Matt Walsh

So in the spirit of our founding fathers, I humbly present

my proposal for what you might call a Heritage American Bill of Rights.

This is a series of rules that, if enforced, would ensure the future survival of the United States by protecting the culture and shared heritage that our president has correctly identified as fundamental to our existence as a nation.

Rule number one, first generation immigrants should not be permitted to serve in Congress at all, especially illiterate Somali ones, but also in general.

Like if you just got here,

then you have no business telling Americans how to live their lives.

You have no business spending their money.

You certainly have no business complaining all the time or defaming millions of people.

It's the height of humiliation for Americans to have to listen to a member of Congress talk about World War XI.

No self-respecting country would tolerate this.

We shouldn't either.

We already require that presidents must be natural-born citizens.

And that requirement should simply be extended to Congress as well for all the same reasons that we applied to the presidency.

Rule number two, foreigners who can't speak English or who cost taxpayers money should be deported.

And if they're citizens, they should be denaturalized and deported.

Anyone who doesn't speak our language is not an American.

They can't participate in our society.

Communication is one of the fundamental, is perhaps the fundamental requirement, number one, of participating in a society, is being able to communicate.

And if you can't do that, then you're not a participant in that society, you're not a member of that society.

So they can't assimilate.