Martha Beck

I am so broken by the diagnosis.

I'm not as good a person as you are.

So I'm like, I hate life and I want to die.

When you get to the place where you hate life and you want to die and you actually let that part of you die, there's still something left and it comes to its senses.

It's like, it's often a place where no social pressure can reach.

And it kind of raises its head out of the crowd of the world and says, okay, over here, come here.

And it is whatever your belief system is a profoundly mystical experience and I actually did my dissertation on this at Harvard I had to be very careful about it.

But after I had Adam it was like they said you've thrown your career away and I thought well I'll just go back to finish my dissertation in Provo, Utah.

where I grew up and everyone will understand why I didn't have an abortion and they'll all be proud of me, which they were.

But then I went there and figured out I was a lesbian.

So I went to Harvard to have a child with intellectual disabilities.

Then I went to Utah and became a lesbian.

And people ask me for advice.

I'm telling you, the world is insane.

I have no knowledge of anything.

But I just know that if you come to your senses in any given moment, the knowledge of what to do next is there.

It's not in the brain, but it's in all the senses.

It's in every single bit of you.

Once the clamor of consensus is gone.

But wait, wait, it was actually a four-way.