Meth User Listener 3
Appearances
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
I couldn't stop using. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I mean, I was like stealing it from people that I was hooking up with, using everything that I had really fast. And it got to a point where right around 21, I was like in my carpet, like looking through the carpet for like little shards of...
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
meth to put in a pipe and try to smoke I remember like vacuuming and like emptying the vacuum on my desk and like trying to like dig out little shards and we had a cat in this house that we lived at and I mean that you know kitty litter looks a lot there's like these crystals in kitty litter that looks a lot like it and I remember kind of just tasting gross stuff you know I'd
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
stuff in the pipe and just try to get something out of it. I mean, I was so desperate. Yeah, the addiction was like full on. There was no stopping it.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
I remember getting really angry and opening the door to confront them, and nobody was there. I felt it rock my core. And I'm like, oh my God. I may have imagined that, but I think that's like my subconscious trying to fight for me. Like there's this part of me that wants to live. There's this part of me that wants to not do this anymore.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
Like there's a part of me that's just like so tired of like the really dark life, the situations, the hearing the voices, the like the financial insecurity, the like feeling so alone. Like it just got to a point where I just, I was tired. And if... And if I didn't do anything, like I felt like I was going to die. If I didn't do it myself, like something was going to kill me.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
So I just felt like it was like, I don't know. I'm not a religious person, but it felt like very spiritual to me. It was like something wanted me to live. Yeah.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
I actually texted my sister and I said, hey, I want to be honest. I have a problem. I've been using meth for so long and... I needed help. And I remember just immediately her calling me and like just bawling and being like, you know, we will help you. You are fine. We love you. And we just want you to be better.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
I don't know why I just was so scared because I thought they were going to reject me and just be like, you know, that's disgusting. You're on your own. I don't know. I just thought like there was a chance that they just wouldn't respond the way that they had.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
And now here I am, and now I'm like super happy and proud. I'm really excited to see what you do next. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, I'm excited.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
I remember just being like really horny, really horny. You know, wanting to be like touched and like...
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
You know, I couldn't leave the house or drive because I was so paranoid. You know, I had like blankets covering all of my windows and I would just like stand there.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
Because in my mind, I like knew somebody was out there watching me. You know, I don't know who it is. Maybe it's the cops or I don't know. And I would hear voices. I would hear my neighbors talking about me. And I'd be like, oh, my God. And, you know, I would turn my phone off and like turn electronics off because I knew there was like trackers and everything.
Science Vs
Methamphetamine: The Most Misunderstood Drug?
And it was so intense and it was just so dark.