Mark Gagnon

Is that bad?

All right, let me rephrase that.

If you're thinking the most beautiful woman in the world, you're assuming, oh, she's not a criminal.

You don't want someone that's going to murder you.

You assume that she's not psychotic.

You assume that she's single.

No STIs?

No, I think beautiful women are going to have STIs, actually.

I think perhaps the most beautiful woman.

Probably, right?

Anyway, now, this guy's the king of Sparta, and Paras sails to Sparta, and whether he seduced her or abducted her depends on, like, which version you read.

But either way, Helen is now chilling with Paras and is going back to Troy.

And now Menelaus wants her back, because obviously it's his wife, A, and B, she's the hottest woman in the world.

But he had a secret weapon that Paras knew nothing about.

So before Helen had married Menelaus, she had dozens of suitors.

Every king and prince and, I mean, just everyone in Greece.

They wanted a piece.

And her father, fearing that the rejected suitors would start a war amongst themselves.

I mean, that's how bad this girl was.

He basically made them all swear an oath.