Leanna May Franklin
Appearances
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Maybe it's writing a letter just later in your area. Maybe it's showing up at a local mental health board meeting. Maybe it's checking in on a friend who's caring for someone in crisis. You can reach out to us at Shattering Silence or visit our website for toolkits, letters, and advocacy templates.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
You can reach out to me personally if you'd like to learn more about any of the interventions I mentioned or need advocacy. I will attend any meeting anywhere in the U.S. provided I have the availability on my schedule. You can reach me at Leanna at SeattleNAD.com. That's L-E-A-N-N-A at Seattle like the city, NancyAppledog.com. My phone number, you're welcome to call or text 425-393-4762.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
This is what it is. These are the next steps. It's staying engaged. It's staying connected. It's communicating new ideas, communicating what's working, what's not, and it's not giving up.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Yeah, well, and you're doing a great job of that, Tony. Every single day, you're helping people to tell their stories. So the more we can educate the public, raise awareness, the better. And I think, you know, I'd like to speak to that place that's kind of quiet, that's underlying from what you're saying. And that is kind of the place that isn't polished or solved or wrapped in a bow, right?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
I am a licensed mental health clinician living in the state of Washington. I also serve as the policy director for Washington State for the National Shattering Silence Coalition.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We don't have all the answers. It is the scariest, most challenging experience that I've ever witnessed or have experienced in my life. I recently read the first three chapters of the book Difficult, Mothering a Child with Mental Illness by Judah Smith, and I was flooded with overwhelming grief and sadness. Not just because the stories were powerful, but because they feel like my own.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So these mothers, parents, families, their children, their family members, your heart breaks. They live inside all of our lives. I don't think anyone's really immune to this. And that's really the understanding that we have to reach is that this affects everyone. We no longer have the luxury of turning a blind eye. It's everywhere.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And there's a particular kind of grief that mothers carry when their child struggles with severe mental illness. It's not the kind you recover from. It's the kind that stays.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
I would say look up and read about ambiguous grief. Ambiguous grief is what we're experiencing when we're losing someone who's still with us. Like they may be physically present, but their mind is gone or opposite, right? They might be gone physically, but they're calling week to week. We don't know where they are. Ambiguous grief is so painful because, like you said, we don't have the answers.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We don't know how this is going to play out. We're completely powerless. And no one is coming through with a plan. And it is the scariest, darkest place. And I say we're in the dark ages. You know, Washington state has the most money than any other state in the U.S. per capita. And we're in the dark ages when it comes to mental health care.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So it's about understanding that emotional experience and not allowing it to consume you. And you've got to move the emotion. You have to move the emotion or you will become paralyzed. You have to move through it and you have to talk about it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So I've always been in the health field. I've been practicing in medicine for almost 20 years. And in 2021, my adult son suffered a psychotic break. And that's when I got deep into mental health.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
I talk about it. Yeah, I cry. I cry. I exercise. I call out for help. And there's some days, Tony said, I just don't move at all. We're tired. We are so tired.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
I want you to know if you're listening and you're tired, it's okay. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you're weak. It doesn't mean that you're failing. It's okay to be tired and it's okay to rest. And some days that's what we do.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Well, here's the thing is know your limits. So, you know, not every single person going through this has to go out and become a policymaker, right? Like that was what was working for me. But maybe what's working for the next person is accountability in a different form. I think accountability is a very general answer that works for most people.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
The moment we start to isolate and we stop taking action or start freaking about self-care and routine, that's a dangerous place to be. We certainly don't want to be coping with harmful substances or anything like that either, right? So it's really about accountability.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
If you have a loved one or a partner or friends or family or anybody to check in with you, to communicate with, to really be transparent about how you're really doing today, I think that's really a good starting point.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Yeah, so there's an overwhelming level of shame. And yeah, you're correct. If you suspect that your circle, your community, your friends and family won't understand, chances are they probably won't. Because like you said, Tony, unless they've been through it themselves, they just don't get it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Even the people that do stand by you and that do try to understand, they just won't at the end of the day. And that's okay. And we can accept that. And if you're not comfortable talking about it, don't. Talk to the people that you're comfortable opening up to. Your personal life and certainly someone else's protected health information. You know, this is your family member's personal life as well.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We don't broadcast. So this is a very different situation in my case. But, you know, in the beginning, it was between me and my two family members. It was the three of us dealing with this. Sort of the long answer is look into what the five stages of grief are. Expect that you're probably in denial right now.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
He was 19 years old.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Expect that you're probably going to be trying to solve this and just prepare yourself for each phase and prepare yourself for the reality of what might occur. But stay optimistic as well and just don't give up. The only thing that got me through with all the ups and downs and all the confusion and what works and doesn't work is the message to never give up. Just don't give up.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your family member and whatever that means, right? I had to set boundaries. I cannot be in the same room with my loved one today as much as I'd like to be. For his safety and my safety, we've had to put some barriers between us and that's okay. So you don't give up and you do what's necessary to keep going.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Sometimes it's okay to lose that belief. Sometimes it's okay to say, I can't anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. I've done everything I know how to. I'm giving up today. It's over. I can't do this. And sometimes the situation wins. That's okay too. Whatever the emotion is, you have to be accepting and move through it and just know that you're going to wake up again tomorrow.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Sometimes miracles happen. You know, I've had times where I just couldn't find the answers and I did everything I knew how to do and this would completely consume me. And then you get a phone call, you get an email, you get good news. So recognize that it's not just you carrying this and please don't ever carry this alone.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So there's the emotional side of this. And then there's also the logistics. So if you have it in you to advocate for your family member, here's what you need to know. You need to document everything, dates, hospital visits, behaviors, medications, refusals of services. Keep a record. It matters when you're advocating, especially in legal or policy settings. Learn the language of the system.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
What was happening beforehand was what I thought to be typical teenage behavior. So, you know, isolation, mood changes, slight behavior changes, but he was still functioning and, you know, showing up for school every day. He was the best driver in our family. You know, he had a lot of strengths and qualities that caused us to maybe not look at those challenges so closely.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Understand terms like gravely disabled. least restrictive alternative and assisted outpatient treatment. Knowing how these systems work empowers you to challenge them effectively. Build a wraparound team. Do not do this alone. Involve care coordinators, social workers, public defenders, psychiatrists, and yes, as many advocates that are willing to listen and show up on days that it matters.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Your voice matters. A team amplifies your voice. Find an attorney who specializes in petitioning for court-ordered treatment. And two more things. Don't give up on love, but set boundaries. Set boundaries because love without structure can become enabling. Boundaries are an act of protection for both of you. Push for policy change. Our systems won't change until people like us demand it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
That's why I work with National Shattering Silence Coalition to end the criminalization, neglect, and abandonment of our loved ones. And then find the solutions that work. We're talking about them every single day.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Thank you, Tony. I'm so grateful you had me here today and thank you for all the work that you're doing.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So my son had been hanging out a lot with his friends, and we hadn't seen him for a couple weeks. And he came home on Fourth of July weekend to celebrate with the family. We're all having a barbecue, and he wasn't himself. Halfway through our celebration, he had a meltdown, which I've never seen him really have such a meltdown before.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And as the weekend progressed, we had to really examine what was going on. And he had a complete executive functioning meltdown, which I've never even witnessed in a person before. And so from that point on, I mean, he went into an inpatient facility. And from that point on, we've been looking at every intervention that is out there, holistic
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
conventional, working with the best professionals, the best programs, and even with the means and the support, we have had very similar stories as someone who doesn't have access to these programs. Yeah.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Yeah, so disorganized speech, responding to internal stimuli, audio and visual hallucinations, very aggravated and agitated, you know, unable to sit still. He just wasn't feeling well. He just did not feel well. He needed our help. He knew something was wrong and he really needed our help.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
In my son's case, he knew. He knew before any of us knew when he was age 15 that something wasn't right. And he actually advocated for his own treatment early on. Again, at the time, we all thought it was typical hormonal stuff, depression, anxiety, social challenges, academic challenges, just the stress of life. But he knew something was wrong.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And he actually did a lot of his own research online. At one point, he did say to us at age 16, I think I might have schizophrenia.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
At the time, I was very dismissive.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Even though, you know, I'm getting him the help he needs. We had one of the best psychologists in the United States, etc. I, at the time, was in complete denial as a mother and thought, well, this is just the phase.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Because it doesn't run in our family. And I had always thought that schizophrenia and bipolar was genetic.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And it's a long-term diagnosis. You don't just diagnose somebody, right?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So I thought my child's reading stuff online and he's getting, you know, ideas of what an extreme scenario would be. And, you know, you don't, a diagnosis of schizophrenia usually takes up to 10 years because it has to be consistent symptomology, right? So here we are 2025, you know, almost five years after his meltdown and we've learned a lot.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We've learned that he absolutely has schizoaffective disorder, depressive type, and struggles with polysubstance use. And it's been a real challenge getting, now that he's an adult, getting the treatment that he needs. So we're at the point, you know, we've worked with coaches and mentors and caregivers and friends of families and professionals and people that I've hired as peer support.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And we're at the point now where we're hiring an attorney to petition for long-term, court-ordered long-term treatment.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We do. So they passed the law in Washington State in 2023 and they're just now getting momentum. There's two people in the AOT office at Washington State and I have been blowing them up for months. through email, you know, in a very professional way. And I was very fortunate. My son has never had a history of criminal involvement. He's never been in the criminal justice system.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Fortunately, after 12 hours of an escalated incident, 12 hours of me calling every single mental health crisis number that we have available here in King County and getting no help, he was arrested for his behavior. And at that time, AOT finally got involved and took his case.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So had I not been advocating for months up until that point, working with the local case management team, etc., he would have not had the care that he received while in custody at King County. So fortunately, AOT was able to at least supervise his experience there. He did not get charged with any crime. He was on a mental health hold for two weeks.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And then he was released without a treatment plan. It wasn't just a gap in treatment. It was more of a cliff where they're not giving me any visibility because he's an adult.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
You know how it goes. And so now the AOT team is saying they're going to provide wraparound services. So I'm hopeful that the AOT program will develop and I'm aiding in that process, right? I'm getting as many people involved as possible.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So we're in the process of building a wraparound team. I am bringing together social workers, public defenders, advocates. We're petitioning for court ordered treatment. I'm setting boundaries, right? I love my son with every fiber of my being, but love without structure can become enabling. And so boundaries are an act of protection for both of us.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
I'm pushing for policy change. So every day I'm talking to the people in the community about what we can do next. He does call. So he's currently homeless. He does call about once a week. He'll call either myself or his father. We're encouraging him to seek treatment. I don't believe that he has the self-awareness to really climb out of the hole that he's in. So he needs wraparound support.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
And that's where we're at today.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
He's in and out of the local shelter. And that is very, very, very hard for me.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
To say that out loud to a public audience is very, very hard because we moved mountains to make sure that he wouldn't fall through the cracks. And so that's why I bring this back to this isn't a matter of economic status, right? This isn't a matter of education or funding.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
It's a matter of there is no model to address the challenges that we have, especially when you're dealing with an adult family member who is is by law unable to make their own decisions. We have very little room to intervene.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So we're working closely with the assisted outpatient treatment team. We're putting together an ACT team, which is assertive community treatment. They will go to him, wherever he is, they will visit him. We're bringing together peer support, surrounding him with people that are his age, that have lived experience, that have grown out of these challenges and have brought their lives together.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
We have other interventions available when he's ready, such as metabolic psychiatry and support, functional medicine providers. We've put together a caregiving training program at the local care agency.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
When he's ready to live on his own again and live independently, we can provide that caregiver support and actual caregivers to come in the home and help him maintain his autonomy as much as possible. So these are the things we're working on. I'm the type of person to take action when I'm being challenged or when I'm trying to cope.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So if I don't have something I'm working on, I will also go into a meltdown. You know what I mean? I have to be constantly taking action. So I do have my checklist. I think the thing we're focusing on the most and what's most urgent is petitioning for court-ordered treatment at this point.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So I don't run a charity. What I have is a holistic mental health clinic here in Bellevue, Washington. I've partnered with a psychiatrist and addiction specialist who is integrated in his practice. He's also the chief medical officer at the largest behavioral health agency in the state of Washington. And so at our clinic, we offer holistic therapy.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Interventions such as blood testing, which I believe should be the very first step in any urgent mental health crisis, we need to test their blood and see what biological factors may be occurring. We offer IV therapy, and I could go on and on and on about the services there. And then at the Behavioral Health Agency, we're trying to make changes such as the new nonprofit called Camp HOPE.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So our CEO, Jodi Daly, I just attended this Saturday night. She is the CEO of Comprehensive Healthcare, the behavioral health agency. And she has personally herself been driving forward this new model of a shelter that has a behavioral health clinic at the center of it.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So anyone living at the shelter can walk outside of their independent living apartment and walk directly into a clinic where they have clinicians and physicians available all day, every day. And that has been a miracle.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
That is happening in Yakima, Washington, which is they're about two hours drive from the greater Seattle area. And in my personal opinion, from what I've seen from Washington State, it is by far the best model. They've been able to provide more behavioral health services and more housing solutions than any other organization in Washington State in only six months.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So they're making big, big change over there. Huge change. And they're doing it with virtually no money. So it's not hundreds of millions of dollars into these kinds of projects. They've been able to successfully launch and maintain their programs with virtually no budget. So this is what we're advocating for.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
That's a loaded question. So, you know, it's about bringing humanitarians together. I think that it speaks volumes when we're having a celebratory fundraiser and there was no cost to putting on the event. So these are the things you want to look for if you're looking to support an organization. It was hosted at a church. The entertainment volunteered their time.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
The culinary catering volunteered their time. We had people from the shelter helping to serve the dinner. The CEO, his name is Michael Kay, was offered a raise from the board of directors at Comprehensive, and he turned it down, saying that we can't afford to give me a raise right now.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
It's really about finding the right people who care. And you'll know if they're that type of person or not when you see this kind of evidence, right?
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
That specific model is in Yakima, Washington. I know that a bunch of leadership members went to Philadelphia last week, and they're also finding other models that are working there and trying to bring those here as well. So there's certainly people all over the U.S. doing really great things. This is just what's happening in my own vicinity. Yes.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Absolutely. Absolutely. And we're happy to share this model with anyone who wants to take a look at the blueprints and how they put it together. They're actually assembling shipping containers. We've had amazing testimonies. We've had homeless members of our community that have been 100% rehabilitated after the
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
Years and years and years of homelessness and polysubstance use and society had given up on them and they're fully rehabilitated and back in society. So I'm optimistic that this is a great model.
Tony Mantor: Why Not Me the World
Leanna May Franklin: Love Without Structure:Navigating Serious Mental Illness as a Family
So if my son were here with us today, he'd be sharing the songs that he writes. He'd be making you laugh. He's a big dreamer and he deserves to do just that every day. Every person with serious mental illness deserves the right to thrive and not just survive. So if you're listening, I want you to ask yourself, what can I do to make a difference? Okay.