Maya Shankar

Music was a vehicle through which I could feel close to my fellow humans.

Just because I lost the violin didn't mean that I lost what led me to love it in the first place.

And so if I could anchor my identity to that, to my why, oh, I'm the type of person who loves emotional connection, then the exercise becomes, OK, well, I can't play the violin anymore, but how else can I find ways to express this part of myself?

And it turns out that subconsciously I've been drawn to spaces that are all about human connection, right?

As a cognitive neuroscientist and cognitive psychologist, I study the science of human connection.

In my podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, in writing my book where I was doing interviews for years, it was all about forging deep emotional connection.

And so that why, if you can identify it, whether it's having an outlet for creative expression, liking to see yourself get better at something, giving back to your community, showing empathy for others, whatever the why is, it can be a soft landing for people when life makes other plans for you and can help you build a more resilient, almost a fortress that can buttress you in those moments.

And so as I'm navigating my present day change,

I'm trying to ask myself, well, what were you craving from parenthood, right?

What were you craving from motherhood?

And if you don't end up having a family, what are other ways that you can express those same desires in life, right?

And so I have found that to be a very, very helpful reframe for me that has made me feel whole even when life has threatened my big dreams.

It's such a wonderful, interesting philosophical question.

I envy those with religious faith.

I'm actually agnostic.

And I don't have that.

I don't have that thing to fall back on when things happen.

And in many ways, I've written a secular guide for people.

So I hope that people have...

other mechanisms to navigate their big changes, right?