Maureen Callahan

Her hair is blue.

We already know she's got piercings.

I think she's got tattoos.

She is screaming out for help.

And I think the last place this girl should be is on social fucking media.

Now, Oprah's birthday was yesterday, you guys.

Can you believe it?

Sarah Jessica Parker has some competition for a sprightly heroine roaming about New York.

You know, she's a fresh as a daisy, 72.

It's been a big month for Oprah.

doing a book tour for a book she didn't write, pushing all of her GLP-1 bullshit.

And her and her platonic, oh, sorry, she rather, Oprah, she and her platonic best friend, Gail, celebrated the 50th anniversary of the beginning of their friendship the night that Gail hosted Oprah at her condo on a very snowy night in Chicago.

And Oprah said, but I have nothing to wear.

to sleep.

And Gail said, I'll give you a pair of my underwear.

Oh, sorry.

Marlena corrects me.

It was Baltimore.

Who cares?

The salient detail is that Gail gave Oprah her used underwear and Oprah took it and wore it.