Lilly Sullivan

And the thought that he's not here to tell us, it makes him feel so... gone. Like we had a favorite photo of him, and we have no idea where it is anymore. When my dad died, it was sudden. And it devastated me. As time passes, we've lost so much of him. His clothes have lost his smell of wool and sawdust and too much Tide laundry detergent. And this, it was like losing a big piece of him again.

And the thought that he's not here to tell us, it makes him feel so... gone. Like we had a favorite photo of him, and we have no idea where it is anymore. When my dad died, it was sudden. And it devastated me. As time passes, we've lost so much of him. His clothes have lost his smell of wool and sawdust and too much Tide laundry detergent. And this, it was like losing a big piece of him again.

Because in his absence, and in our negligence, we simply forgot to remember. Unforgivable. I had to fix this. I had to get to the truth. I force the three of them, Manolita, Anita, and my mom, to sit down together to try to work this out. Come to some agreement about what happened and where. Anita is stunned to hear that my mom and Manolita don't think she was in the car.

Because in his absence, and in our negligence, we simply forgot to remember. Unforgivable. I had to fix this. I had to get to the truth. I force the three of them, Manolita, Anita, and my mom, to sit down together to try to work this out. Come to some agreement about what happened and where. Anita is stunned to hear that my mom and Manolita don't think she was in the car.

So yeah, my story's not going to change.

So yeah, my story's not going to change.

Mom turns to me. I don't remember anything wrong. She tells the others they weren't even in a car. But Manolita, you remember him hitchhiking and you were driving and you pulled over, right? Yeah, of course. That's why I picked him up. She remembers walking, that you all were walking. No, we were not walking. Oh yeah, I was driving.

Mom turns to me. I don't remember anything wrong. She tells the others they weren't even in a car. But Manolita, you remember him hitchhiking and you were driving and you pulled over, right? Yeah, of course. That's why I picked him up. She remembers walking, that you all were walking. No, we were not walking. Oh yeah, I was driving.

This went nowhere. And the fact that we've been telling this hitchhiking story for 50 years, and my mom's never mentioned that she thinks it's complete bullshit, I have to say, that's very much like my mom. She's eminently capable of keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself. She has feelings, obviously. But she shows love in concrete ways. An unasked-for plate of fruit. A bowl of soup.

This went nowhere. And the fact that we've been telling this hitchhiking story for 50 years, and my mom's never mentioned that she thinks it's complete bullshit, I have to say, that's very much like my mom. She's eminently capable of keeping her thoughts and feelings to herself. She has feelings, obviously. But she shows love in concrete ways. An unasked-for plate of fruit. A bowl of soup.

She'd give me her kidney or hide a body for me, no questions asked. But sitting around gabbing about feelings? Not her thing. She finds that trying. She'll either roll her eyes or blurt out something explosive and walk away. Or clam up. Here's us in the car. Mom, so, but, but, I just, is it interesting to you that you have one memory and other people have a different memory? Is it interesting?

She'd give me her kidney or hide a body for me, no questions asked. But sitting around gabbing about feelings? Not her thing. She finds that trying. She'll either roll her eyes or blurt out something explosive and walk away. Or clam up. Here's us in the car. Mom, so, but, but, I just, is it interesting to you that you have one memory and other people have a different memory? Is it interesting?

I know, I know, but is it interesting? I want to talk about the feelings of it. That's good. Yeah, that's how we met. Yeah, but what's it like? How do you feel? Nothing. It's okay. She gets impatient. She dodges. In response, I get impatient with her. About everything. I compulsively nitpick everything she does. Can you put your bag in back? There's no noise. It's too much noise.

I know, I know, but is it interesting? I want to talk about the feelings of it. That's good. Yeah, that's how we met. Yeah, but what's it like? How do you feel? Nothing. It's okay. She gets impatient. She dodges. In response, I get impatient with her. About everything. I compulsively nitpick everything she does. Can you put your bag in back? There's no noise. It's too much noise.

Rustling that bag makes noise that gets on the mic, I tell her. So does her beaded necklace. Could you take off your necklace? Yeah. Rather than engage with me, she whips out her little pot of Mary Kay cold cream and starts stabbing it on her cheeks and forehead. Let's focus. Okay.

Rustling that bag makes noise that gets on the mic, I tell her. So does her beaded necklace. Could you take off your necklace? Yeah. Rather than engage with me, she whips out her little pot of Mary Kay cold cream and starts stabbing it on her cheeks and forehead. Let's focus. Okay.

I'm a nightmare. She lets it go. She's a good mom. Of course, the day my parents met, there was one other person there. My dad. I'd interviewed him in 2010, years before he died. Before he even got sick. I've never been able to bring myself to listen to that recording. Just too hard. So I had no memory of what we talked about that day.

I'm a nightmare. She lets it go. She's a good mom. Of course, the day my parents met, there was one other person there. My dad. I'd interviewed him in 2010, years before he died. Before he even got sick. I've never been able to bring myself to listen to that recording. Just too hard. So I had no memory of what we talked about that day.

But I had a hunch that if I'd done an interview with him, I would have asked him to tell me this story. I had no idea where this interview was, but I'd given him a copy and I knew he would have kept it. The week I talked to my mom, I spent hours digging through old file cabinets and boxes in the garage. I finally found it one night at 2 a.m.

But I had a hunch that if I'd done an interview with him, I would have asked him to tell me this story. I had no idea where this interview was, but I'd given him a copy and I knew he would have kept it. The week I talked to my mom, I spent hours digging through old file cabinets and boxes in the garage. I finally found it one night at 2 a.m.