Maria

And so my experience was she lived at the end of the hall behind these two padded doors that there was no way she could hear me if I knocked on the door. And I just grew up thinking, well, gosh, I guess that's how people are. Their mothers live behind padded doors. And then I would see other kids whose mothers didn't live behind padded doors. And my parents had separate bedrooms.

And so my experience was she lived at the end of the hall behind these two padded doors that there was no way she could hear me if I knocked on the door. And I just grew up thinking, well, gosh, I guess that's how people are. Their mothers live behind padded doors. And then I would see other kids whose mothers didn't live behind padded doors. And my parents had separate bedrooms.

And I grew up like that. And I started to think later in life, like, what was she doing? doing behind those padded doors what was she trying to keep out what was she afraid of and um it brings me great grief to think of her behind the doors and to think of me and my brothers in front of the doors Yeah, trying to get in.

And I grew up like that. And I started to think later in life, like, what was she doing? doing behind those padded doors what was she trying to keep out what was she afraid of and um it brings me great grief to think of her behind the doors and to think of me and my brothers in front of the doors Yeah, trying to get in.

And I grew up like that. And I started to think later in life, like, what was she doing? doing behind those padded doors what was she trying to keep out what was she afraid of and um it brings me great grief to think of her behind the doors and to think of me and my brothers in front of the doors Yeah, trying to get in.

And I think that, you know, I think I started to think about in what way was I doing that? In what way did I have padded doors in my own life?

And I think that, you know, I think I started to think about in what way was I doing that? In what way did I have padded doors in my own life?

And I think that, you know, I think I started to think about in what way was I doing that? In what way did I have padded doors in my own life?

Well, you know, both of my uncles had been killed. So there was this feeling in my family that people were getting killed. And so I thought, well, we're all going to get killed.

Well, you know, both of my uncles had been killed. So there was this feeling in my family that people were getting killed. And so I thought, well, we're all going to get killed.

Well, you know, both of my uncles had been killed. So there was this feeling in my family that people were getting killed. And so I thought, well, we're all going to get killed.

Yeah. And I lived in this house way out in the woods, lived next to a mental institution. And I just was terrified all the time. I was an only girl, as I said, and the feeling of like somebody's going to come in here, the house creaked. Yeah. the house. And it was scary.

Yeah. And I lived in this house way out in the woods, lived next to a mental institution. And I just was terrified all the time. I was an only girl, as I said, and the feeling of like somebody's going to come in here, the house creaked. Yeah. the house. And it was scary.

Yeah. And I lived in this house way out in the woods, lived next to a mental institution. And I just was terrified all the time. I was an only girl, as I said, and the feeling of like somebody's going to come in here, the house creaked. Yeah. the house. And it was scary.

And nobody picked me up and said, it's going to be OK. What are you feeling? The idea of somebody talking to me about my feelings was so foreign. I don't think that happened until it was in my 20s or 30s or somebody would ask me how I feel. And I'd be like, fine. What? What do you mean? How do I feel? I don't know how I feel. Just keep going. Let's keep working.

And nobody picked me up and said, it's going to be OK. What are you feeling? The idea of somebody talking to me about my feelings was so foreign. I don't think that happened until it was in my 20s or 30s or somebody would ask me how I feel. And I'd be like, fine. What? What do you mean? How do I feel? I don't know how I feel. Just keep going. Let's keep working.

And nobody picked me up and said, it's going to be OK. What are you feeling? The idea of somebody talking to me about my feelings was so foreign. I don't think that happened until it was in my 20s or 30s or somebody would ask me how I feel. And I'd be like, fine. What? What do you mean? How do I feel? I don't know how I feel. Just keep going. Let's keep working.

And I think it wasn't until really, you know, conversations that we would have or that I'd start to be thinking, wow, I think I should be feeling something. I don't know what I'm feeling. And then as I became a mother, I started to feel. I, you know, gave birth. I was always terrified to become a mother.

And I think it wasn't until really, you know, conversations that we would have or that I'd start to be thinking, wow, I think I should be feeling something. I don't know what I'm feeling. And then as I became a mother, I started to feel. I, you know, gave birth. I was always terrified to become a mother.

And I think it wasn't until really, you know, conversations that we would have or that I'd start to be thinking, wow, I think I should be feeling something. I don't know what I'm feeling. And then as I became a mother, I started to feel. I, you know, gave birth. I was always terrified to become a mother.