Martha Beck

So there's some people tell me,

They want to control everything in their children's or their spouse's lives because they love them so much.

And I call that when you're trying to control or manipulate someone and you're calling it love, it's what I call spider love.

I remember that.

Because a spider loves flies, right?

Like genuinely loves them because they're so delicious.

So the way that spider expresses its love is to wrap something up alive and

So it cannot move and then take out its life force little by little.

And it loves that fly.

Mmm, delicious.

I thought we just called that mothering.

Or wifing.

Or husbanding.

But the point is...

Real love always sets the beloved free.

So if you allow yourself to live by love, if you were to love yourself and this social constraint that's trying to keep you in its spider grip says, no, you stay where we want you.

Let us take your life force.

Every time you do something like that, it's taking a bit of your life force out and

And it's a huge risk to stop.

It's huge.