Martin Phillips
👤 SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
Make some noise for Mushroom Matt, everyone.
So I'm a bartender, right?
Been bartending for over a decade.
I've made thousands of drinks.
People order some weird-ass shit online.
And like, I don't blink, but one thing does throw me off though.
And that's when people ordered their drinks virgin.
I don't get it, I've never fucked a drink before serving it to a customer.
You know, I don't pop the cherry before I garnish your Manhattan.
I love alcohol, but I'm not gonna stick my dick in your whiskey tonic.
That's a health code violation.
So as a bartender, I've had a lot of different jobs, like a lot.
I've worked at over 40 different restaurants
My friends say I'm a bar slut.
And, you know, it's a good thing you can't catch an STD from working at a bunch of restaurants.
Actually, I take that back.
Don't sleep with the cocktail waitresses at P.F.
Chang's or Buffalo Wild Wings.