Matt Abrahams

Sometimes I'm giving prepared remarks.

Sometimes it's Q&A where I'm saying some things I've prepared but others I haven't.

So finding vehicles to help you train in different ways, cross-training, if you will, for your communication can really help.

Apologizing is a way of trying to connect.

yet I think it can backfire.

So instead of saying, I'm sorry, or I didn't do work, start with something that you're confident in.

And if you do need to apologize because there's something you didn't do or you need to do, have that come later.

The way you start an interaction sets the tone for the whole interaction.

And if I start by putting myself one down because I apologize, oh, I'm not prepared, or I should have done this differently,

then our interaction is going to be very different.

Start with something that you're comfortable with and confident in, and then if you need to apologize, apologize later.

It really makes a big difference.

No, it bothers me too.

You know, Andrew, my wife taught me a long time ago, I can't pre-apologize.

And that's what people are trying to do, right?

So, and all you do in those circumstances is prime people to pay attention to whatever it is you're doing.

So if I say I didn't sleep well, then people are going to be looking, oh, he's stuttering over his words, he's stumbling, you know.

You want people to focus on your message.

Don't pre-apologize.

Just get to what you're doing.