kind of picking apart a lot of the assessments that I didn't feel were super accurate and finding out a better way.
You mentioned that you're autistic as well. Did you find out that you are autistic before you were teaching or afterwards?
No, after. It was actually a couple years ago. And it really wasn't until I started working with women. I worked with predominantly boys for a long time in the schools. You know, I had a handful of kiddos that I worked with that were autistic girls. But that was so rare because the girls tended to do better, to have less trouble. They have better communication.
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Chapter 2: How did Kory's personal experience shape her professional journey?
Now, do you work with the nonverbal as well?
So I don't, I have some referral sources that I send people to. I don't think that's my strength by any stretch of the imagination. I certainly did in the beginning of my career. Now, you know, I've sort of found that my niche is, I would say, typically highly verbal clients who are more of like the what they would call like level one autism clients.
Okay, that makes sense. What would you say that you see for the major differences between someone that's around five or six like your daughter was when she was first diagnosed to a 15-year-old and then like 25 to 45 or more?
Yeah, absolutely. Great question. So, you know, at five, you're dealing with a lot of like emotional regulation and skills to be able to go into a classroom and drown out all the things that are triggers. But the social skills are typically okay in that, especially with some of the kiddos that get diagnosed a little bit later where it's not as obvious when they're toddlers.
They can sort of be in the periphery of the social interaction or in it, but they're just a little off. They're missing some cues. 15, that's when it all, you know, middle school really is where it all goes off. And so that's where most of the girls are identified. Or if they're not identified or it was missed, it was because, you know, nobody knew what they were looking at.
But that's when all of the mental health stuff kind of comes into play. So we see a ton of eating disorders, substance use. We see... incredible amounts of anxiety and depression, suicidality. I mean, there's just a lot of cutting behaviors, things like that, high risk behaviors. That's really common. Boys and girls, all genders at that time.
And then, you know, 25, we're looking at failure to launch. We're looking at, I had a really tough time with the transition to college, but that sort of evens out around 25. So most of my 22 to 25 year olds are doing things that neurotypicals were doing at 15 to 18. So there's that sort of like two thirds rule of,
going to school a little bit later, driving a little bit later, dating a little bit later, having sex a little bit later, like all of the milestones of adulthood, those type of relational things to come typically a little bit later.
And then 35, a lot of my in their 30s clients are working on job stability, being passed up for promotions, because they have a hard time advocating for themselves or speaking up or accommodating themselves in the workplace. But majority of my clients have incredibly high creative abilities, incredibly high intellect, a lot of skills that make them shine in the workplace in their 20s and 30s.
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