Leslie John

And the secret that comes to mind when I hear, listen to Tracy was these secrets of like kind of these moments of shared understanding and mind meld.

Like for example, when my work husband, my bestie at work, we should kind of share the same sense of taste in ideas.

And so when someone's presenting something and

we think it's boring.

We'll look at each other and we have this lovely little delightful grin.

Or my husband and I, when we have this shared understanding of something and we're at a dinner party and we just know that we're both thinking the same thing.

That's a beautiful, beautiful moment.

And it really enhances intimacy because it's the specialness of that person and that relationship.

There's one of my favorite psych studies, another oldie but goodie is

they got them to play footsie with each other underneath the table.

And they were having a conversation with other people there.

And half of the people that were playing footsie were supposed to keep it a secret.

And then they measured at the end, like how enjoyable that task was.

And it was the ones that played footsie that were charged with keeping, tasked with keeping it a secret that had the most fun, right?

So it's having this like special thing together that can be very fun and bonding and beautiful.

Yes, I love that.

I love that.

It can be really motivating.

And you can see even this, like at a group level, keeping secrets, positive secrets, like a surprise party.

Isn't it so fun when, you know, you're in on the fact that your friend is having a surprise 40th for their spouse and then you're at the soccer field and you see the spouse and you see their friends and you all have these like furtive, lovely glances.