Maureen Callahan

But, you know, what do you make of Hollywood?

You know, the note, as long as I've been alive, has been the same after every ceremony.

Shorten it.

Shorten it, make it smaller, make it tighter, give them more, I'm sorry, the less star-studded awards, do them off-screen, have a separate, you know, they won't take the note.

What is the problem?

And the host, it's always a joke for the host.

Oh, we're only like eight hours over time.

It looks like we're coming in on time.

It's like, it's so broken.

Our attention spans have shortened ever further.

You know, I watched some of Kelly and Mark's like after show the next morning.

Those things used to be really fun.

And you would get like the A-list stars, like the minute after they won.

And it was so boring.

They had Carson Kressley on.

No offense to Carson Kressley, but he's no longer culturally relevant.

My other note for the Oscars is, hey, nominate movies people actually have watched.

I still couldn't tell you half of the nominated films.

I don't remember their names.

And I consume culture for a living, for fun and profit.