Massimo Pigliucci

And so I struggle with that.

And initially, I struggle with that in an unhealthy way, I would say, which is kind of typical because you have pressure from your peers, even my own parents.

My parents brought me to a dietician when I was in middle school or something like that, which probably was way of an overreaction because the problem certainly was not

was not that dramatic.

But once you get into, you know, you observe the notion from others, including the people who love you, that there is an issue, that there is a problem, that you need really to work on it, then it becomes, it easily becomes an obsession and therefore not healthy.

So I struggle with that on and off, you know, so self-image.

Sometimes it got me into trouble in terms of relationships.

I just wouldn't know how to handle or wouldn't know how to pursue necessarily a friendship or a relationship because of my body image problem.

This is a fundamental stoic idea.

In fact, the phrase dichotomy of control is actually modern.

The ancients themselves, Epictetus, who was Marcus Aurelius' influence, one of the major influences on Marcus, he calls it the fundamental rule, which right there tells you, you know, it's important.

So the fundamental rule says that some things are up to us and other things are not up to us.

And then it gives you the advice of, look, if there is in fact this distinction, you need to focus on the stuff that is up to you because that's where your agency is actually efficacious.

That's where you can make a difference.

And you need to develop a mindful, purposeful attitude of acceptance and equanimity toward the kinds of things that are not up to you.

This is a notion that comes up in a number of other cultures.

It's not just stoic.

It comes out in Judaism, ancient Judaism, ancient Buddhism, modern Christianity, the serenity prayer, for instance, that it's an early 20th century concept.

Christian prayer used in meetings of 12-step organizations like Alcoholic Anonymous essentially does the same thing.

It asks God, in this case, to give you the wisdom to figure out what it is that you can change, what you cannot, the courage to change what you can, and the certainty to accept what you cannot.