Marcia Gay Harden

These aren't plastic. These are the kind that you use, put in the dishwasher and you put back in the drawer. So I confront my family and I'm like, I believe that somebody in this house is throwing away forks or taking forks out of this house and not returning to this house because we're short like six forks. They all minimize. They all ridicule. Right. Nobody takes me seriously. Right.

These aren't plastic. These are the kind that you use, put in the dishwasher and you put back in the drawer. So I confront my family and I'm like, I believe that somebody in this house is throwing away forks or taking forks out of this house and not returning to this house because we're short like six forks. They all minimize. They all ridicule. Right. Nobody takes me seriously. Right.

Well, now bring it to 2025 and we're about 10 forks down. Okay. So that means we probably have about eight to nine left in the silverware drawer. Right. So, and I just refuse to buy anymore. I just, I'm not going to enable this type of fork abduction. Right. On my watch. Okay.

Well, now bring it to 2025 and we're about 10 forks down. Okay. So that means we probably have about eight to nine left in the silverware drawer. Right. So, and I just refuse to buy anymore. I just, I'm not going to enable this type of fork abduction. Right. On my watch. Okay.

Well, now bring it to 2025 and we're about 10 forks down. Okay. So that means we probably have about eight to nine left in the silverware drawer. Right. So, and I just refuse to buy anymore. I just, I'm not going to enable this type of fork abduction. Right. On my watch. Okay.

Right. It is. And so Roman comes into my room the other night. And listen, Roman is my youngest son. And he comes into my room and he's like, hey, mom, where are the forks? And he has like a plate in his hand. I go, I don't know, Roman. You tell me. And he goes, are you up with this conspiracy theory about the forks again, mom? I go, it isn't a conspiracy theory because where are the forks, Roman?

Right. It is. And so Roman comes into my room the other night. And listen, Roman is my youngest son. And he comes into my room and he's like, hey, mom, where are the forks? And he has like a plate in his hand. I go, I don't know, Roman. You tell me. And he goes, are you up with this conspiracy theory about the forks again, mom? I go, it isn't a conspiracy theory because where are the forks, Roman?

Right. It is. And so Roman comes into my room the other night. And listen, Roman is my youngest son. And he comes into my room and he's like, hey, mom, where are the forks? And he has like a plate in his hand. I go, I don't know, Roman. You tell me. And he goes, are you up with this conspiracy theory about the forks again, mom? I go, it isn't a conspiracy theory because where are the forks, Roman?

They didn't grow legs and walk their skinny asses out of this house. You and your brother and your father have done something with them. And I want to know. One day, oh, it was probably about six months ago, I opened up the trash and there was like a takeout box. And I saw this little silverware, it's like a black metal. And I saw this black thing sticking out the side of it.

They didn't grow legs and walk their skinny asses out of this house. You and your brother and your father have done something with them. And I want to know. One day, oh, it was probably about six months ago, I opened up the trash and there was like a takeout box. And I saw this little silverware, it's like a black metal. And I saw this black thing sticking out the side of it.

They didn't grow legs and walk their skinny asses out of this house. You and your brother and your father have done something with them. And I want to know. One day, oh, it was probably about six months ago, I opened up the trash and there was like a takeout box. And I saw this little silverware, it's like a black metal. And I saw this black thing sticking out the side of it.

And guess what it was? A fork. Yeah, these MFers are throwing away our forks and trying to make me the asshole. And then when there isn't a fork available because they're all dirty in the dishwasher, they want to ask me where the forks are. And I just flip the script. I don't know. You tell me. You tell me where the forks are, Roman.

And guess what it was? A fork. Yeah, these MFers are throwing away our forks and trying to make me the asshole. And then when there isn't a fork available because they're all dirty in the dishwasher, they want to ask me where the forks are. And I just flip the script. I don't know. You tell me. You tell me where the forks are, Roman.

And guess what it was? A fork. Yeah, these MFers are throwing away our forks and trying to make me the asshole. And then when there isn't a fork available because they're all dirty in the dishwasher, they want to ask me where the forks are. And I just flip the script. I don't know. You tell me. You tell me where the forks are, Roman.

He was like, he looked at me and he goes, oh my God, are you back with this fork conspiracy Siri thing again, mom? And I'm like, yeah, it is a conspiracy. All of you against the forks and me.

He was like, he looked at me and he goes, oh my God, are you back with this fork conspiracy Siri thing again, mom? And I'm like, yeah, it is a conspiracy. All of you against the forks and me.

He was like, he looked at me and he goes, oh my God, are you back with this fork conspiracy Siri thing again, mom? And I'm like, yeah, it is a conspiracy. All of you against the forks and me.

Yeah. And you know, when you think about these conservative commentators who try to belittle people that don't have children and make them feel bad and they're not worthy women and all this stuff. And I'll tell you what, I bet these childless cat ladies, I bet all of their forks are accounted for. There's no question. Ducks in a row, lined up, ready to just stick their hearts into things.

Yeah. And you know, when you think about these conservative commentators who try to belittle people that don't have children and make them feel bad and they're not worthy women and all this stuff. And I'll tell you what, I bet these childless cat ladies, I bet all of their forks are accounted for. There's no question. Ducks in a row, lined up, ready to just stick their hearts into things.

Yeah. And you know, when you think about these conservative commentators who try to belittle people that don't have children and make them feel bad and they're not worthy women and all this stuff. And I'll tell you what, I bet these childless cat ladies, I bet all of their forks are accounted for. There's no question. Ducks in a row, lined up, ready to just stick their hearts into things.