Melissa Vranjes

Yeah, but you could wake them up.

You could totally wake them up.

Yeah, I mean, that's, yeah, I think that's different.

We've got to respect people's sleep.

But I think it's always understanding, like, why are you masturbating next to your partner who's asleep?

Is it because your needs aren't getting met?

Is it because you had sex and you didn't get off?

Is it because, you know, it's just always like I'm always being a sexual detective always.

what's happening why is that happening sometimes it can be erotic it's like oh my god they're asleep and i'm touching myself this is so hot you know um there's a lot of questions to ask about that then isn't there yeah well it's just getting it's just getting curious around it it's not making it right or wrong shameful good bad it's just like cool why are we doing that what's happening there what question did you ask before

Yeah.

Do you know what actually does come up in sessions is my partner wants sex five times a week.

They masturbate.

I feel guilty because I'm not meeting their needs because they're masturbating.

And what I will always say that it's like, let them masturbate.

It's fine.

Don't make it mean something about you and you not like work through your own guilt and your own shame.

And just about what I'm.

and available for and giving is perfect for me.

Like I'm not available for sex five times a week and them masturbating, it's a beautiful way for them to connect with themselves and get that need met.

You know, it's just like, let's just clean that up