Lane Johnson

Yeah.

BG and Rick. Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, it's the season takes so long to develop and play out. But, you know, by the December, you kind of know that your team's in a good, positive state. So, man, we struggled a little bit early. But after that, man, we were off and rolling. And yeah, man, third, it's crazy. I mean, you don't plan on it. But hey, while we're here, let's have a good time and win this thing.

Right? Yeah. I mean, I think it was like similar to what we did in 21 when we played Detroit and went from like really throwing the ball heavy to like a lot of run play action. And then Saquon will bust for like 70. It's like, just toss him the damn ball. Yeah.

Yeah. No, yeah. I mean, you never plan on it, but his ability to just, you know, and my ability to just head straight to the bench when it's not even done. As an older guy now, so I get kind of criticized for laziness.

Well, some big. Like, I'm like the second smallest. Yeah, it was crazy. Jargon's and myself, so we got some monsters.

Yeah, Landon, man, he might be the toughest guy, I know. He's had, I don't know how many surgeries, but in college, and then he could do the splits and all sorts. I got a video. Y'all got to see if I can have time to find it. Him at Jack Driscoll's wedding, him doing the fucking splits and the worm. Yeah. If we have time, maybe we can get to it. It's kind of not safe for work, but hey.

I've only seen him on a BOSU ball for the past two weeks, sitting on the motherfucker, sprawled out at practice. What's the play? Yeah.

Yeah, man, those guys, yeah, they are. But I think just how with stout coaches and just guys in the past, like Kels never missed a game, played lots of games, and he always had something that was going on. I don't know, it's part of the position, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah, I pretty much had a C-section. Yeah, I know.

Well, no, it wasn't like it hurt initially. And then after a few weeks of, you know, kind of died down. But after I had the surgery, the groin surgery, It was not good.

Yeah, but it was major up there. Yeah, the pain. A little bit north. So are we good now, though? We're feeling healthy? Yeah, we're good, man. I feel no bruises, dinks, dents.

So you had a hernia? Is that what it was? Groin. I tore both groins. Both groins? I tore my left one in Dallas, and they did the other side, and they said it was already. So it must have been torn. I didn't know. But my right side didn't hurt. It was on my left.

I think because I wasn't in any pain. That's crazy. But when I felt the left one, it popped and I felt it roll up. It felt like a cramp. And then after the adrenaline wore off, hey, it wasn't a cramp.

Feeling good now, yeah. I still got scars, but hey. Would you lie to us if you weren't feeling good now? No, I mean, other than this damn pinky I've had for three weeks, I don't, you know, I didn't get it x-rayed, but hey.

No, just give it a, tape it up, give it a buddy finger. Buddy tape it. Yeah.

How much money, how much money they got left. Okay. All right.

I like that. But you're not. I'm not retiring after this game. I said, yeah.

That'd be pretty sick. We'll give those guys a drug test and see. Yeah. That would rock, though. Saquon. I got three touchdowns.

Yeah, I might just take it from him eventually from his house. He wouldn't even know. You know what I'm saying? He's got so many.

Yeah, no, we talked about it. But then, like we had the year before, A.J. got hurt in that game. when we had to go play Tampa and couldn't play. So it's like we wanted the record, but, hey, if you go out there and get something happens to Saquon, they're going to be off with your head around here. Right. So your decision. Yeah. I mean, it's your year.

Yeah, the way I see it, you look at – I feel like carries matter. So he would have had – needed 30-something more carries to do what Dickerson did for yards. But either way, it's like we're at a point in the season – It's like, okay, now 2000's in front of us. It's close. It's attainable. But it's like nothing that you plan on at the beginning of the season. Yeah.

Until he runs for like 250 in the game. You're like, hey, fuck, he can really do this.

Yeah. And it felt similar like that. But I didn't know they had a Russian record title. That was a big deal. Yeah. Until he bought us some watches. Oh, shit. Yeah, I was like, hey, it's pretty big. Big deal.

I think he's 16-something, I believe, for that year.

Shady, I think. Yeah, 2013. Yeah, 2013. Saquon's would be, what, 2,003 yards or whatever.

I know. I mean, damn it.

It's about to be moved to 18.

Scientifically, probably.

I don't know.

Yeah, but in practice, I mean, run days, like Wednesdays when we pad up, we'll hit. Other than that, it's mostly using hands.

I don't know. It's hard to. That's not really a good question. It's hard to compete with a man who speaks soft and carries a big stick.

Sure. Hold on. I got to finish. Yeah. How they stack up. Well, I feel like we had like a blend to be great for all three teams. I feel like we may be more talented than last year's Super Bowl. I don't know if it's as talented as 17. That's still the best team until, you know, if we win this one, prove otherwise. So. That's how I see it.

But both, you had, like, older vets, a bunch of young, like, you know, like Qs, like just super freak rookies, and Cooper.

Yeah, but either way, they're in the Super Bowl every year, it seems like. The fastest five of the last six years, so – Yeah, man, with all those teams, they don't make very many mistakes. Yeah.

What are you going to do?

Well, hell, I told them to go talk to my parole officer, Jason Peters. He's the one that told me how the fuck I'm going to get you.

Just call this number.

Yeah.

The stats I care about is the hurries, the pressures.

Yeah, but whatever you do, they're tallied. Oh, look at that.

Yeah, so it's like I'm not even trying to press stout no more. I'm trying to fucking get my PFF grades so I can fucking party. You know, like party like I want to. But no, man. I feel like I just... Especially over these last few years, like I felt like when I had the injury, like when I was 29, 30, it's like I had some really good years taken away from me.

So like my sense of urgency, the past few is like, well, I'm in my thirties now. It's fucking, it's now or never. So yeah, man, that's, that's really what it is. And we, and we have a lot of fun, but we have a lot of talented guys in the room. Like Makai being that big inside makes passing off stunts so much easier. Landon Jordan. And yeah,

And our style of offense this year, like so much run play action versus just, you know, straight shotgun rushing the snapper. It changes things for us. Yeah.

uh yeah when they call a quick protection yeah some boots no i don't mind it um but i do it's like going to a boxing match a pass block as you dodge and punches and making sure nothing happens and then run blocking is hey i'm fucking throwing a haymaker back let's go yeah when you get in space like a big angry dog and you just start running down downhill at somebody that looks like that's fun

Yeah, it is. And especially when we're organized and everybody's on the same page and it just looks like a wave on film. And then Saquon just, you know, he does his own, creates his own waves and lanes. But, yeah, it's fun, man. We have a lot of fun with Stout. And I was telling you about him earlier, but he's the catalyst to everything, I feel like. Yeah.

I've never seen that. I mean, I've watched all the Barry Sanders highlights, but that's about the only thing I think I haven't seen Barry Sanders do was do that. I wasn't mad at it. I was on the other side of the field and I saw it like obviously after the game, but I was looking at the scoreboard and I was like, holy fuck.

Oh, so many times. I was like, how did you see this? But no, it's crazy, man. And he's a lot of fun. He's a great locker room guy. He loves golf. I don't know if you know, he loves golf and that's all he wants to do. So really the first day he came in, we all went, a bunch of guys on the team and went golfing and went from there. What's his game like? That day he played pretty well.

There's times where he struggles. He gets super critical of himself. And he comes back the next day like nothing happened.

They got us a nice watch. They got us the golf carts.

That's a good gift. That's sick.

It's doing good. Baldy's in there deadlifting about every Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

So Sean comes over there a lot, Sean Brady. He trains a lot. So during the season, like I'm in there sometimes, but mostly I'm at the, you know, working out. But my trainer, Gabe, I don't know if you, Gabe Rangel, but anyways, he trains a bunch of guys in there.

He loves it. He's like Gruden. He's like one of those guys that he's not going to watch the weather. He's not going to watch Netflix. He's watching fucking Outside Zone.

That's what I'm saying. I know in the past I would have definitely – I think I dapped him up, but I probably just went to the bench and just – sit down.

Yes. I was on the other sideline a lot when he did that. I remember his first time we played him, the first time we played him in New York and he had a hurdle over one of our guys and I was going. He could be pretty good.

Good scouting. That was a good scouting moment by me.

Put your name to where your quote is, buddy. I hate to anonymously just say it. Who you work for. His name is Stephen Che.

Well, when I can't find my car keys, you know, after 20 minutes of searching for them, I kind of agree with him.

But you know it's going to work. No, not when they call it. It's like when you have a Washington goal line situation. Yeah, that rocked.

I mean, we saw a loophole. No, it is fun, but if you do get rocked or sometimes where you just –

Yeah, well, like, Milata's really good. I'm okay at it. But, like, it really starts, like, the center, the wedge, and having guard. Like, Landon's – you've seen Landon. Landon's a monster. Yeah. Makai's a monster. But I feel like Brady was really good with it with the Patriots. Yeah, it's true. It was really good.

Yeah. Big stick. Speak softly. Yeah. I don't speak much.

Yeah. Like I said, after I show you this video, I'll show you him getting about as low as you can get.

I'll tell you what. Like, they didn't. They'll talk some to the linemen, but it's mostly like everybody has their fuse going on. Like the DBs and receivers, they got their own fights out there. And I don't get to hear any of the conversations. And then like the running backs, Saquon, Frankie, him, Bobby, like they have their own dialogue going on in the game. So that's a good question.

Yeah. I decline that. I like to settle it with a fresh new set of downs.

Go change that in the rule book in the new CBA.

What color Gatorade do you guys like to drink? Just curious. I like the one with all the red threes in it. Okay. I'm trying to get them all in me before RFK gets it. I'm out of here. It goes for the reds. It goes, I guess, for the purples. Yeah. Okay.

It's usually like, I think, lemon lime. Okay. Yellow, usually.

Yeah, no, there's definitely water. Then you have Gatorade. And then you have a thing we call leveling. It's like a hydration specialist. They put, I guess, more salt in it.

Yeah, I mean, that's what's going to be in the cups. I'm not sure what's going to be in this cup.

You give me some blue Kool-Aid mix or whatever, I can make it blue for you. I'm going to do that. We're making a color no one's ever seen.

Thanks, Brian.

He's an asshole. Yeah, he just doesn't want to reply.

Did the guy identify himself? No, he's just not Lane.

He must. I'm just for a son of a bitch. This is the last time you're going to ask.

Your first name is David? Yeah, they probably spent about two minutes thinking of that one.

No, my dad's David. His middle name is Earl. And so they built mine up a little bit with Lane.

It's happened with some friends, and they're like, you fucking asshole. I've been trying to get a hold of you for two or three years, and you don't ever reply. They see me, and they're fucking super pissed.

Super ass is not good. I don't know if you're going to air this, but I don't run my Twitter. I don't have the password to it. Oh. So all that stuff is Brian Brackey, my marketing guy. So he actually runs that as me.

Huh?

Also. He understands traction. Yeah, but hold on. Hold on. He's trying to be a part of the algorithm. In defense of my computer rankings.

The computer was dead right last year. Dead ass.

Yeah, no, the only time I've gotten mad with Art was a couple years ago. ESPN was like, he gets credit for being a noisy player. So for the whole next year, I didn't talk to the media once. Luckily, they didn't fine me, but I didn't say shit.

He gets credit for talking a lot.

Yeah, like ESPN should want people talking. Well, fuck, I didn't think I was. I mean, yeah, I talked a lot of shit way back in 17 when I made some stupid comments.

I'm sorry about all the nasty things I said Patriots Nation I was an undisciplined child whose tongue got the best of me even if you had said that what's the big deal with saying that like we had fun Yeah. They probably had fun, too, putting the rings on, but I don't know.

It was probably because the first time we've done it, and who's this guy to say anything about having a championship mentality when all he has is one? Hey, we still only have one.

I had to eat some crow, but hey, it didn't taste too bad.

Yeah, until you get home and your fucking Meemaw's there. Damn, those bucks beat the shit out of you, baby.

This fucking woman, I'm going back. I'm playing next year.

That would be funny. It's just you got to let the guys upstairs know.

Probably after about four wins after we started 2-2. But those games like – You know, the Falcons game was very close. The one against Washington was really close there. So, I mean, everything was really competitive for the most part. But we found a way to get out of our own way and fucking hand the ball to Saquon and score some touchdowns. Yeah.

Yeah. But that's part of it. And, you know, earlier parts of the season, I mean, you don't know what you don't know as far as running play-wise. So you got to see what the team's most, you know, comfortable running. And after a few weeks, you kind of find out, you know, what you're doing. Yeah.

Yeah, when we're running it, especially like four minutes, we're trying to run the clock out. They know we're running it, and we have to get a new fresh down so we can, you know, nil it or take it down. Yeah, was it the Ravens or the Steelers game where you guys had the ball for like 14 minutes? Might have been the Steelers. Yeah, 14 minutes. But it was a battle.

I mean, TJ's out there just fucking –

You know, bringing hell on earth. But their whole – I feel like that game physically was probably the most, like, tired I was all season.

But we actually threw the ball a lot that game too. Yeah. So we were – Yeah. And you got Cam Hayward and Herbig and Highsmith. So pretty good.

Really good.

Yeah. Well, I think this analytics, their purpose is to be there for those when those calls come up. So I feel like they do a good job communicating, especially when the calls up headset. Hey, let's go. Let's make that decision. Sometimes it's risky, but hey, that's what makes it fun. Yeah. Yeah. And it's got to be until you lose.

Yeah.

We should do it first down.

We'd have to rotate the guys in just doing a line, just a rotation. Yeah.

That's what you also start a tush-push bowl.

That's all you can do.

Yep. Yep.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

To the room that fucking hates the Eagles. I thought it was crisp. There was no stutters. It was right to the point. I was rambling.

Amen. He was educating them. On Sunday night.

I have Brian retweeted from my family.

I feel like they should do, like, for each team, if there's, like, a two-point conversion, they should have some random fan called out of the section. You have to be the tailback, and you're getting the ball. I like that. I'm in. I'm in training.

Yeah, he knows – I mean, obviously he knows football in and out, but I felt like he's interested in, like, how people learn. So he knows that, like, we learn visually. So we can accomplish, like, a lot more doing, like, walk-through stuff versus, like, a 30-minute walk-through will be a two-hour, you know, classroom section, you know, covering fucking Charles Dickens' Tale of Two Cities type shit.

So that's how it seems to me. Yeah. And so he understands that, but he's just really, when we go in there, it's like pop quiz time every time. He asks guys, what three plays do we have out of this formation of Fred Johnson? And he asks the question, and then he points out who he's going to ask it to after.

But that's like every day, and he's like, yeah, we're going to find out who knows this shit in here.

Yeah. Uh-huh.

Good question.

Is he going to be full go on Sunday? He looks good. He looks like what's the guy in Scary Movie 3 that passed the mashed potatoes with that fucking arm? He'll be jabbing. He'll be club ripping with that fucking thing. He's ready to go. All right, love that. I know he used it on me. Let's go.

God damn it, I told you, son. This ain't him.

Sparta will not fall. I like that, man. That was awesome.

Hey, so funny story. I guess Grant, we both went to OU for a little bit before we went to SMU. But he was, I guess, hitting me up that summer about, you know, can't wait to see you in Philly, be teammates or whatever. So I guess Brian, like, texting him a few times back and forth. First day of coming in the locker room, I just fucking breezed past him. Like, who the fuck are you?

He's like, bro, you're a fucking dick. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Same situation. Hey, it haunts me. Here it comes again.

well the only question is like how did that did that land do you know what i mean did you get fired up from that what kind of stuff do you like to hear from fans that fires you up you know what i mean how can we serve you yeah we do whatever you want bro what do you like to hear man i see i see everything you said is passion and all that energy and i and hopefully some so in some way you can radiate to me and i can i can use it for the benefit of this eagles team

You better be at the goal line for that. No, I would like to have where I could just fucking launch this bitch across the field to AJ. Yeah. Hopefully it's not too fucking safety that's going to pick it. You used to play quarterback. That's what I'm saying. I would love to just, that's my last shot. What? And just fling it. You still got the cannon? Yeah, it was.

I don't know what they call it now, but if I can, we'll see.

He's the best. Like I said, he's been in years of obscurity, but we've known about this national treasure.

His office has. If there's an earthquake in Philly, he's fucked because he has just all the history of the eagles on the wall in his office, everything. Cannolis everywhere. Cannolis, yeah, everything they send, they just pile his desk up with shit.

No.

Hey, this motherfucker could have steel legs like the two of them. And I wouldn't know because I haven't seen them.

He's got casual ones. I've never seen him in a track meet. Is he throwing the shot?

He actually said he went to Penn State originally. Yeah. So he was the ball player himself. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's make this weekend complete, man. Two-time Super Bowl MVP. Let's go, man. This is the tiebreaker for you. Yeah, man. This is the tiebreaker. It's, you know. Just like I said to Roan, hey, we got to get this energy going. Yeah. Yes. LFG, let's go.

And we'll see the max piece. Don't send me another text, but just text it to Brian and give my number from Big Cat now. You get my wrong number from Big Cat.

Let's go pump him up some more.

I agree.