Marie Gleeson

And we had a very challenging weekend in Crumlin with a phenomenal team.

Like, you know, I talk a lot in the book about what it's like to be at sea and to be a captain of a ship and be involved in all these big search and rescues and drug missions and what we do.

But actually, when you're in a paediatric ICU and you see the intensity of what the medical team are working with, like these tiny babies, the micro dosing, the stress and the decision making that they're carrying.

And they were so good to us, like because our families weren't there.

Mine were down at the removal and John's got a bug and couldn't come in because they have to be so careful of any kind of illness or infection.

And like, I would not wish on my worst enemy, you know, those last couple of hours with Ciarán, because whilst it was...

In some ways, great that we got that because my biggest fear was that he would be born, stillborn, and we wouldn't get any time with him.

But, you know, it's not something any parent should ever have to do is hold their baby in their arms.

It's just not it's not right in any shape or form.

But again, I have his eternity ring on my finger.

That's why I'm looking at it there.

But my granny for me waited for Ciarán.

So like what kept me going then was that he was going to somebody who was going to mind him.

And I think that was a huge piece for me.

And I think the whole navigation of storms and grief and life, like I come from a dairy farm.

I knew nothing about the sea.

And then I end up on a ship at sea and I'm learning to navigate and I'm learning what to do when you come off course and how do you survive a storm?

And sometimes it's literally put the nose of the ship into the waves and slow down and just ride that storm.

And I think those kind of lessons really helped me and I leaned in a lot to that kind of

mindset of, you know, even if I don't want to get up, even if we can't think about surviving, we will survive.