Matt Higgins

But the truth of the matter is, that was me trying to preserve my self-respect. I sat on the steps of Cordoza High School. I packed a butt. Back then, you packed butts. I don't know if you do anymore. And I spoke to Marlboro. And I really, this is true. I really sat there and said, you know, he's probably right. And it was such a hollow, desperate moment, which is funny.

But the truth of the matter is, that was me trying to preserve my self-respect. I sat on the steps of Cordoza High School. I packed a butt. Back then, you packed butts. I don't know if you do anymore. And I spoke to Marlboro. And I really, this is true. I really sat there and said, you know, he's probably right. And it was such a hollow, desperate moment, which is funny.

This is not a moment of transcendence or victory. This is a moment of Utter like, look what I have done. Like I have leveled my- This is real. This is real. Like I am a high school dropout with an eighth grade education. And I had started off as a kid who went to a special school and like all this kind of like, wow. And here's the other crazy thing. I never talk about this.

This is not a moment of transcendence or victory. This is a moment of Utter like, look what I have done. Like I have leveled my- This is real. This is real. Like I am a high school dropout with an eighth grade education. And I had started off as a kid who went to a special school and like all this kind of like, wow. And here's the other crazy thing. I never talk about this.

When you stood outside smoking cigarettes in Queens, you know, security guards would shoo you away and all that. But I was allowed to sit there now. I was emancipated, except it didn't feel very good. You know what I mean? I had no structure. Now I had no bureaucracy on top of me. Nobody would chase me away. I just sat there smoking a cigarette. And then I got to pick my ass up off those steps.

When you stood outside smoking cigarettes in Queens, you know, security guards would shoo you away and all that. But I was allowed to sit there now. I was emancipated, except it didn't feel very good. You know what I mean? I had no structure. Now I had no bureaucracy on top of me. Nobody would chase me away. I just sat there smoking a cigarette. And then I got to pick my ass up off those steps.

And I was like, all right, go to work. And I remember... With the GED, you have to take this GED program, which I did one day of that. I was like, I am not doing that. This is creating a feedback loop that is not healthy. And instead, I decided I would take the test on standby. You could show up and take it. And I went to Springfield Gardens High School in Queens, New York.

And I was like, all right, go to work. And I remember... With the GED, you have to take this GED program, which I did one day of that. I was like, I am not doing that. This is creating a feedback loop that is not healthy. And instead, I decided I would take the test on standby. You could show up and take it. And I went to Springfield Gardens High School in Queens, New York.

And I waited in line one day. And within a week, I took the GED. And fast forward, got the score back, took the SATs for good measure anyway. And I got admitted to Queens College. Now, this is the redemption story. Just like Gladiator and Maximus, I decided to return to the arena. And I went to the prom with the prettiest girl who would go with me.

And I waited in line one day. And within a week, I took the GED. And fast forward, got the score back, took the SATs for good measure anyway. And I got admitted to Queens College. Now, this is the redemption story. Just like Gladiator and Maximus, I decided to return to the arena. And I went to the prom with the prettiest girl who would go with me.

And I remember seeing Mr. Rosenthal, Dr. Baker, and Mrs. Vega. And the look was all different from their prism of perspective. Mrs. Vega, who was always so empathetic, was like, oh, sweet boy. Like, you did good. And Mr. Rosenthal was begrudging respect. And so with one chess move, whatever judgment had been rendered toward me had turned to some form of admiration.

And I remember seeing Mr. Rosenthal, Dr. Baker, and Mrs. Vega. And the look was all different from their prism of perspective. Mrs. Vega, who was always so empathetic, was like, oh, sweet boy. Like, you did good. And Mr. Rosenthal was begrudging respect. And so with one chess move, whatever judgment had been rendered toward me had turned to some form of admiration.

And it's an important thing for everybody listening. If you're going to make a bull burn the boat's move, also why I wrote the book, you're going to have to go it alone. If you depend on validation when you have an epiphany like I did, and you depend on counseling from people who have no perspective, nobody could look into that dirty house and watch my mother crying through the night.

And it's an important thing for everybody listening. If you're going to make a bull burn the boat's move, also why I wrote the book, you're going to have to go it alone. If you depend on validation when you have an epiphany like I did, and you depend on counseling from people who have no perspective, nobody could look into that dirty house and watch my mother crying through the night.

And like what it would take for a little boy to deal with that pressure. Of course, their advice is going to be corrupted because you haven't shared with them what you're going through. They didn't know actually the level of pain I was in because I was wearing my Jordache jeans and using that flower money to cover it all up.

And like what it would take for a little boy to deal with that pressure. Of course, their advice is going to be corrupted because you haven't shared with them what you're going through. They didn't know actually the level of pain I was in because I was wearing my Jordache jeans and using that flower money to cover it all up.

And so I learned so much from that one moment, which is why I'm kind of stuck there. Because I always like to share with people, what does it take to do something so outrageously bold? But long story short, I went to my prom as a president of the debate team when I was 17 years old.

And so I learned so much from that one moment, which is why I'm kind of stuck there. Because I always like to share with people, what does it take to do something so outrageously bold? But long story short, I went to my prom as a president of the debate team when I was 17 years old.

It's still raw, years later, still very raw.

It's still raw, years later, still very raw.