Marissa

But then going through the justice system and seeing so many different people who knew better, who were trained better,

who were getting paid to help victims, it was so shocking to me and so traumatizing to be continuously hopeful about something happening and continuously just shattered over and over and over again for three years.

People can endure a lot, but enduring continuous disappointment like that for three years, it really changed me as a person and changed the way that I feel about people and for a long time, the way I felt about myself.

That was very shocking for me and a huge worry for me for other victims that might go through this in the future.

The only solace that I take is that if next time he does something, that it will be so much easier for the next woman.

I think that's so important to note because I don't really know what people think victims benefit from through reporting.

I don't know why someone would bring up a false allegation because they wanted attention or any aspect of it because it is such a difficult process.

When the assault happened, that was obviously a trauma in and of itself.

But there was still that hope on the other side of, okay, I know the police are supposed to help me.

These are the places I'm being directed to go to the universities to get help.

I still had a hope that I would get help that I needed.

And so then going through the institutional betrayal that I went through and the systemic betrayal that I went through, I think that that is when my hope was really crushed.

That's the hard thing to get back.

Just your hope and belief in safety and in the people that are supposed to keep you safe.

I think that this is such a quiet process.

You have to keep a lot of things kind of under wraps just for the legal system to keep the integrity of your case.

Now that the court proceedings are over and I'm able to talk about it from my perspective and my truth, it's been so refreshing to see the support that I feel like I didn't really have during the court process.

It's been really refreshing for me to be able to tell

my side and talk about it a little more and to have that support.

I know how much you've talked to me and how much emotional energy you've put into me.