Loretta Ross

And she had one boy tell another boy, we don't say that word, you know, blah, blah, blah. You are a jerk for trying to say that word, that kind of thing. And I had her rewrite that passage, because if you're going to use the calling in technique, it wouldn't have been, Das ist eine tolle Erklärung, wie man jemanden anrufen kann.

And she had one boy tell another boy, we don't say that word, you know, blah, blah, blah. You are a jerk for trying to say that word, that kind of thing. And I had her rewrite that passage, because if you're going to use the calling in technique, it wouldn't have been, Das ist eine tolle Erklärung, wie man jemanden anrufen kann.

And she had one boy tell another boy, we don't say that word, you know, blah, blah, blah. You are a jerk for trying to say that word, that kind of thing. And I had her rewrite that passage, because if you're going to use the calling in technique, it wouldn't have been, Das ist eine tolle Erklärung, wie man jemanden anrufen kann.

Well, there's some preparation you have to do before you call somebody in. First you have to pause and take a deep breath. Because in that pause you're going to call yourself in first. And I find, as I said earlier, if I swallow that first trauma reaction and then give time for my integrity and intelligence to take over, that second thing I say is going to be the one that better represents me.

Well, there's some preparation you have to do before you call somebody in. First you have to pause and take a deep breath. Because in that pause you're going to call yourself in first. And I find, as I said earlier, if I swallow that first trauma reaction and then give time for my integrity and intelligence to take over, that second thing I say is going to be the one that better represents me.

Well, there's some preparation you have to do before you call somebody in. First you have to pause and take a deep breath. Because in that pause you're going to call yourself in first. And I find, as I said earlier, if I swallow that first trauma reaction and then give time for my integrity and intelligence to take over, that second thing I say is going to be the one that better represents me.

And by the way, Wenn du jemals einen Teenager geboren hast, weißt du das instinktiv. Weil wenn du das erste Mal aus deinem Mund sagst, wenn dir dein Teenager etwas falsch kommt, wird er in der Therapie für das Leben sein. Ich weine. Die Kinder pressen dich in den schlimmsten Zeiten. Aber lasst uns das instinktiv ausdrücken, was wir tun. Der zweite Schritt ist, ein Selbstassessment zu machen.

And by the way, Wenn du jemals einen Teenager geboren hast, weißt du das instinktiv. Weil wenn du das erste Mal aus deinem Mund sagst, wenn dir dein Teenager etwas falsch kommt, wird er in der Therapie für das Leben sein. Ich weine. Die Kinder pressen dich in den schlimmsten Zeiten. Aber lasst uns das instinktiv ausdrücken, was wir tun. Der zweite Schritt ist, ein Selbstassessment zu machen.

And by the way, Wenn du jemals einen Teenager geboren hast, weißt du das instinktiv. Weil wenn du das erste Mal aus deinem Mund sagst, wenn dir dein Teenager etwas falsch kommt, wird er in der Therapie für das Leben sein. Ich weine. Die Kinder pressen dich in den schlimmsten Zeiten. Aber lasst uns das instinktiv ausdrücken, was wir tun. Der zweite Schritt ist, ein Selbstassessment zu machen.

Because if you're not in a healed enough space for building a container for this conversation that you're going to have with somebody that you may disagree with, you may dislike, that you may be misunderstood by, all of the things that could go wrong in a conversation between two people who are trying to feel each other out and see how we can find out how we can communicate.

Because if you're not in a healed enough space for building a container for this conversation that you're going to have with somebody that you may disagree with, you may dislike, that you may be misunderstood by, all of the things that could go wrong in a conversation between two people who are trying to feel each other out and see how we can find out how we can communicate.

Because if you're not in a healed enough space for building a container for this conversation that you're going to have with somebody that you may disagree with, you may dislike, that you may be misunderstood by, all of the things that could go wrong in a conversation between two people who are trying to feel each other out and see how we can find out how we can communicate.

We're not as good as hiding how we actually feel as we think we are. And then After you've done that self-assessment, step three is to choose what your reaction is going to be by calibrating the conflict. Do I need a call out? Or can I just call on them to do better? Or should I call it off because this is going to be an unproductive conversation?

We're not as good as hiding how we actually feel as we think we are. And then After you've done that self-assessment, step three is to choose what your reaction is going to be by calibrating the conflict. Do I need a call out? Or can I just call on them to do better? Or should I call it off because this is going to be an unproductive conversation?

We're not as good as hiding how we actually feel as we think we are. And then After you've done that self-assessment, step three is to choose what your reaction is going to be by calibrating the conflict. Do I need a call out? Or can I just call on them to do better? Or should I call it off because this is going to be an unproductive conversation?

Or should I just get them cancelled because they had a chance to do better and now they're causing a whole lot of harm and they're refusing to be accountable? There's a buffet of options we have. One of the things that I say that's easily understood by people is that you can say what you mean and you can mean what you say, but you don't have to say it mean. That's always a choice.

Or should I just get them cancelled because they had a chance to do better and now they're causing a whole lot of harm and they're refusing to be accountable? There's a buffet of options we have. One of the things that I say that's easily understood by people is that you can say what you mean and you can mean what you say, but you don't have to say it mean. That's always a choice.

Or should I just get them cancelled because they had a chance to do better and now they're causing a whole lot of harm and they're refusing to be accountable? There's a buffet of options we have. One of the things that I say that's easily understood by people is that you can say what you mean and you can mean what you say, but you don't have to say it mean. That's always a choice.

Never pretend that it isn't. You have a choice about tone and temperature and register. Always. And of course I believe Maya Angelou when she says, people may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. And when I call on somebody or call them out or call them in, I want them to feel like I sincerely respect them and I've heard them.

Never pretend that it isn't. You have a choice about tone and temperature and register. Always. And of course I believe Maya Angelou when she says, people may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. And when I call on somebody or call them out or call them in, I want them to feel like I sincerely respect them and I've heard them.