Matt Abrahams

I find that many of the younger students that I communicate with, it's hard for them to do some of the initial work that we have to do in relationship building, trust building, just because they expect things or are used to things happening really fast.

And a lot of communication, a lot of connection, at least at first, takes time.

So it's helping people appreciate the time spent up front can lead to the exciting and in-depth connection that comes later.

So it is changing for sure.

yeah absolutely i mean my answer to that question would be curiosity i lead with curiosity ask questions observe things point them out you know a lot of people hate small talk because they don't know how to do it but if if you lead with curiosity if you ask a question and you observe that's where i think we can can one make it move forward in a way that's more fluid and more comfortable for people

And quite frankly, people are most at ease talking about themselves.

And so if you can get people talking about something that's important to them.

And then, you know, there's a whole science behind conversation.

And people who study conversation look at term taking.

Because if you think about it, conversation is just taking turns.

There are turns that are supportive where you say something and I support what you say.

So you might say, hey, Matt, I just got back from Maui.

And I could say, oh, that's great.

Where did you stay?

What did you do?

Or I could say, which is the other type of turn, which is switching.

I could say, oh, I just got back from Costa Rica.

And a good conversation does both.

So being curious and then managing the switching and supporting turns allow for that conversation not only to develop, but it allows you to get closer and more intimate, if you will, that is closer in terms of trust building and the relationship you have.

So as a teacher, as somebody who's trying to convey information that's important to people, I believe a linear approach that clearly lays out the foundations and builds is probably best to help people really understand.