Kílian Jornet

the snow um and for me it was kind of yeah the first time like i grew up in a family of mountaineers so i i knew about the risk i knew about what death is but uh

Not until that point that it really happened close to me.

I really understand that, yeah, that's something that is real and that it's happening and it's happening here.

And at that point, I was like 20 years old.

He was 40 years old with the family.

And I felt like it would be so much easier if I died instead of him because, like, yeah, my parents would be sad.

But I didn't have that many connections.

I mean, like, so I, yeah.

It took me a time to accept that and probably the years after I was taking too much risks in the mountain just to try to see if it was a mistake that he was dying instead of me.

I don't know.

I think it's like probably for me it was more like to...

to try to see if it was a mistake.

If it was me that was mean to die in the mountain that day and he was just in the wrong side of the ridge.

And somehow mountains is the place where I felt connected, where he felt connected to.

So it's not a place that I would abandon because it's dangerous.

It's just...

I think I was just dealing with the grief when I was young.

And at the same period, I was racing, and after every race, I was going to the party of the race and drinking a lot of alcohol.

And I don't like alcohol.

I don't like the flavor.