Martin Phillips

It's known as the Memphis Strangler, the Vanilla Gorilla, the Big Red Machine, live in the flesh.

This is William Montgomery.

I like to buy my dogs from the pound because I like my dogs to be hardened criminals who think they're out on parole.

After a long search for the best match, doctors have successfully transplanted a pig lung into a brain-dead human being, and I just want to say congratulations on your new lung, Amy Schumer!

Last week, Cracker Barrel board of directors made the mistake of letting a dumb bitch talk them into changing their logo.

The bad news is Cracker Barrel's stock value dropped $100 million.

The good news, we'll be seeing Shane Gillis in Cracker Barrel commercials very soon.

What were Kurt Cobain's last words?

Courtney, don't!

Okay, that's my time.

Thank you.

Wow, exactly 59 seconds.

Two or three of the biggest jokes of the night.

I feel like I have to let Shane know immediately after this episode the joke you just did.

That is so funny.

That is incredible because it's probably true.

Oh, it's very true.

I fucking hate it.

And if y'all look up, seriously, it's crazy.

If y'all look up the CEO of Cracker Barrel, she looks just like fucking the girl from, oh, what is her name?