Martin Short

So if I send in, you know, 15 pages and then I go out with Kimmel or Letterman or Fallon or whoever and they're off or I'm a little off, but if I go out gunning for bear, I feel like whatever happens, I can still toast myself because I did everything I could do.

I did and none of it is working.

I did and none of it is working.

I did and none of it is working.

You should toast yourself. You know what? I should. I should. I mean, I got the lighting.

You should toast yourself. You know what? I should. I should. I mean, I got the lighting.

You should toast yourself. You know what? I should. I should. I mean, I got the lighting.

I should save this for a movie.

I should save this for a movie.

I should save this for a movie.

The first talk show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman. And I kept thinking, what do I do? Like the same thing you're saying, Jason. What do I talk about? What do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it.

The first talk show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman. And I kept thinking, what do I do? Like the same thing you're saying, Jason. What do I talk about? What do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it.

The first talk show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman. And I kept thinking, what do I do? Like the same thing you're saying, Jason. What do I talk about? What do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it.

It's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks and you're kind of on and telling stories, but somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have the hour and a half ramp.

It's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks and you're kind of on and telling stories, but somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have the hour and a half ramp.

It's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks and you're kind of on and telling stories, but somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have the hour and a half ramp.

But all the hosts vary. I mean, you know, sometimes you go... Yeah, some of them go right off. But when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. Right. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care. Tell it again. You know what I mean?

But all the hosts vary. I mean, you know, sometimes you go... Yeah, some of them go right off. But when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. Right. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care. Tell it again. You know what I mean?

But all the hosts vary. I mean, you know, sometimes you go... Yeah, some of them go right off. But when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. Right. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care. Tell it again. You know what I mean?

Steve lives in New York. I rent in New York. But you rent while we're shooting. You don't live in New York. That is correct, sir.