Leona Macken

And we knew we'd go home then and tell them.

So, like, tell his family.

I was like, what do I tell the kids?

Do I say anything to the kids?

Do I just go on as if I'm normal?

Like, what do we do?

Like, we had no clue how long I had, how fast I was going to progress, whether I was going to get chemo.

you know, we just didn't know, like.

And then my mum actually took the kids for about five days because I couldn't look at them.

Every time I looked at them, I just bought my eyes out because I just kept seeing everything I wasn't going to be here for.

Like in my head, I was like, Drew was like five, Quinn was seven.

So I was like, OK, their life is going to be, their normal is me not to be in their life now because they're going to live a longer life without me in it.

then, you know, me being in it.

So that's all I could think of.

That's all that was going on in my head.

I'd fall asleep and I'd wake up going, oh my God, this is real.

Like, I wanted to just knock myself out constantly because reality was too scary, like.

And yeah, me and Alan just, I think I stayed in the house about five days and just cried and cried and cried and cried.

I never forget.

It was horrendous.