Mark Manson

It's because we don't feel like doing it.

The reason you don't get off the couch and go to the gym isn't because you don't know it's good for you.

It's because you don't feel like doing it.

And so identity change, becoming a new person is ultimately an emotional process, which fucking sucks because emotions are hard.

They're hard to identify, they're hard to understand, and they're hard to deal with.

They're hard to change.

They're hard to change, and it's hard to do something contrary to your emotions.

If I'm angry at somebody, it's hard to be nice to them.

If I'm sad about something, it's hard to be enthusiastic and motivated.

So the whole difficulty around change is fundamentally boiled down to this.

How do you do things that you don't feel like doing?

All this is to say is that behavioral change is primarily an emotional problem, not a rational problem.

The information is the easy part.

You know, as my friend Derek Sivers likes to say, if change was as easy as more information, we would all be billionaires with six packs, but we're not.

Because the difficulty is getting our emotions to align with what we know is better for ourselves.

As the chariot riders in our brains, getting our horses lined up and pointed in the right direction.

Now, most people assume that the way to do this, the way to handle an emotional problem, is to just brute force it.

Is to just summon as much willpower as possible to push down any doubts or reservations and just like...

almost like abuse yourself until you do the fucking thing.

And that can work in bits and spurts.