Melissa Doman

You can't just talk about a struggle and not what you're gonna do about it.

That's what I think there's a big missing piece

when people talk about their emotional struggles, whether it's stress, whether it's a mental health condition, whatever it is.

And I think that is the key missing piece because leaders are so worn out and desperate that when they talk about their struggles, it's often at the point when they can't stay silent anymore and it doesn't come out in a constructive way.

That's what makes people lose trust, credibility, influence.

You know, psychological safety because of the delivery.

So there is a difference between someone raising their voice and saying, I can't deal with this bleep.

And, you know, you guys are doing what I'm saying and I'm not sleeping at night versus me.

I'm feeling really spread thin from the 12 hour days we've been working.

If I'm not acting like myself, it's because my plate is really full.

Please don't take it personally.

I'm doing what I need to do to manage this.

But what would be really helpful for me is if you can please do A, B and C. Big difference.

You have to put some structure, statement of intention, why you're telling people what you want them to do with the information and for them to understand they don't need to solve it.

And we have to shift the narrative that leaders talking about struggle is part of effective leadership development.

It shows they're self-aware.

It shows they can self-manage.

It shows that they will humanize themselves to their teams and that

They care enough about it instead of suppressing their emotions and ignoring it, which doesn't often lead to good leadership.

So there are some cases, absolutely, where people will try to weaponize this information against leaders.