Marilyn Koolstra

He knew that he wouldn't be doing such trips ever again with somebody, you know, that really had the same passion. And he was hopeful that I would retire earlier, perhaps, and, you know, join him on some of those walks that he wanted to do.

He knew that he wouldn't be doing such trips ever again with somebody, you know, that really had the same passion. And he was hopeful that I would retire earlier, perhaps, and, you know, join him on some of those walks that he wanted to do.

But Marilyn still wasn't ready to retire. Eric felt disappointed, even frustrated. He said if she wouldn't retire, he'd just keep trekking alone. Life had taught Marilyn the value of independence. She believed in Eric's right to autonomy as well as her own. But that belief was crashing like a wave against a wall of fear. She couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

But Marilyn still wasn't ready to retire. Eric felt disappointed, even frustrated. He said if she wouldn't retire, he'd just keep trekking alone. Life had taught Marilyn the value of independence. She believed in Eric's right to autonomy as well as her own. But that belief was crashing like a wave against a wall of fear. She couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

The act of loving Eric, by its nature, meant she did depend on him. Still, she forced herself to honor their agreement.

The act of loving Eric, by its nature, meant she did depend on him. Still, she forced herself to honor their agreement.

Understanding that you have separate interests or life journeys or stories or places that you want to pursue alone. You have your space to do that.

Understanding that you have separate interests or life journeys or stories or places that you want to pursue alone. You have your space to do that.

About six months after Alan's death, Eric headed to Scotland alone. He hiked the Cape Wrath Trail, touted as the toughest long-distance walk in the UK. He went to Tasmania six months after that to hike the Port Davie and South Coast tracks. These two trails cross an extremely remote stretch of wilderness along Tassie's windswept southern coast. Again, Eric walked alone.

About six months after Alan's death, Eric headed to Scotland alone. He hiked the Cape Wrath Trail, touted as the toughest long-distance walk in the UK. He went to Tasmania six months after that to hike the Port Davie and South Coast tracks. These two trails cross an extremely remote stretch of wilderness along Tassie's windswept southern coast. Again, Eric walked alone.

Both times, Marilyn caught herself wondering if something terrible might have happened during the weeks when her husband was out of contact. The anxiety felt corrosive. It ate at her like a cancer. So when Eric proposed his next big adventure, to Nepal, she refused to let him go alone.

Both times, Marilyn caught herself wondering if something terrible might have happened during the weeks when her husband was out of contact. The anxiety felt corrosive. It ate at her like a cancer. So when Eric proposed his next big adventure, to Nepal, she refused to let him go alone.

Eric dreamed of trekking in the Himalaya, or Himalayas in colonizer speak, home to the highest mountains on Earth. Annapurna is the 10th highest mountain in the world. The circuit is a long trekking route around the massive mountain.

Eric dreamed of trekking in the Himalaya, or Himalayas in colonizer speak, home to the highest mountains on Earth. Annapurna is the 10th highest mountain in the world. The circuit is a long trekking route around the massive mountain.

You can do it by yourself, which was what Eric liked to do. He didn't want to take guides, so he didn't want to have to have that constraint and responsibility more of another person.

You can do it by yourself, which was what Eric liked to do. He didn't want to take guides, so he didn't want to have to have that constraint and responsibility more of another person.

Completing the circuit would require three weeks, a much longer trek than any Marilyn had ever attempted. She wondered if she was up to the task. Altitude sickness is the biggest risk. It's a result of the body's response to lower oxygen pressure at higher elevations. And it can affect even conditioned athletes if they rush too high, too fast.

Completing the circuit would require three weeks, a much longer trek than any Marilyn had ever attempted. She wondered if she was up to the task. Altitude sickness is the biggest risk. It's a result of the body's response to lower oxygen pressure at higher elevations. And it can affect even conditioned athletes if they rush too high, too fast.

He hadn't really done anything of that altitude, neither had I. Crossing the circuit's highest point, Thurong Law Pass, would put Eric and Marilyn both at risk for altitude sickness. If left untreated, altitude sickness can cause cerebral or pulmonary edema, life-threatening conditions where fluid builds up around the brain or lungs.

He hadn't really done anything of that altitude, neither had I. Crossing the circuit's highest point, Thurong Law Pass, would put Eric and Marilyn both at risk for altitude sickness. If left untreated, altitude sickness can cause cerebral or pulmonary edema, life-threatening conditions where fluid builds up around the brain or lungs.