Louis Tomlinson

People, like, life's really, really expensive at that age.

People are, like, up to their eyes in student loans.

It was only about two years ago that I put all the plaques up on my wall at home and my awards, like the Brit Awards and stuff that I got in the past from the band.

They still annoy me even now in my lounge.

Because like if I'm having a conversation with someone, I don't even really want, like I don't, I want to just be me.

I don't want to be that guy that won those awards.

Like we can be and we can conversate like that.

But truthfully, like if someone, if Nizam came over to my house for like a chat and a coffee and,

I would hate that the conversation might end up then gravitating to me or my success.

It's much more about just what those relationships and conversations look like in the real world.

That's what I'm craving, is that real normality.

All I want...

is to just be on an even playing field with everyone in any kind of conversation.

I think that was the toughest thing to deal with is just the lack of normality in every sense of the word.

How does things like alcohol play into this?

Because you're living a crazy, crazy life where your dopamine and your brain is being tested in all different ways.

I remember Liam saying to me, this is really when he started to have a problem with alcohol in the early years of the band.

And I'll never forget him talking to me about the mini bar in the room.

like one of the things I didn't realise is okay you've just been out on stage in front of 100,000 people then you're back in a hotel room with a minibar

feel the pull from alcohol.