Lisa Bilyeu

Instead of trying to hide it, instead of trying to be embarrassed by it, I just say, right now, I'm really irritable, so I can't make any decisions. I need to go and eat. I need to sleep. I need my nine hours. What are the things that are going to allow me to have what I call emotional sobriety? And emotional sobriety is when you are not allowing your emotions to make a decision.

Now, it's not that I don't think emotions are important. I actually think emotions are very important because they're going to be signals to tell you something that you may be ignoring. If you're irritable, okay, well, what are you ignoring? Don't ignore the feeling. Actually address, why am I feeling like that? The problem is, I think, then people, they don't do that work.

Now, it's not that I don't think emotions are important. I actually think emotions are very important because they're going to be signals to tell you something that you may be ignoring. If you're irritable, okay, well, what are you ignoring? Don't ignore the feeling. Actually address, why am I feeling like that? The problem is, I think, then people, they don't do that work.

And so they take their feelings as facts. And I'm very aware that my feelings are not facts. So now when I approach a situation, I address why I'm feeling a certain way, but I then try to see the scenario for what it is instead of how I feel. And if people still aren't with me, here's the perfect analogy. Have you drunk an alcohol before, Ilana? Of course. Okay.

And so they take their feelings as facts. And I'm very aware that my feelings are not facts. So now when I approach a situation, I address why I'm feeling a certain way, but I then try to see the scenario for what it is instead of how I feel. And if people still aren't with me, here's the perfect analogy. Have you drunk an alcohol before, Ilana? Of course. Okay.

So what do you like if you had one shot of vodka?

So what do you like if you had one shot of vodka?

Okay, there you go. So what I was going to say is the shot number one, I get giggly. Shot number two, I'm very loud. Shot number three, I'm dancing on the table and kissing the security on the way out of the club. I just know that with every shot of vodka, I am going to have a response that in a way that doesn't actually align with who I really am.

Okay, there you go. So what I was going to say is the shot number one, I get giggly. Shot number two, I'm very loud. Shot number three, I'm dancing on the table and kissing the security on the way out of the club. I just know that with every shot of vodka, I am going to have a response that in a way that doesn't actually align with who I really am.

If we can all agree there, then why can we not just say the same as for emotions? If you have a shot of frustration, if you have a shot of anger, if you have a shot of upset or a shot of disrespect, if you have too many shots of that, what's going to happen? You're going to respond in a way that isn't accurate to who you really are. If we can just agree I just then say, when have I had my shots?

If we can all agree there, then why can we not just say the same as for emotions? If you have a shot of frustration, if you have a shot of anger, if you have a shot of upset or a shot of disrespect, if you have too many shots of that, what's going to happen? You're going to respond in a way that isn't accurate to who you really are. If we can just agree I just then say, when have I had my shots?

And if I've already had my one shot of anger, then you can't make business decisions. If I've had two shots, I better freaking walk away. I don't beat myself up over feeling it and I don't pretend it doesn't exist. In knowing all of that, now I know in moments where I'm bringing emotion to the table and I can't have this discussion. In fact, this just happened like a week ago with my husband.

And if I've already had my one shot of anger, then you can't make business decisions. If I've had two shots, I better freaking walk away. I don't beat myself up over feeling it and I don't pretend it doesn't exist. In knowing all of that, now I know in moments where I'm bringing emotion to the table and I can't have this discussion. In fact, this just happened like a week ago with my husband.

He said something that triggered me. I realized I was triggered. And I said, look, I know you didn't mean to trigger me right now. I'm having an emotional response. I don't think it's healthy if we keep talking. Let me walk away and I'll come back once I'm emotionally sober. And I actually said those words. It's not like I pretended to say those words. I actually said those words.

He said something that triggered me. I realized I was triggered. And I said, look, I know you didn't mean to trigger me right now. I'm having an emotional response. I don't think it's healthy if we keep talking. Let me walk away and I'll come back once I'm emotionally sober. And I actually said those words. It's not like I pretended to say those words. I actually said those words.

And what my husband did, he was like, all right, thank you for being honest. Thank you for just not storming off, being moody, pretending like a lot of us do. Like, no, I'm not upset. What do you mean? Right? It's like, everyone can tell that you're upset. So

And what my husband did, he was like, all right, thank you for being honest. Thank you for just not storming off, being moody, pretending like a lot of us do. Like, no, I'm not upset. What do you mean? Right? It's like, everyone can tell that you're upset. So

That is how I handle emotions in moments where I don't feel good enough, emotional moments where I don't feel like I can really bring my all. I just admit it. I know what to do about it. And then I'm always acting in accordance. And the last piece that I want to make sure everyone hears, I do all of this without shame and guilt.

That is how I handle emotions in moments where I don't feel good enough, emotional moments where I don't feel like I can really bring my all. I just admit it. I know what to do about it. And then I'm always acting in accordance. And the last piece that I want to make sure everyone hears, I do all of this without shame and guilt.

Yeah. So here's the thing about this. There's going to be two things. There's going to be one thing where people are going to throw hate and it's really not going to bother you. Probably the reason why it won't bother you is because you don't feel it. It's not true to you. So if someone says, oh my God, Lisa, I hate that you're five foot one. It's all right. I hate that I'm 5'1".