Lucinda Holdforth

Oh, I heard stories that were so upsetting.

One woman living next to her parents brought dinner to them every night

Traumatic events like one time mother decided she'd have a shower on her own.

The father came in and found her.

She pulled her down.

So my friend found both of them on the floor in the bathroom.

I think it's underestimated how traumatic those experiences are.

It's not gentle sometimes.

It's very ugly.

A paramedic told me that now more and more there are cases of falls at home that they're called out to.

So that's now a very common ambulance problem as well.

And people can find themselves lying for hours.

My Aunty Poppy lay in her garden for six hours, broken up.

I've had women get in touch with me and say, thank you very much for saying it's hard.

And thank you very much for acknowledging that there is us, there is relief once your parents have passed and you're past that stage of that incredible burden, not just of care, but really of responsibility.

So for many, your parents are at home as long as possible and that's great.

Then they move into aged care and then there's a new job, which is the administrative and financial and advocate role that you have to do.

these are all new things and it's very complex navigating the health system and so on.

So for a lot of them, it's extremely wearing, it's upsetting.

And once their parents are gone, there's a feeling, a guilty feeling of relief.