Melissa Kirsch

Thank you so much. This was really great.

Thank you so much. This was really great.

Happy New Year to you. We're going to take a little break, and when we return, lessons from 20 years of the Times' Modern Love column. 20 years ago, Daniel Jones helped create the Times' Modern Love column.

Happy New Year to you. We're going to take a little break, and when we return, lessons from 20 years of the Times' Modern Love column. 20 years ago, Daniel Jones helped create the Times' Modern Love column.

Every week, Modern Love publishes personal essays on love in all its forms, not just romantic love, but love between parents and children, siblings, love between friends, love that's lost or unrequited. Dan has read thousands of these love stories, and today he's here to tell us what he's learned. Hi, Dan.

Every week, Modern Love publishes personal essays on love in all its forms, not just romantic love, but love between parents and children, siblings, love between friends, love that's lost or unrequited. Dan has read thousands of these love stories, and today he's here to tell us what he's learned. Hi, Dan.

So, Dan, I imagine over all the years of doing this work, your perspective on love has probably changed. How has this work changed the way you think about love?

So, Dan, I imagine over all the years of doing this work, your perspective on love has probably changed. How has this work changed the way you think about love?

You published a piece earlier this year about what you've learned from reading and editing all these love stories. One of the takeaways that stayed with me is the line, love is more like a basketball than a vase. Talk about that.

You published a piece earlier this year about what you've learned from reading and editing all these love stories. One of the takeaways that stayed with me is the line, love is more like a basketball than a vase. Talk about that.

Looking back over the archive, so many of the stories that you publish are about love that doesn't last. They're about breakups, they're about one-night stands, or they're about chance encounters with people that you never see again. It's about the loss of love or a very fleeting love more than it's about an enduring love. I'd love to talk about what you take away from pieces like that.

Looking back over the archive, so many of the stories that you publish are about love that doesn't last. They're about breakups, they're about one-night stands, or they're about chance encounters with people that you never see again. It's about the loss of love or a very fleeting love more than it's about an enduring love. I'd love to talk about what you take away from pieces like that.

Maybe it's what, like, movies and fairy tales maybe tell us about what a successful relationship looks like, right?

Maybe it's what, like, movies and fairy tales maybe tell us about what a successful relationship looks like, right?

Mm-hmm. My favorite modern love essays tend to be about tiny quiet moments instead of grand gestures. I'm thinking about essays like learning to measure time in love and loss. Talk to me about that piece.

Mm-hmm. My favorite modern love essays tend to be about tiny quiet moments instead of grand gestures. I'm thinking about essays like learning to measure time in love and loss. Talk to me about that piece.

Well, thank you so much, Dan, for talking with me today. Thank you, Melissa. And Happy New Year to you. Happy New Year to you. We're going to take a short break. And when we return, New York Times readers share the best advice they received this year.

Well, thank you so much, Dan, for talking with me today. Thank you, Melissa. And Happy New Year to you. Happy New Year to you. We're going to take a short break. And when we return, New York Times readers share the best advice they received this year.

Instead of trying harder, try softer.

Instead of trying harder, try softer.