Matt Higgins

And so the moral of that story, I think when you set an intention, like we were talking before about you getting Richard Branson, who's God and amazing. And you got him on your podcast. I think people oftentimes put a ceiling on what's possible without even realizing it. And the reason why you and I are talking about victimhood and blaming is The fuel for that impulse is blame.

And so the moral of that story, I think when you set an intention, like we were talking before about you getting Richard Branson, who's God and amazing. And you got him on your podcast. I think people oftentimes put a ceiling on what's possible without even realizing it. And the reason why you and I are talking about victimhood and blaming is The fuel for that impulse is blame.

Well, it was easy for you to do because you had X, Y, but I can't possibly achieve. I can't get Richard Branson on my podcast, or I can't get Arnold Schwarzenegger on my book. And so I learned from that very young age that being a little bit defiant and oppositional unlocks all that tremendous opportunity. So that's where the quotes on the back of the book came from.

Well, it was easy for you to do because you had X, Y, but I can't possibly achieve. I can't get Richard Branson on my podcast, or I can't get Arnold Schwarzenegger on my book. And so I learned from that very young age that being a little bit defiant and oppositional unlocks all that tremendous opportunity. So that's where the quotes on the back of the book came from.

I'm lucky to be around a lot of fantastically successful people. And wealth is a proxy for that, but that's not the only measure. But I'm just talking about a specific cohort of extraordinarily wealthy people who've achieved crazy things on their own. And what I find in common is that they make it up in volume.

I'm lucky to be around a lot of fantastically successful people. And wealth is a proxy for that, but that's not the only measure. But I'm just talking about a specific cohort of extraordinarily wealthy people who've achieved crazy things on their own. And what I find in common is that they make it up in volume.

It's like sheer volume of attempts and shots on goal, which most of us can't do because we can't handle losing. Our ego can't handle it. And yet... I'm around people who do such stunningly terrible things. I don't mean ethically, I mean dumb decisions, and with such horrendous consequences. And then I marvel at their ability to go on, and I'm like, this would wreck me.

It's like sheer volume of attempts and shots on goal, which most of us can't do because we can't handle losing. Our ego can't handle it. And yet... I'm around people who do such stunningly terrible things. I don't mean ethically, I mean dumb decisions, and with such horrendous consequences. And then I marvel at their ability to go on, and I'm like, this would wreck me.

And I feel like you and I are connecting over being, you know, somewhat self-possessed, or at least we can handle it. We're resilient to maybe not self-possessed, but resilient. And I watch what they can endure. And I'm like, oh my God, that would kill me. And then I spent some time in the book trying to deconstruct it.

And I feel like you and I are connecting over being, you know, somewhat self-possessed, or at least we can handle it. We're resilient to maybe not self-possessed, but resilient. And I watch what they can endure. And I'm like, oh my God, that would kill me. And then I spent some time in the book trying to deconstruct it.

And what I found is the common thread is that highly, highly successful people who break new ground, when they have a setback, they simply expand the definition of what they're trying to achieve to encapsulate that setback. So in other words, they're like, oh, of course it happened. I mean, this is what I wanted to happen. And by virtue of it happening, I'm gonna be even better position.

And what I found is the common thread is that highly, highly successful people who break new ground, when they have a setback, they simply expand the definition of what they're trying to achieve to encapsulate that setback. So in other words, they're like, oh, of course it happened. I mean, this is what I wanted to happen. And by virtue of it happening, I'm gonna be even better position.

And because they take that attitude, they expand the definition of the journey and success to include that setback, they're ultimately successful. So for those who doesn't come natural, including myself, I came up with a little bit of a simple master of the obvious like format that I do that I realized, When we have a failure, the first thing most of us want to do is protect our reputation.

And because they take that attitude, they expand the definition of the journey and success to include that setback, they're ultimately successful. So for those who doesn't come natural, including myself, I came up with a little bit of a simple master of the obvious like format that I do that I realized, When we have a failure, the first thing most of us want to do is protect our reputation.

When in fact, the thing we should be protecting is our self-esteem. And so now when I have a failure, one, I acknowledge it and say it out loud. I have failed. There's something very powerful about taking away its power over you by trying to conceal it. Two is, but I am not a failure. I had an incident of failure, but I am not a failure. It's just an incident of failure.

When in fact, the thing we should be protecting is our self-esteem. And so now when I have a failure, one, I acknowledge it and say it out loud. I have failed. There's something very powerful about taking away its power over you by trying to conceal it. Two is, but I am not a failure. I had an incident of failure, but I am not a failure. It's just an incident of failure.

And then three, what was that failure trying to teach me? Like, what can I extract so it's useful? And then four, I'm going to go shoot it and bury it in the backyard, never return to it. And when I see really successful people, they do have the ability to absorb the wins and repel the losses. When they win, they're like, I did it. It's a little bit, you know, a little bit narcissistic maybe.

And then three, what was that failure trying to teach me? Like, what can I extract so it's useful? And then four, I'm going to go shoot it and bury it in the backyard, never return to it. And when I see really successful people, they do have the ability to absorb the wins and repel the losses. When they win, they're like, I did it. It's a little bit, you know, a little bit narcissistic maybe.

But when I lost, it was like, that's okay. It doesn't affect their self-esteem.

But when I lost, it was like, that's okay. It doesn't affect their self-esteem.